It's About Time
by CupcakeCarol
Summary: Picking up where "Explosive Eighteen" left off, Joe decides that it's time to confront Stephanie about her relationship with Ranger and her real fears about why she's unable to commit to Joe.  Completely Cupcake!
1. Chapter 1

I do not own any of JE's characters. The prologue to this story comes from the end of "Explosive Eighteen", with Chapter One immediately following the last sentence of the Prologue. This is for the Cupcakes!

* * *

><p>Prologue<p>

_He looked down at my knees. "I heard you brought The Rug in. Looks like you tackled him."_

"_Yeah, I should take a shower. The blood's caking."_

"_I could help you with a shower." He put the corned beef down and picked up Annie's little bottle. "Your mother thinks of everything. I've had heartburn all day." He unscrewed the bottle and drank it before I could stop him._

_I stared at him. "Um, how do you feel?" I asked._

_He thought for a moment. "Better," he finally said. "Warm." His eyes got dark and soft, and the corners of his mouth tipped into a smile. "Very friendly." He reached out for me and pulled me into him. "Come here, Cupcake."_

* * *

><p>Chapter One<p>

_Finally! _Joe drew me against his hard body. This was the Morelli I knew and loved—warm, caring and sexy as hell. I was hoping his actions indicated he was finally moving past his anger over what will forever be remembered as "The Hawaii fiasco".

I reached up and pulled his head down to run my tongue across his warm, soft lips and smiled when he let out a low groan and claimed my mouth, immediately deepening the kiss. Using his own tongue, he kept pulling me in further, until I was swamped with the need to be with him.

I moved my hands all over his muscular build, trying in familiar ways to let him know I was ready to get this party moving toward the bedroom. But Morelli seemed to be in no rush. He just kept moving his lips against mine with those same mesmerizing kisses. _Talk about confusing._ Wasn't he just talking about helping me with a shower a minute ago? Why wasn't he responding to my touches? Why wasn't he trying to get me out of my clothes already, for God's sake?

Okay…maybe he wanted me to take the initiative. Reaching for the front of Morelli's blue jeans, my fingers brushed across the obvious desire he had for me. Just as I was about to open the button to his fly, he reached down and stilled my hands, still kissing me. _What the hell!_

I was getting pissed. Don't get me wrong, the kisses were pretty hot, but they were making me uncomfortable, almost like Morelli was purposefully trying to draw me deeper into his soul. Well that wasn't how we did things. Nope. We had fun, we had passion, we even had an unidentifiable connection in our sexual encounters, but what we didn't have was intimacy. And this was becoming WAY too intimate for this girl's comfort zone!

As Morelli slid his arms around my back to pull me in closer, I finally worked up the energy to break the kiss and shove away from him. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I frowned. "You know I don't need any of this foreplay. I want to be with you as badly as you do with me, so come on, let's go," I urged, pulling on one his hands and trying to lead him down the hall toward my bedroom.

Morelli just stood there and smiled at me with that sexy grin of his. "Not this time, Cupcake."

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion. "I thought that's why you're here. Don't you want to…you know…" I jerked my head toward the bedroom door.

Morelli gave a gentle tug and pulled me back into his arms. "Stephanie, we have to talk."

_Uh-oh. Talk?_ I thought we had successfully managed to avoid having the TALK, since both of us had been too wrapped up in work upon our return from the Island.

"Talk?" I frowned. "I thought everything was okay now. You've been telling me you didn't want to talk." I was starting to sweat. "We've had make-up sex and everything, Morelli. We can't talk after make-up sex. It's against the rules!"

He smiled again and led me unwillingly toward the couch in the living room. I could hear Rex scurrying around in his little hamster cage, and I started thinking maybe I better start scurrying out my front door. There was no way this talk was going to go well. Let alone the fact I knew he was going to be pissed about Ranger, Morelli and I didn't have the kind of relationship where we talked about our feelings.

Our relationship was either on or off. And when it was on, it was great. Neither one of us had over-the-top expectations of the other. We were both content to eat meals, watch television and have copious amounts of hot monkey sex. But have deep conversations? No way! I didn't do that with anyone. Well, except maybe Rex, and that was only because he was good at keeping secrets.

Sitting down on my couch, Morelli pulled me down to sit on his lap and put his arms around my waist. I think he knew I was about to bolt, because he took one look at my face and those arms squeezed just a little bit tighter.

He took a deep breath and began, "Steph…"

Nope. I couldn't allow this to start going down a bad path. "Listen, Morelli," I cut him off with what I hoped was an alluring smile. But before I could say another word, he cut _me _off.

"Why don't you ever call me Joe?" he asked quietly.

_What? _"Where the hell did that come from!" I blurted, truly stunned. I had almost always called him Morelli for more than 20 years. He'd never complained before.

"I want to know," he insisted. "Morelli seems pretty emotionally detached. Is that how you feel about me?"

"What is _with you_ tonight?" I asked. "When I got here, you seemed all…you know…snuggly and stuff. Talking about helping me with a shower. I thought you wanted to have a little more make-up sex." I smiled again and reached down to run my fingers over the bulge that remained in his pants. "At least _part of you_ seems interested." I lowered my voice and continued, "I know I could be persuaded."

Morelli—excuse me—_JOE—_merely reached down and removed my hand, placing it in my own lap. "I can't help how I respond to you, Cupcake. You are, without a doubt, the smartest, sexiest woman I've ever known. But tonight I want to talk."

Okay. So maybe if he continued saying sweet things like this, talking wouldn't be so bad. "You think I'm sexy?" I flirted, leaning closer toward him.

He smiled for a moment. "You know I do. But what I feel for you goes way deeper than sex." He stopped and shook his head. "I'm getting ahead of myself. I want to talk about Hawaii."

I tried to slide off his lap, but his hands held me firmly in place.

"Well, maybe I don't," I responded with perhaps a tad too much attitude. I went on the offensive. "What's there to say? Let me remind you I invited _you_ to come with me on that trip, but once again your work took precedence over me. I ended up doing a professional job, and, yes, it was with the help of Ranger. I then witnessed the most horrific fight I've ever seen in my life between the two of you, endured the trip from hell home, and spent the past week trying to survive being hunted down by any number of whack-jobs looking for a picture I didn't even have!"

"Stephanie, I know about your relationship with Ranger."

_Shit! _My whole mind and body went numb. Now instead of feeling bloody and dirty from taking down The Rug, I just felt plain dirty. This was the single moment I had been dreading for more than a year. Subconsciously I knew judgment day was going to arrive sooner or later, but I'd been too busy lusting/loving two amazing men at the same time to have truly cared up until now.

While I'd had my moments of guilt and angst, the truth was I'd thrived on the mystery of having two unique, unbelievably sexy men interested in me at the same time. Ranger was fully aware of both relationships and had made it clear he didn't really care. I knew however Morelli was not built in the same character mold as Ranger. This was going to hurt him. The party was over, and I was about to get my just reward.

Head down, my brain frantically started working to think of a way to avoid this confrontation and, to my shame, my mouth actually started forming a lie to try and stop this train-wreck from happening. "The truth is—"

"The truth is you spent a week fucking Ranger, and that wasn't the first time." Morelli cut in bluntly, his voice showing the first hint of anger. "Do you really think so little of me, Steph? Do you think I'm stupid? I've been aware of what's been happening with the two of you since the first time after Abruzzi."

I couldn't help it. My jaw literally dropped. He'd known all that time? But Morelli and I had been back together since then, and he'd never said a word.

As if reading my mind, Morelli continued, "I've been having sex for a _long_ time, Cupcake, and as much as I hate to admit it, I've even cheated myself in past relationships. I know when something has changed and what it feels like when someone else is part of the picture. The difference is I've never cared before."

He grimaced. "Normally I'd cut my losses and move on. I've kept a blind eye with you all of this time, because I'm so fucking head over heels in love with you. We've tried it on and we've tried it off, and as much as it's killed me to knowingly share you with another man—with _Ranger_, for God's sake—I've kept my mouth shut, like some kind of pussy. And I won't do it anymore."

"Are you saying we're done?" I asked, my eyes still unable to look anywhere but at my hands in my lap. I was so ashamed. I honestly didn't know what else to say. There was nothing I could do to justify my actions. And in that moment, the reality of my life without Joe Morelli became miserably clear.

He took his finger and lifted my chin, so I was forced to look at him. For perhaps the first time, I allowed myself to see how tired he looked—how weary his eyes were, and yet they were still filled with some sort of love for me.

"I'm saying we're going to talk."

_Oh boy._


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Two<p>

Morelli lifted me off his lap and gently plopped me down next to him on the sofa. I immediately scooted as far away as possible, pulling my knees up against my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around them. I couldn't possibly have looked any more self-defensive than I already was feeling. Having no idea where he was going with this conversation, I was at a complete loss as to what to do.

"First I want to apologize for the way I attacked you about Ranger."

_Huh? _I wasn't exactly expecting an apology. Wasn't that supposed to be my responsibility? Before I could think of anything to say, Morelli continued, "I've got a lot of pent-up feelings to get out, but I honestly didn't come here tonight to punish you."

He sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. It was way overdue for a haircut and curling at the edges just the way I liked it. My heart gave a little jump when I realized I might never have the right to run my own fingers through that beautiful hair again.

"It's amazing what clarity can come to you when you're sixty thousand feet in the air for ten hours and suffering from a broken nose. Looking like I did, no one wanted to come within ten feet of me. I think they were all afraid of me. Because of it, I was allowed to sit and just think."

He was looking up at the ceiling. "When I'm here, my job sucks most of my time and energy, and when we're together the rest of my brain cells are fried from either amazing sex or simply trying to keep up with you and your crazy life."

The corners of Morelli's mouth turned up just a tad. "Anyway, I'll admit my first thoughts were flat out evil. I was pissed beyond belief at finding you with Ranger. Honest to God, Steph, I wanted to kill him when he and I were fighting. It _killed_ _me_ to know he'd had his hands on you—that he'd touched you in the same ways I have."

He looked directly at me. "Somewhere over the Pacific Ocean I started having all of these amazing realizations-one epiphany after another. Some of them were pretty hard for me to accept."

I knew I probably wasn't going to like anything he had to say, but I couldn't seem to stop my mouth from asking, "What kind of epiphanies?"

Morelli paused for a minute to gather his thoughts. "I started thinking about why would you be involved with two men at the same time. I've known you all your life, Stephanie Plum, and even though we haven't been close until the past few years, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt playing two men against each other is NOT the real you. I think you've been led to this point by a number of factors, starting with that asshole ex-husband of yours. Even though you'd never admit it, I know his betrayal did a real number on your self-image. It made you question yourself and doubt just how unbelievably desirable you really are."

"That's not true," I denied. "Dickie was a mistake from the beginning, and I could care less he cheated one me. He did me a favor!"

"Yeah, in a way he did. I know you'd never have lasted, but the fact remains anyone who has had someone cheat on them can't help but have a bruised psyche." He dropped his voice. "I know."

"Joe—"

He cut me off. "But that's just the beginning. It would be easy to only blame Dickhead. When I really started thinking though, I realized long before him there was someone else who played a part in building your self-image-someone who didn't treat you with all of the respect you deserved then—and now."

"Who?" I asked somewhat bewildered.

Morelli waited until I looked him in the eyes again. "Me."

Dead silence.

"I started thinking back to those early years. The time in my garage I could brush off as ignorance and childish curiosity, but the time with you at the bakery? Well that was just completely selfish on my part. I'd had my eye on you for some time. You had so much passion and drive. Even then you were fighting the stigma of living in the Burg."

He smiled at the memory. "And yet, there was this sweet innocence about you. You had a real home. On the other hand, I had shit. My old man was a complete fuck-up, my mom ran herself ragged trying to keep track of me and my brothers, and I had no one of value to instill any sense of honor in me."

I couldn't believe Morelli was saying all of this to me. I don't think I'd ever heard him say this much at any one time.

"Amazingly, I had enough sense to stay away from you for a long time after the "Choo Choo Incident". It was a hell of a lot easier to stick with girls I knew weren't going to question anything about me. Girls like Terry Gilman. And the truth is, I liked sex-a lot. Big surprise, huh?" He gave a rather self-condemning laugh before continuing. "It was the football coach—Coach Delaney—who first brought up the idea of me joining the Navy during my senior year. To this day I have no idea what he saw in me, but he convinced me that staying in the Burg after high school was just going to lead me down the same path as my brothers. He said he thought I could do better, but I needed to learn self-control. If only I could have had a little of it when I walked into the Tasty Pastry that night."

I could feel myself being pulled back emotionally to that life-changing night. "Why _did_ you come?" I asked somewhat shyly. "I've always wanted to know, but was afraid to ask. Was it by chance?"

Morelli laughed again. "No, it wasn't by chance. I told you I'd had my eye on you. When it came down to the time for me to leave for basic training, I kept thinking about you. I decided I couldn't leave without seeing you one more time. I swear to you, Steph, when I walked in that night, I never intended to seduce you. I just wanted to tease you a little bit, talk to you, find out what you were like. I don't know-something."

He took my hand in both of his and started to caress the back of it with his fingers. "One thing led to another and you were just so goddamn beautiful—the sexiest thing I'd ever seen with all of that curly hair and those big blue eyes. I wanted _one_ kiss before I left to see what it would be like. And when you kissed me back?" He looked at me with the same hunger he'd had that night. "It was like _nothing_ I'd ever felt before."

"I'd heard all the rumors surrounding your reputation growing up," I said quietly. "But I had such a crush on you all through high school. When you kissed me, I couldn't believe it. I didn't know what to do—what to say—how to act. I had very little experience with boys."

"I know," Morelli replied. "And that's what made you even more desirable. You were amazing, Cupcake. But what started as something innocent in my mind quickly became overshadowed when my dick started doing the thinking. You were just so goddamn responsive."

He seemed to shake himself of the memory. "I'm getting off the subject here. The point is you _were_ innocent, and I wasn't. I should have had more self-control, and it was inexcusable for me to take something so precious from you behind an éclair case in a bakery. Worse yet, I never apologized, _and_ I left immediately afterward without another word to you."

"You did apologize later," I offered.

"No, I didn't. After we met up again a few years ago—when I was on the run and you were making my life a living hell—" He rolled his eyes. "I remember asking you if you took some responsibility in what happened that night. And you foolishly did. I was too embarrassed over what I'd done to spend too much time dwelling on it, and I couldn't believe I'd been given another chance to be in your life. I didn't want to blow it, so I tried to make it seem as though we both had wanted it. I didn't apologize, Stephanie."

"But I did want it," I protested. I couldn't lie to him. I did want big bad Joe Morelli—every girl's fantasy growing up.

Morelli reached up and cupped my cheek with his palm. "Looking back, maybe you did—maybe you didn't. The point is I never really gave you a choice. I took advantage of your naïveté. I should have apologized the night it happened, and I certainly should have apologized when we got back together. Getting back to my epiphany on the plane, I realized I was the first person to treat you like shit, and I truly believe that night set the tone for how you've viewed yourself all of these years."

"Bullshit, Morelli. Nobody _makes_ me feel anything. I'm my own person, and I'm perfectly capable of handling my own emotions." I felt the anger rising in me.

"And there you go into self-protection mode." Morelli commented. "Anytime someone tries to get serious with you, Cupcake, all these barriers come up. You're not about to let anyone see you hurting."

"That's not true!"

"It is true. If it's not, then why won't you let me do what should have been done years ago. Why won't you let me apologize?"

"Oh for God's sake, if you feel you must, then do it. I don't care!" I threw my hands up over my head, trying to stifle the ball of anxiety backing up into my throat. I felt a pressing need to get away from him. "Hurry up though. I'm filthy, and I want take a shower—_alone_."

Morelli knew he'd struck a nerve. "Steph, please. I need to do this. Seriously." He took my hand again. "I'm asking you to forgive me for not treating you with the respect you deserved that night—for not caring you were a virgin—for walking away and not having any further contact with you—for forcing you to run me over with your dad's car to get me to see what an asshole I'd been, but mostly, for not taking the chance to apologize and make it right when we got back together a few years ago. Will you forgive me, Steph?"

He was looking at me intently and with absolute sincerity. Out of nowhere I could feel emotion coming up my throat and into my eyes. All I wanted was to brush him off with some flip reply. Why couldn't I let him apologize? I opened my mouth to speak and burst into tears instead. _What the hell?_

I was sobbing now—the kind of crying that had you doubled-over with snot running down your face. Morelli immediately scooted across the coach and pulled me awkwardly into his arms. "Go ahead and cry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry I did that to you. Please say you'll forgive me."

I couldn't think, and I couldn't imagine why I was having such a reaction to all of this. All these years I'd looked at that night somewhat cynically, thinking I'd partially deserved what I got. I hadn't had the good sense to listen to all of the rumors and stay away from him. Hearing him ask for my forgiveness had opened up a part of my heart I'd kept locked for over 15 years. It brought out all of the hurt and embarrassment I'd felt after he left without another word to me, along with all of the anger and resentment I'd felt at being stupid enough to have sex with him on the floor of a bakery without any form of relationship. I'd felt like such a cheap loser that night-no better than Terry Gilman or her friends.

"I was such a loser," I cried. "I should have said no to you. What you must have thought of me!"

"The truth is, Cupcake, it wouldn't have mattered what I thought of you once we got going. Like I said, I wasn't thinking with my head. Once I got to basic training, I realized you'd scared the shit out of me. You were everything I had imagined you'd be and more. If I hadn't already left, I would have gotten far away from you. I had a hell of a lot of growing up to do myself and was nowhere near the man you deserved at the time. But you still haven't answered me. Will you forgive me?"

I wanted to deny all he had said and push him away from me, but instead found myself nodding. "Y-y-yes," I stuttered through my tears.

"Thank you," he whispered. I could feel his warm breath against my temple.

He held me quietly, until I finally regained some semblance of control. I was totally spent from crying and wanted nothing more than to get cleaned up, drop into bed and sleep for about a hundred hours. "I want to take a shower," I mumbled, starting to get up. "I know I need to apologize to you about Ranger. You deserve an explanation, but I just can't right now."

He gave me a kiss on my forehead. "It's okay. There's a lot more that needs to be said, Stephanie. We need to resolve all of this once and for all—regardless of what happens. I'm taking the day off tomorrow. Would it be okay if I pick you up in the morning? I want to spend the day with you."

Everything within me wanted to say no. I wanted to run and hide. But Joe—he was fast becoming Joe in my heart—deserved answers.

"Okay. I'll be ready by nine."

Joe stood and gave me short, sweet kiss. "Please don't be afraid, Steph. I'm not going to hurt you. I'll see you tomorrow." And with that he quickly put on his shoes, grabbed his jacket and keys and headed out the door.

I remained standing there. _Yes, but will I hurt you?_


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Three<p>

The alarm went off precisely at 8 a.m. and was quickly slapped off by a flinging arm. _Ugh! _I pulled a pillow over my eyes against the bright sunlight streaming through my bedroom window. My head and body felt like I'd been out on a major bender. My eyes were still swollen from crying so much the night before, and there was a dull ache at the base of my skull.

Going to bed had sounded so simple, but in reality I'd been up most of the night going over all that had happened yesterday. First I'd berate myself for not having come clean with Joe from the very beginning about Ranger. Next I would wonder why he hadn't said anything to _me _during all of those months of our on-again/off-again relationship. _How could he have continued to sleep with me_? Then I would try to make sense of his apology. He'd seemed so insistent he was partially at fault for my decisions as an adult. It made no sense, and I felt residual guilt for allowing him to seek my forgiveness. I was the one who needed to be begging for forgiveness. Regardless of what happened to us in the future, he deserved an apology.

Laying there trying to force my eyes open, I continued with my thoughts. Why did he want to spend the day with me? What more was there to say? The idea of having to endure any more conversations like last night made me cringe. _I was SO tired_.

I finally was able to drag my ass out of the bed and went through the motions of taking a shower and dressing in jeans and a stretchy t-shirt—one of Joe's favorites. Not knowing where we were going or what he had planned for the day, I decided to pull my hair back into a ponytail and go with the bare minimum of make-up. If I had any more crying jags like the night before, I wouldn't have to look like a raccoon when my mascara started to smear.

Walking out into the kitchen, I grabbed my cell and quickly dialed Connie's phone number with one hand, while opening the fridge to find something for Rex and me to eat.

"Where are you?" Connie groused, when the phone connected. "Vinnie's having a coronary you aren't here already, and Lula is chomping at the bit to get breakfast."

"I'm not coming in today," I answered, tossing a couple of carrots into Rex's cage. I contemplated whether eating leftover chocolate cake from my mother would constitute a healthy start to the day.

"_What!" _Connie exclaimed. "Why not? We've got whole new batch of FTA's that came in last night needing attention. Are you all right? Are you still in pain from yesterday's take-down?"

I thought about lying, but found I couldn't do it. "No," I said. "I've got some personal things I need to take care of today-maybe even a couple of days. I'll be back when I can."

"Personal things?" Connie sounded doubtful. And then she laughed. "What—like screwing Officer Hottie? Or wait—" She dropped her voice. "Ranger?"

Hearing her say both of their names in the same sentence was like a kick to the stomach. It reminded me again I'd been loose with my morals of late with entirely too much bed jumping. I needed for it to stop one-way or the other; otherwise, I wasn't going to be able to look at myself in the mirror much longer.

"No. It's not that. I just have a lot to think about."

"Well, Vinnie is going to shit when I tell him. You'd better do some fast thinking before he decides to hire someone else. You did take a week off not too long ago," she reminded me.

"I know. Tell Vinnie I promise to be back no later than Monday. I just need this weekend to get some things straightened out."

Connie must have sensed I was struggling, because her voice lowered again. "Steph, are you okay?"

I could feel tears forming, and I quickly cleared my throat. "Yeah, I'll be okay. Talk with you later. Why don't you let Lula try a couple of the easy skips on her own? She can handle it."

"Okay. Talk with you later."

I had no sooner disconnected when I could hear the rumble of Morelli's Ducati rolling into the parking lot of my apartment building. Despite the dread I was feeling about this day, I couldn't help but feel a little excitement at the thought of getting to ride on the bike. I _loved _Joe's motorcycle. It was usually a fight to get him to take me on it, so I could only assume he'd meant it when he'd said not to be afraid. I was so excited it even pushed thoughts of chocolate cake from my mind-an unheard of notion.

Grabbing my jean jacket, I stuffed my keys and a tube of lip-gloss into the pocket and dashed out the door. Too anxious to get on the bike, I ignored the elevator, ran down the stairs and out front to where Morelli was waiting. He was sitting there, clad in a brown leather jacket with his helmet in his hands, hair all disheveled and a huge, sexy grin on his face.

"Hey, Cupcake." He reached for my hand, pulling me closer to place a soft kiss on my lips. "Sleep okay?"

"Sure," I lied, picking up the passenger helmet hanging on the back of the motorcycle and pulling it over my head.

"Yeah right." He tapped his hand against the helmet, while slipping his own back over his head. I could hear him now over the VOX speaker. "You probably got about as much sleep as I did."

He used the hand he was still holding to help me onto the bike. "It's supposed to be nice all day. I thought we both deserved a ride in the fresh air to clear our heads."

"What are we doing anyway?" I asked curiously. Slipping my arms loosely around his waist beneath his jacket, I could feel the warmth of his body and couldn't help feel a little tingle between my legs. I watched him release the clutch, give the throttle a little juice and move the Ducati out into traffic. _Both the bike and the man were too damn sexy!_

"Well…" There was something incredibly intimate about hearing his voice yet not seeing his face. "Another epiphany I had on that long flight home was the fact I haven't treated right in another important way."

"What are you talking about, Morelli—"

"It's Joe, okay? Please? I want you to try and start thinking about our relationship in at least slightly more intimate terms."

"What I call you never seemed to be an issue before," I shot back.

"And when it was all just fun and games, I didn't really care," he returned evenly. "But, I'm _way _beyond that now. I'm too much in love with you, and I've allowed myself to be played a fool long enough. I'm ready to lay everything on the line and see who's left standing in the end."

"This isn't some sort of contest, you know," I said with an edge to my voice. What was it about this man that could make me see red faster than anyone else?

"You're right, it's not," Joe agreed, "although you'd make the ultimate grand prize. We're not in high school anymore, Stephanie. I'm a grown man, who's built himself out of _nothing _to become a respectable, professional person. Why do I even have to justify this to you? I'm simply asking you to call me by my first name. Is it really such a difficult thing to do?"

My anger deflated. He was right; it wasn't too much to ask of me. And he was right last night when he suggested I call him Morelli in order to create some sort of detachment with him. It was the same with Ranger. Not calling either of them by their first names gave me a weird sense of being in control of both relationships. The less intimacy I allowed, the easier it was for me to be my own person—to come and go as I pleased.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "Really—about a lot of things. I—"

"Let's talk later," Joe cut me off again, not unkindly. "We need to be face-to-face for _that_ conversation. To answer your initial question as to what we're doing today, I have to finish telling you about my second epiphany on the plane. I got to thinking about all that's good between us. Obviously the sex is a _huge_ part, but there's so much more. We both don't have these over-the-top expectations of one another. We're happy to stay at home, watch TV, eat take-out, you know, stuff like that. But because of it, I've never romanced you. We've never taken the time to date, and I've hardly done anything that would be considered special for you."

"That's not true," I immediately defended him. I didn't like how he kept putting himself down, especially when I was the one who had really fouled everything up. Feeling guilty was a solo-shot deal as far as I was concerned.

"Quit interrupting, and I'll tell you what we're going to do," Joe teased, reaching his hand back to pinch my ass. "Today we're going on a date."

"We are?" I couldn't help the little bubble of excitement in me. "Does it involve food?"

Joe's warm laugh through the headset shot an arrow of heat right through my body. "It involves tons of food, I promise-as much as you want."

"Good, because you arrived before I could finish off the chocolate cake, and I'm STARVED."

"I racked my brain trying to think of what would be the perfect date for Stephanie Plum. Should I go all out with a romantic dinner followed by dancing—a picnic and a movie—take you shopping and spend tons of money on you?"

Those were _all _good ideas as far as I was concerned—especially the shopping. "What'd you decide?" I asked.

"Our first real date had to be extra special. Something perfect for you and me."

"So what's it going to be?" I moved my hands up and down his sides in anticipation.

"Careful," Joe ran one of his hands down the side of my leg. "Don't get too worked up, or we'll wipe out."

By now I could see we had reached the I-95 entrance ramp to New York City. "Are we going into the City for something?" I asked hopefully. I _loved _New York City, but I couldn't imagine Joe taking his precious Ducati there.

"Sort of." Joe was killing me with anticipation. "We're headed to Queens."

"Queens?" I repeated somewhat bewilderedly, and then it hit me. "Oh my God! Are we going to see the Mets?"

"Yeah. I friend of mine with the NYPD owed me big, so I took advantage of it. He was able to hook us up with some great seats behind third base. It's an afternoon play-off game against the Phillies."

I practically bounced in my seat behind Joe. "Stephanie, watch it!" He cautioned, grabbing my leg again.

I was _beyond _astounded. While every other suggestion Morelli had mentioned sounded great, it hit me just how well he really did know me. I love sports-particularly the Mets. And play-off tickets! Sitting outside on a beautiful day, watching baseball with a gorgeous man beside me was the _perfect_ date. I only wished I felt a little more deserving of it. The way he kept brushing off my desire to apologize was actually hurting rather than helping.

Settling in to enjoy the ride, I pressed my body against Joe's back and smiled when he placed one of his hands over where the two of mine were clasped around his waist.

It struck me I was happier in that moment than I'd been during my entire trip to Hawaii. Now _that _was something to ponder.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Four<p>

I was about ready to gnaw my off my arm by the time we reached Shea Stadium, and knew Joe was going to have to fork over a bundle to satisfy my hunger. I still couldn't believe he'd allowed us to bring his precious Ducati all the way into the city. That is until I found out the game tickets came with a reserved parking place right next to the stadium.

Taking my hand, he led me to our seats and sought out several vendors to quickly supply me with food. After two hot dogs, a couple of beers, a bag of peanuts, a giant pretzel and half of Joe's nachos, I was feeling slightly ill, but in 7th Heaven. The sights and smells of the ballpark meshed perfectly with the sight and smell of Joe sitting next to me, creating a delicious combination that left me completely enchanted.

When my nose started getting sunburned, he bought me a Mets hat and gave me a kiss as he pulled my ponytail through the hole in the back. A little later he bought a teddy bear wearing a Mets jersey and holding a baseball bat as a memento of our day together. While we are both big fans and were really into the game, Joe never let me forget—whether it was with a look or a well-timed touch—that he was sharing it all with me.

After the Mets won 4-3 in an incredible 9th inning rally, we headed back to the bike. Joe had his arm draped over my shoulder as we walked, in no particular hurry. He pulled me closer and spoke low against my ear. "Hungry?"

Elbowing him lightly in the ribs, I retorted, "And when have you ever known me not to be?"

"My buddy that gave us the tickets told me there's a great Brazilian steakhouse nearby, or I know of a really good barbecue place on the way home."

"Definitely barbecue," I smiled. "I can wait a _little_ bit to eat."

It didn't take long to get to the restaurant which was really nothing more than a hole in the wall. I looked at Joe rather dubiously when we walked into the incredibly dark and dingy building, but stopped worrying once I smelled the _amazing _aromas coming from the kitchen. We found a seat in a corner booth, and I laughed when he slid in next to me and said, "I better sit right here beside you; otherwise I might not be able to see you." He wasted no time in placing his hand on my thigh.

After placing an order for two platters of ribs and pulled pork, Joe leaned his head against the back of the booth and asked lazily, "You having fun, Cupcake?"

I reached beneath the table and took his hand. "The _best _date I've ever had."

"Well I hate to take a chance on ruining it, but do you mind if I ask a question?"

I'm sure Joe could feel my body tense next to him, but I tried to answer nonchalantly. "Go ahead."

He seemed to take a minute to think of how to phrase the question. "Do you ever get worried about me?"

"What do you mean?" He had caught me off guard.

"I mean when you know I'm working. Do you ever worry about me getting hurt?"

I scrunched up my forehead, still unsure of his intent. "Not really."

"Why is that? Don't you care about what happens to me?" he joked lightly.

"Of course I care." I answered, still mystified. He had me coming and going with all of these crazy questions and epiphanies!

"So why don't you worry?" he persisted.

Obviously he wasn't going to drop the subject. "Probably because I know you're well-trained and competent at what you do, and I trust the people backing you up."

Instantly I knew where he was going with this line of questioning, and I could feel the same old frustrations building in my chest. "I know what you're doing, _Morelli_."

Joe laughed. "So we're back to Morelli. Hear me out before you bite my head off, okay? When you started working for Vinnie and tried to bring me in—"

"I DID bring you in."

"Still you have to admit you didn't have a clue as to what you were doing. I'm not sure if I spent more time worrying about getting myself cleared of a murder charge or about _you_ getting murdered."

"This is old news," I grumbled.

"I gave you a hard time early on because of the very reasons you've indicated you don't worry about me. You _weren't_ trained; you _weren't_ competent; and I surely couldn't trust the people backing you up. _But_—" he paused dramatically.

"But—?"

"I think you've been judging _me_ unfairly for quite awhile now."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I don't think you've taken the time to notice we've both changed. I still can't say I'm thrilled with who mentored you." He grimaced at the mention of Ranger, "But there's no question you've become more competent at what you do. _And_ as much as I worry about your crazy antics with Lula, the two of you seem to provide one another pretty damn good back-up in your own bizarre ways."

I frowned even more. "You're saying you think I'm capable?"

Joe leaned over and slowly ran his tongue across my lips seeking entry to my mouth. "Very."

_His mouth felt so good! _I forced myself to push him back a bit. "Then why do you always give me so much grief?"

Joe shook his head. "I haven't given you grief in a long time. I still tease you a lot, but I don't tell you need to get a new job."

He lowered his voice until it was a husky murmur and began running kisses from the base of my neck up to my ear. "I still worry about your safety, but it's not because I don't think you're capable. It's because I love you, Stephanie. When you have insane people with names like Razzle Dazzle coming after you all the time, how can I not be concerned?"

I tried to think, which was difficult with Joe so close to me, but I had to admit what he was saying was true. I couldn't remember the last time he'd told me to get a new job.

"I hope if the situation was reversed, you'd be concerned for me," he teased while nibbling on my earlobe. "It's nice knowing someone cares if you live or die."

I was fast losing any capacity for thought. Joe shifted his body in order to block the view of anyone who might be watching us. He slowly slid the hand resting on my thigh over my waist, along my ribcage and up to cup my breast. Lifting his lips from my ear, he looked into my eyes and gently moved his thumb across my nipple through the shirt. "Do you care about me, Stephanie?" His eyes were at half-mast and dark with desire.

"Of – of course I care," I stuttered half-heartedly. I couldn't have cared less about this conversation any longer. I only wanted him to finish the fire he'd started building in my body. "Joe, please—"

"Here you go," a perky voice cut in, as I was about to beg Joe to take me somewhere—_anywhere_—as long as we could be alone. It was the waitress with our orders. Joe nonchalantly moved away from me and turned toward the girl, who couldn't have been more than sixteen. "Thanks." He smiled, and I swear the girl had an orgasm on the spot. _Well get in line, sister!_

He switched his attention back to me and gave me an even sexier smile. "Eat up, Steph. We still have a long ride back home."

_Was he seriously going to leave me this way? _I was sitting there in wet panties, and he was going to eat barbecue? My eyes narrowed. Just what kind of game was Morelli playing anyway? Was this some kind of sadistic revenge because I'd been with Ranger? Was he purposefully trying to get me all twisted up over him only to break things off?

Joe must have seen my brain working overtime, because he leaned over and gave me a kiss, saying, "Don't think I don't want to lay you down right here on this bench and love every each of your beautiful body, Cupcake. But I doubt it would go over very well with management, do you?" He laughed. "Let's enjoy the rest of our date, okay?" Trying subtly to adjust his pants, he gave me a wicked wink.

And just like that the tension was diffused, although my confusion remained. The rest of the meal was spent talking about nothing of importance and soon we were back on the road to Trenton. The evening air was cool, and I found myself snuggling up against Joe's back for warmth. He, in turn, kept one hand on my thigh the entire ride, massaging the muscles beneath my blue jeans. We didn't say much, but it was a comfortable silence. We both seemed content to simply be together.

It was after nine o'clock when the Ducati rolled into the parking lot of my apartment building. Joe stopped the bike and helped me get off before he did. I suddenly felt nervous—something I'd rarely felt with him. "Are you coming up?" I asked, hooking my helmet to the back of the bike. Part of me wanted him to say no, so I wouldn't have to deal with the conversation I knew we still needed to have.

He studied me for a moment, seemingly contemplating what to do. "You tell me, Steph. What do you want?"

I thought for a minute, and then answered honestly, "I want to be able to remember this day as one of the best I've ever had. Thank you for making it such a special date, Joe." He smiled when I said his name. "I'd like to tell you to come up and put out this fire you've got started inside my body, but I also know there's a conversation we've been avoiding—"

"Tomorrow."

"Huh?"

Joe reached out and cupped my neck with his hand, drawing me between his legs. "Tomorrow's Sunday. What do you say we have dinner at your parents, and then we'll come back here and have that conversation? I'm not trying to put it off, but there were other things we needed to do first. You're right about today though-it was the perfect date with the perfect woman. I only want to think about that tonight."

I couldn't help but smile. "You mean you're _volunteering _to eat with my family?"

He returned the smile. "I love your family. You should know that by now. They're crazy, but then who in the Burg isn't?"

Tracing a finger across my cheek, he leaned in to kiss me. Like the night before, the kisses were deep and slow and incredibly intimate, but for some reason I found myself actually craving the contact rather than being threatened by it. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and lost myself to the feeling. For several minutes it continued, until we were both breathing heavily and Joe broke away.

"I'm not coming up," he announced quietly. "You're probably starting to think I'm playing games with you, but I swear I'm not. I slept with you when we got back from Hawaii, and truthfully I'm not sure why I did. I think I was angry and hurt about discovering you with Ranger, and I needed to prove to myself I could still make you want me."

"Joe, I—"

"Let me finish." He held up his hand. "I do know I'm done sharing you with any other man. If once we work our way through all of this you decide you don't want me, it'll destroy me, but I _will_ move on. I can't do it this way anymore. I respect both of us too much to settle for anything less than a real relationship. What kind of relationship that'll be, I'm still not sure, but I do know it won't be one that's three-way."

Once again I was swamped with guilt over how I'd hurt him. I didn't even know how to respond.

"If you're ready to talk about Ranger tomorrow, I'll listen. But I don't want any excuses, and I don't want you to sugarcoat it for me. So be sure you spend tonight and tomorrow thinking about exactly what it is you want me to hear. Capiche?"

"I understand," I replied softly. "Thanks again for today, Joe. "

He handed me my ball cap and the teddy bear that'd been locked in the storage compartment of the bike. With one last peck on the cheek, he said, "I'll pick you up at 5:45. Wouldn't want to keep your dad waiting." He revved the bike a couple of times and was off into the night.

I sighed, knowing another sleepless night lay ahead of me and that I deserved it.


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Five<p>

"Did you tell your mom I was coming?" Joe asked, as we pulled up in front of my parent's house the following night right at six o'clock.

"No, but I think you just announced it to the whole neighborhood," I responded nervously. He had surprised me once again by picking me up in the Ducati, and I was sure the rumble of our arrival could be heard for several blocks. We'd barely spoken on the way over from my apartment. I'm not sure what made me feel more like throwing up—the idea of having to be subjected to my family's speculation as to Joe's presence at dinner or the reality he and I were finally going to discuss my relationship with Ranger afterward.

I'd spent practically all of last night and today trying to work out what exactly to tell him. Almost forty-eight hours with limited sleep was taking a toll on me mentally, and I'm sure I looked just as bad, although I hadn't taken the time to look too closely in the mirror. My mother would probably have a conniption over my appearance.

"What was I thinking when I agreed to have dinner here tonight?" I groaned.

Joe grinned as he took my hand and led me up the path to the front door. "Well since I can see both your mother and grandmother peeking through the front curtains, there's no time to turn back. Wait, I think I smell fried chicken." He began to drag me behind him. "I _love _your mother's fried chicken. Hurry up!"

The door opened and Grandma Mazur appeared in the doorway. "Isn't this something? Look who's here for dinner—it's Stephanie _and_ Officer Hot Buns. Is she in trouble with the law, Officer, 'cause she's been awfully naughty lately. Isn't that right, Stephanie?" Grandma winked at me.

I chose to ignore her and walked into the dining room followed closely by Joe. My mother was hurriedly adding a place setting to the table and frantically looking at the clock. It was now six p.m. It would be mere moments before my father entered the room and said—

"Where's dinner, it's six o'clock."

_Too late_. I smiled at my father and said nervously, "Hey, Dad. Sorry about dinner being a couple of minutes late. But look who I found on the street! You remember Joe, don't you?" Both my father and Joe looked at me like I was crazy. I gave an anxious giggle. "Well, of course you do—that was silly." _Good grief._

My mother gave me the evil eye. "Joseph, it's always a pleasure to have you at our table. Everyone please take a seat. Stephanie and I will be right back with the food." She jerked her head toward the kitchen, making sure I followed her.

"What is he doing here?" she hissed as soon as we entered her sacred domain. She hastily picked up the platter of chicken and motioned for me to grab the bowls of mashed potatoes and green beans.

"What do you mean?" I asked as nonchalantly as possible. I picked up the bowls and somehow managed to balance a basket of rolls on my forearm as well.

"What do you mean what do _I _mean. You're the one who just got back from a week in Hawaii with that Ranger character. You're the one who sat here in this kitchen barely a week ago and told me you were "off men" again. I remember, Stephanie. I sat here and got drunk listening to you! And what is wrong with you anyway? You look pale. Are you sick?"

"Never mind," I muttered. We scowled at one another, made our way back into the dining room and _thunked_ the dishes down onto the table.

Ever the gracious Burg hostess, my mother slid gracefully into her seat, whisked her napkin off the table onto her lap, and said, "Frank, shall we begin?"

My father quickly filled his plate, hunched his body over and started eating. The rest of us followed suit and for several uncomfortable minutes all that could be heard was the scraping of silverware against the dishes. I glanced at Joe out of the corner of my eye, expecting him to be in agony, but to my surprise, he seemed perfectly relaxed. He must have caught me peeking because he slid his hand beneath the table and gave my knee a reassuring squeeze. _Oh dear God, let this meal hurry up before anything embarrassing gets said!_

"What do you think of Stephanie's Hawaiian tan?" Grandma Mazur asked as she reached for a roll. I immediately choked on a piece of fried chicken and started coughing. Everyone ignored me. "Of course now that she's been back a couple of weeks, it's starting to fade, but if you look real closely, you can still see a ring line on her finger. I guess that wasn't what you were expecting to find when I told you which resort she was staying at, huh. I bet it came as a real surprise to you. I bet—"

"Mother," _my _mother warned with gritted teeth. To the rest of us, she said, "Who'd like some wine? Wouldn't a nice Chardonnay go well with the chicken, Frank?"

My father grunted, completely oblivious to anything but his dinner.

I could feel Joe tense momentarily next to me, but then just as quickly he seemed to purposefully relax his posture. He cleared his throat awkwardly and said, "Yeah, it was a real surprise alright. Kind of hard to imagine Stephanie with a ring on her finger, isn't it? Wish I'd thought of it myself."

_What! _I whipped my head to the side to look at Joe and could see a wicked gleam in his eye. My mother and Grandma Mazur unfortunately did not, and instead they pounced upon his words.

"Ha! I knew it!" Grandma crowed. "I knew you had it in you, Joe. You're enough of a Morelli to want to stake your claim."

_Stake his claim? What the fuck!_

"Are you saying you'd like to put a ring on Stephanie's finger?" My mother was trying not to look desperate and failing miserably. She'd about lost hope I'd ever settle down and live the life _she_ dreamed for me.

"Hmmm…you never know." Joe teased, picking up my hand and placing a sensual kiss across my knuckles. His chocolate brown eyes captured mine, and he smiled dangerously.

_My_ eyes narrowed until they were nothing but slits. What kind of bullshit was this?

"Good Lord that was sexy. Did you see the way he just kissed her hand, Helen? I think I just creamed my Depends!" Grandma cried, leaping up from the table. "Stephanie, if you don't snatch this boy up soon, I'm going to fight you for him. I've still got a little kick left in me, Joseph. I bet I could handle an Italian stud like you!" She patted his shoulder as she rounded the table. "Now don't say anything good until I come back from changing my underwear!"

My father looked up to watch Grandma climb the stairs, noticed Joe with his lips still on my hand, and my mother's eyes lit up like the 4th of July. "Where's dessert?" he asked.

I stood up and dropped Joe's hand. "I'm so sorry to eat and run, Mom, but Joe and I have important business to take care of."

"Right now? What about dessert?" My mother was devastated. "I want to hear more about the ring."

"Nope. Right now. Let's go, _Morelli_."

Joe laughed and stood up as well. "Mrs. Plum, it's always a pleasure to eat at your table. You're the best cook in the Burg." He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Thank you."

My mother looked as though she was about to cream her panties too. "At least let me get you some leftovers and dessert to go," she insisted, drool practically coming out of her mouth. _Damn, Morelli and his Italian charm!_

She was only gone a moment before returning with a sack full of food. "Come again when you can stay longer, Joseph. We can talk some more about your plans. Frank, Stephanie and Joseph are leaving."

Surprisingly my father actually stopped eating long enough to look Joe straight in the eye and say rather gruffly, "Be good to her, Morelli."

Equally as shocking, Joe reached out and shook my father's hand. "Without a doubt, sir."

And that was it. We were out the door and heading back to the Ducati just as fast as my legs could carry me.

"You'll have to hold the bag," Joe said as we strapped on helmets and climbed aboard the bike. "There isn't enough room in the storage compartment."

"DO NOT speak to me right now, _Morelli_." I hissed over the VOX speaker. I could see Joe's shoulders shaking with laughter as he fired up the bike and pulled away from the curb.

The short ride back to my apartment was completed in silence while I seethed inwardly. Just what kind of crazy game was he playing anyway? First he asks for my forgiveness about ancient history. Then he whisks me away on the most amazing date of my life. _Then _he hints to my family he'd like to put a ring on my finger. And all the while I KNOW he's pissed about Ranger. I was starting to wonder if maybe he really _was_ trying to exact some twisted form of revenge against me.

Joe stopped the motorcycle in the lot of my apartment building and the air around us became eerily quiet. He slid off the bike, took off his helmet, and I could see he still had a smile playing about his mouth. "Steph—"

"What the fuck was that all about, Morelli!" I blasted, shoving the bag of leftovers into his stomach so I could take off my own helmet. "Did you purposefully suggest we have dinner at my parent's tonight, so you could embarrass me?"

"Of course not!" he laughed. _He was laughing at me! _"How was I to know your grandmother was going to bring up Hawaii?"

"For all I know you two could have cooked the whole thing up together!" I headed for the front door of the complex with Joe trailing two steps behind. "Perhaps you have my parents in on it too. Are you trying to railroad me into some kind of commitment, so you can turn around and say 'Oops, so sorry—no can do.' Is this whole set-up this weekend some kind of sicko revenge on your part?"

"That's just plain stupid, and you know it," he responded. His expression quickly turned to a cross between anger and disgust as we rode the elevator to my apartment. "I told you I'm not playing games. I suggested we go because I _like_ your family. Your mom is a fantastic cook, and it meant I could spend more time with you. I'm trying to work things out here, Stephanie. You know damn well I was put in an awkward position back there. What was I supposed to say? 'Yes, Grandma Mazur, it was devastating to fly ten plus hours to Hawaii, thinking I'm going to surprise the woman of my dreams only to find her in a fucking tryst with another man!'"

And just like that another dagger of guilt stabbed through my heart and silenced my anger. I paused outside the door to my apartment and took a deep breath. "It all keeps coming back to Ranger, doesn't it?" I said softly, peeking up at Joe.

He sighed and leaned against the wall dejectedly. "Yeah, it does. I guess we can't put it off any longer, Cupcake. Let's go in and have that talk."


	6. Chapter 6

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Six<p>

We entered the apartment in silence. Joe immediately went to the couch and slouched down against the cushions, feet flat on the ground. His arms were crossed defensively across his chest, and I could see the tension building in his body language.

Taking time to compose myself, I slowly unpacked the bag of leftovers and put them in the fridge. I noticed my mother had sent homemade chocolate pudding in a big Tupperware bowl, and for one insane moment, I couldn't help but wish things were the way they used to be between Morelli and me. I knew he would have appreciated my smearing some of that pudding over his body and licking it off. _Who was I kidding-I would too._

I lingered in the kitchen long enough to give Rex some fresh water and a couple of Saltine crackers before finally making my way into the living room to join Joe on the couch. We both sat there looking at each other uncomfortably. Eventually I said, "I don't know where to begin."

He exhaled loudly. "I guess the best place is at the beginning. But before you do, I've got three things to say, okay?" He waited for me to nod.

"The first is as much as I'd like to say I won't, I can't promise I'm not going to get pissed off and yell at some point during this conversation. I'm Italian, my pride has taken a huge beating and my self-image has pretty much been fucked over completely—not to mention the fact I feel like an idiot for having let this go on for so long."

"Understood. Number two?"

"A reminder I want the whole truth—no matter how difficult it may be."

"And the third?"

He reached across the cushion separating us on the couch and grabbed my hand. "I want us both to remember I love you."

I squeezed his fingers and moved my hand away. It struck me how in all of the years I'd known Joe Morelli, I'd never heard him talk as much as during the past three days. Neither of us was into deep soul-searching or involved conversations. We were used to bantering and flirting and fighting-but not intimacy. Perhaps we'd both been hurt so much in our individual lives we felt safer with only the superficial. I don't know. I did know our comfortable ways of communication weren't going to work any longer. It was time for serious talking.

Gathering my courage, I said, "You already know when I first signed on with Vinnie as a bounty hunter Connie recommended I work with Ranger to learn some skills. "My first assignment was to hunt for you, and I think you already know you had me running both physically and emotionally. I was trying so hard to learn the job, and yet I was dealing with all of this pent up anger and sexual frustration over what had happened between us all those years ago."

"Go on."

"I didn't know what to make of you. My mind was simply filled with you, and I really didn't have many thoughts about Ranger other than the fact he was pretty damn scary and he was watching my back."

Joe nodded. "I was messed up back then too. Here I was trying to figure out how the hell I was going to clear my name of that murder charge, when one day I opened a door and there stood the one woman who no matter how hard I tried to forget over the years could not be erased from my mind. I sort of had a love/hate thing going on with you."

"You hated me?" I don't know why that surprised me. I guess I thought I was the only one who had felt such loathing.

"Well shit, Stephanie, even though I probably deserved it that little stunt you pulled with your dad's Buick put me in rehab for six months! I had to delay my start at the police academy and, when all was said and done, the career I'd been dreaming about was put on hold for almost a year."

"I'm not feeling the need to apologize," I remarked dryly. "You were _scum, _Morelli. I suppose you also hated me for sleeping with you all those years ago."

The conversation took a sensual turn for a moment. Joe's eyes turned liquid brown when he looked at me. "I could _never_ have hated you for that. You were unbelievable, Cupcake—sweet, tight and so goddamn innocent. You were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I'd _never _felt like that in my life, and it scared the hell out of me. After I left for basic training, I couldn't get you out of my mind. For two years I bedded anything with breasts to try and erase the memory of how you felt beneath me that night."

I was stunned. Joe had never even hinted he'd thought of me over those years other than in derogatory terms. He gave a self-deprecating laugh and continued, "As much as you think I had you twisted up when we met again, I was in just as bad of shape—if not worse. When I opened the door the day you first found me, it was like my subconscious took one look at you and said 'Well hello. Where have you been all these years? I've been waiting for you.' And that REALLY scared the shit out of me!"

Joe shook himself from the memory. "Anyway, back to you and Ranger. When did things change?"

I forced myself to think back. "For a long time it was nothing more than random and harmless flirting. For whatever reason, I amuse Ranger."

"Well you are definitely amusing at times," Joe agreed, rolling his eyes.

I stuck out my tongue and continued, "When Lula came to work for Vinnie she started in with this whole business about Ranger being like Batman. No one knew where he lived or what he did—stuff like that. He was mysterious."

"That's because he doesn't want anyone to know what all kinds of illegal shit he's up to half the time," Joe muttered disgustedly.

I ignored him. "Lula kept baiting me about both of you. You're obviously both incredibly handsome and sexy men, and my libido was in constant overdrive from having been abstinent for such a long time after Dickie."

Joe's mouth dropped and he held up his palm. "Hold up. You're saying you hadn't had sex since you were married to Dickhead?"

I raised an eyebrow. "It may be hard to believe, Morelli, given our past history and the poor judgment I've used of late, but I'm not a slut."

"I never said you were. You just surprised me that's all." He looked dazed. "Really? All that time?"

"_Anyway,_" I narrowed my eyes at him. "I was thinking more and more about making a move again."

"What do you mean _again_?"

"We'd already had some incredible sex when I was staying at your place those few days after my apartment was firebombed, remember?"

His eyes went incredibly dark. "How could I forget?"

After you insulted me with the whole "redesigning my kitchen" argument, I thought it best to steer clear of you for awhile."

"I'll admit I was a jerk that morning, but you couldn't stay away, could you? You wanted me _bad,_" he smirked in typical Morelli fashion.

Ignoring him, I continued, "You and I were still dancing around one another, and Ranger was throwing out all kinds of confusing signals. Which brings me back to my thinking about making a move. Remember the night we got back together again?"

"The night of the infamous black dress? Hell yes—it was one of the most amazing nights of my life."

"To be perfectly honest I put both of your names in a bowl and picked a name out randomly."

"What!" Joe practically jumped off the couch.

"Relax. The truth is I cheated. I peeked, so I'd be sure to draw your name."

"Seriously?"

"As a heart attack."

"Well thank God!"

"Back then you were all I could think of. The sex was amazing-_you_ were amazing."

"As were you." There was an uncomfortable pause while we both thought about how it'd been in the beginning. "So what changed?"

This was getting harder. "We both did."

"I didn't change."

"Yeah, you did—everything changed. People started looking at us as a couple. My mother practically had china patterns picked out for us. Your mother and Grandma Bella scared the crap out of me with all of their questions and crazy visions. And you—"

"What about me?"

"You became so, I don't know, domesticated. You had a house, a yard and a dog—"

"What's wrong with a house, a yard and a dog?"

"Nothing, if you want to live the life of the Burg—but _I don't!_ The one thing that's always been consistent about me my entire life, Morelli, is my lack of conformity. I do _not _want to be my mother."

"Who asked you to be your mother?" Joe asked in genuine confusion.

"You did."

"Bullshit." His voice rose slightly.

"Everyone had these assumptions about us, and I think you started buying into them. You started fighting me harder and harder about remaining a bounty hunter. You were caving in to the pressure and wanting me to become like all of the other women we know in our lives."

"You're dead wrong."

"I don't think I am. You asked me what I thought went wrong in the relationship, and I'm simply telling you. Stop being pissy."

"Pissy?" I could see the old Morelli—the dangerous street kid—coming to light. "I'm being accused of trying to force you into being some kind of Stepford wife, and you see that as pissy? I have NEVER said I wanted you to be like our mothers. God help us if you were! You're just using that as an excuse to cover up the fact you were afraid of your feelings for me."

"Now who's crazy?"

I could see Joe battling for control of his emotions. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. In a slightly lower voice he said, "Let's try to get this conversation back on track. So I'm assuming Ranger didn't remind you of the Burg, thus he became more and more appealing, correct?"

I leaned my head against the back of the sofa. "It was a huge part of it, but I can't lie to you. I _was_ afraid of the feelings you were stirring in me. Your track record with me personally and by virtue of simply being a Morelli wasn't the best. I was afraid to trust you for fear you'd hurt me again."

"So you're saying my past caused you to cheat? That's lame, Steph."

"No!" I protested in frustration. "I'm saying Ranger and I had zero history, zero pre-conceived notions and zero expectations of one another. Being with him gave me a sense of having control of my life—control I lost the more involved we became. Hell, you even gave me a half-assed proposal at one point, or did you manage to forget that little detail. How was I not supposed to think you wanted the Burg life reincarnated?"

"You could have asked me." Joe said quietly. "You could have talked to me and told me all of the things you were feeling. I would have listened. And I would have made sure you knew you were wrong about every single thing you were thinking."

"_Talk_ with you? We don't have that kind of relationship, Morelli. We have S.E.X. remember! Copious amounts of sex, but not much else beyond it, food and television. Wasn't that what you were lamenting about just yesterday? Remember the whole 'I should have taken you out on more dates' speech?"

"Now who's getting pissy," he shot back, the anger he was trying so hard to hold in check about to boil. "And quit trying to manipulate the conversation. So what we have so far is Ranger is Batman reincarnated; he has no expectations of you, which makes him appealing, and being with him makes you feel in control. Am I right?"

"You make it sound as though it was a calculated decision on my part, and it wasn't. Things just happened. _Our_ relationship—yours and mine—was becoming more complicated. Ranger sensed my indecision, and the flirting escalated. It kept building and—"

I could see the jealousy flaring and said quietly, "It wasn't just Ranger, Joe. I wish I could make it sound like he took advantage of me, but he didn't. I'm a big girl, and if I'd truly been happy in the relationship we had, I would never have slept with him the first time. After that it was a long time until I did it again, because you and I were back together. That's important for you to understand. I _never _slept with him when you and I were together." _Well except for last week..._

"That's supposed to make me feel better?" he asked incredulously. "In all of the times we took a break, neither one of us ever said it was completely over. NEVER. You know damn well if it had been, there would have been a lot more discussion, a hell of a lot more yelling and a sense of finality. It was never like that."

"Perhaps," I agreed somewhat reluctantly.

"Tell me, Stephanie," Joe said sarcastically, "how would you feel if you knew I'd been sleeping with another woman when we were in the supposed "off again" stage of our relationship."

"I've always assumed you have." I replied hastily, not quite able to look him in the eye. The thought of Joe with another woman was a direct hit to my heart, and if I were honest with myself, I'd admit I would have known if Joe had been with another woman.

"_Really,_" he drawled. "I find it hard to believe you would be so easy going about something like that, seeing as I know how jealous you've gotten in the past over other woman you've even _thought _I might be interested in—erroneously I might add. Like Terry Gilman for example."

"Terry Gilman is a fucking whore," I said through gritted teeth.

Joe laughed in disbelief. "Look how upset you get when I even mention her name! What if every time we were on the outs, I turned to her because she's easy, and I knew she wouldn't require any emotional commitment from me? How would you feel?"

"You can't tell me in all of the time we've been together, Morelli, whether it be on again or off again, you've never been with another woman." I said derisively.

Joe looked me dead in the eye. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Oh, please—you're a Morell!"

"Exactly! Don't you think I haven't heard my _entire _life about what a Morelli man is supposed to be—a drunk, a thug, a womanizer, and a cheater? Hell, I'll even admit I was on a fast track in high school toward becoming a lot of those things."

Joe ran a frustrated hand through his long hair. Despite the anger between us, my hand ached to do the same. I couldn't believe I could still be so incredibly turned on by him in the midst of such tension.

He continued, "I told you about Coach Delaney saying he saw something worthwhile in me. He was the first person in my life to ever give a damn enough about me to make me stop and think about my future. I came out of the Navy a changed person, Stephanie. I became a man. Yes, I still loved chasing women. What heterosexual man doesn't? But I was self-driven to be someone who could be respected—by my family, by my community and I think in some bizarre, subconscious way _by you_."

Joe reached for my hand. "I know it's hard for you to trust, but I don't lie to you. I haven't been with _any_ other woman since the moment I opened the door to that apartment three years ago."

I looked deep into those dark eyes and could see the truth staring back at me. _All of that time?_ _Dear God! _How could I have misread and misinterpreted so much? How could I have been so selfish to not even talk with him about my feelings before running to someone else?

Joe was shaking his head, disgusted with how he'd allowed himself to be used. "I've been such an idiot," he said.

I gave a bitter laugh and said without thinking, "That's what Ranger said to me just a few days ago. "He said you're a good cop, but an idiot for letting him get close to me." _Oops-too much information, Stephanie!_

Joe glared at me. "I knew immediately the first time you were with him. You can't help but know when someone's cheating on you. I should have confronted you right then and there. But we were back together and things were good again for awhile—at least sort of."

"What do you mean sort of?"

Joe looked uncomfortable. "As you've said, so much of our relationship has been about sex. And the sex _was _still good. It just wasn't _as_ good. You know what I mean? I was hurt and angry and jealous, and every time I was with you I battled the desire to punish you for what you'd done with the desire to grab a hold of you and never let go. I've been so scared of losing you. My head and heart are never totally in the right place whenever we're together in bed."

"Mine either," I admitted. "I wish I'd confessed to you after the first time," I admitted. "I could tell our being together wasn't the same, which is partially what made Ranger's appeal even stronger. I don't mean to hurt you, because I know what an amazing lover you are, Joe. But being with Ranger had no ties, no demands and everything was uncomplicated—even the sex. And that was exciting."

"So what was the whole deal with Hawaii?"

I took a deep breath and continued. "I had those two tickets, and I debated which of you to ask. Only it really wasn't a debate. Just like the first time, I already knew in my mind I wanted it to be you. And you're the one I asked. I was upset when you said you had to work. Lately it seems like work has been more important to you than anything else—especially me. You're gone all the damn time. It's one more reason why Ranger's interest was magnetic. I didn't have to fight for his attention."

Joe slumped back into the couch. "I've been using work as an escape from my frustration. It was the one place where _I _felt like I had any control." He grunted. "Guess you're not the only one who has a need for it, huh?"

"When I got to Hawaii, I saw The Rug at the airport. You know the history there. I called Ranger to come and help me apprehend him. We followed The Rug to the resort where he was staying. It made sense to pose as a married couple, so we could do surveillance. I wish I could lie to you and say nothing else happened. But it did. Again, it was uncomplicated and easy to get caught up in the moment. Looking back I guess I was easy." I finished rather dismally.

We were both drained from the conversation. Silence hung between us for several moments.

"Do you love him?" Joe finally asked the million-dollar question.

_How do I answer this? _"I don't know. There've been times when I've thought so, but I really don't know."

Silence again.

"Do you love _me_?"

Without hesitation I responded, "I do love you, Joe. I'm just not sure it's the kind of love you need."

He sliced the air with his hand and said heatedly, "Stop telling me what you think I know or believe or need. You haven't gotten a damn thing right yet!"

"I'm sorry." I backed down and waited a moment. "Where do we go from here?"

Joe was still angry. "There's a very real part of me that would like to tell you to go to hell, Stephanie. I'm tired. I'm tired of the games. I'm tired of the drama, and I'm tired of feeling inadequate in providing whatever it is you think you need to be happy."

My heart sank. Just hearing those words made me realize how deeply I'd hurt him.

"What was yesterday all about then?" I asked in confusion. "Tell me the truth, have you been playing a game here, Morelli?"

He turned up the corner of his mouth. "It's become so obvious you resort to Morelli when you feel as though you have to protect yourself. I said I'd _like_ to tell you to go to hell, but you and I both know that's not going to happen. Yesterday was the real deal, Cupcake. I meant everything I said to you Friday night, and yesterday was the best. I'd love the chance to do everything over again and make it right—more dates, more romance, making love instead of just sex. I want nothing more than to make you happy and to be committed to you. And that right there is the key."

"I don't understand."

"I said I want to commit myself to you. I'm not necessarily talking marriage, but a real commitment. No more my place/your place, on-again/off-again crap. I don't want to just be your periodic bed partner anymore. And I want WAY more than to be your TV buddy. I want every bit of you—body, soul and mind." His eyes glittered with so many emotions. "But I have to be the _only _man in your life. I'm not sharing any more."

I could feel the pressure building in my chest again. The fear of commitment was my own worst enemy. Worse yet, I still wasn't completely sure about my feelings for Ranger. Joe sensed it all, and I could see the disappointment spread across his face.

He swallowed hard. "You asked where we go from here. Well I'll tell you. We go nowhere."

I was surprised to feel tears spill out of my eyes. "Are you saying we're done?" I whispered. I was completely torn. I didn't know what I wanted, but the thought of not having Joe in my life was killing me.

He looked at me for the longest time, clenching and unclenching his jaw. "You need to figure this out, Stephanie—and fast. It's not fair what you're doing to me. If it were _any _other woman, I'd be out of here in a heartbeat. I hope that tells you something about how deep my feelings are for you. I've worked hard to deserve respect from other people, and I think I've proven myself again and again to you. I'll give you a week. If you still don't know what's in your heart by then, we're truly finished-permanently. Understand?"

I nodded, too moved to speak.

Joe grabbed his keys and headed for the door. With his hand on the doorknob, he paused and looked back at me. "One more thing. I haven't slept with you since earlier last week, because I know now it only makes thinking clearly more difficult. I'm asking you—no, I'm _telling _you—talk this thing out with Ranger if you want, but so help me God, if you sleep with him again before next Sunday, we're done. And there won't be any second chances."

And with that he was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Seven<p>

Sleep is highly overrated; at least that's what I told myself when I dragged my body out of bed again on Monday morning. I couldn't remember ever having been this tired in my life. Unfortunately, I wasn't anticipating much rest until I made a decision about Joe. Why did it have to be so complicated? Did other people have these same insecurities and complexes about relationships, or was I the only nutcase? I desperately wanted to call in sick to Connie, but knew if I didn't make an appearance today there would truly be hell to pay with Vinnie.

I forced myself to put some effort into getting ready for work, seeing as I looked like shit. There wasn't much I could do with the dark circles under my eyes, but I tried to add some make-up to diffuse the worst of it. I pulled on a pair of jeans, a blue peasant blouse and some well-worn brown boots with low heels and staggered out into the kitchen hoping to find coffee.

Looking in the refrigerator almost reduced me to tears when I found the chocolate pudding I'd shoved in there the previous night. It made me think about my fantasy of licking it off of Joe's gorgeous body, which made me think of Joe (for the millionth time), which again reminded me I had decisions to make. I closed the fridge and decided to grab something with Lula later.

Scooping up my bag, I stopped to make sure I had all of the necessary tools for my profession and headed for the door. I about fell over literally and figuratively when I opened the door and tripped on a white bakery box lying on the ground. Now normally I would salivate at the idea of a bakery box staring up at me, but truth be told, in my line of work you never know what might actually be in the box. Did I dare open it? Safety warred with hunger in my brain and naturally hunger won the battle, so I squatted down and opened the card attached to the box.

_Cupcake,_

_I said I'd give you a week to think, but I didn't say I'd leave you alone. As far as I'm concerned I'm still on a mission to show you how much you're loved. I thought about sending you a dozen roses but realized you'd enjoy these way more. Hope you think of me with each sugary bite. I'm getting turned on writing this, when I think of your tongue licking up the cream. Wish it were mine. You're amazing, Stephanie. And I love you._

_Joe_

I opened the box to find two-dozen tantalizing donuts waiting just for me. I could feel my eyes starting to water again. _Damn it! _How was I supposed to decide rationally when he was making me crazy by forcing me to think about him all the time? My anger was only half-hearted however, as I was totally turned on by not only Joe's comments but by the fact he knew me so well. I mean roses are nice, but we're talking donuts here!

I tucked the card in my bag, grabbed the box and headed to my car, determined to wait and share the goods with Connie and Lula at the office. I use the word office loosely, considering we were currently operating out of a rat-infested hole-in-the-wall while Vinnie had the bonds office rebuilt.

Ten minutes later I pulled up in front of our makeshift headquarters in my marijuana-smelling Chevy Colorado with all of my good intentions shot to hell. The bakery box was now missing four donuts, and my exhausted body was in hyper drive from all of the sugar.

"Well look what the cat finally dragged in," Connie remarked as I walked into the front room. Lula was cautiously sitting on the couch with her feet up off the ground, eyes peeled for any leftover rats that might not have made their escape the other day.

"It's about damn time," Lula spoke up irritably. Lately she'd been trying to emulate what she thought of as Ranger's Batman mode, meaning she was once again in head-to-toe black. This time it was a black leather skirt, black leather bustier and thigh-high black patent leather boots with four-inch heels. She looked like a dominatrix on mega dose steroids. "Where've you been for the past two days? Don't you know I gotta make some cash? What were you thinking about telling Connie to send me out to chase skips on my own? I thought we were partners. Don't you remember we're supposed to be Cagney and Lacey and all that shit?"

"I had things to do," I mumbled, placing the bakery box on Connie's desk. "Here. I brought breakfast to make up for it."

Lula heaved herself up and teetered over on her heels. How was she supposed to chase down skips in those things, for God's sake! She opened the box and frowned. "Some of the donuts are missing. Where'd they go? Did you eat those donuts already? Now how are Connie and I supposed to know if those were the donuts we wanted when you already stuffed your face with them? Who brings a half-eaten box of donuts to share?"

I hadn't had any coffee yet and responded through gritted teeth. "There are two-dozen goddamn donuts in there, Lula. Just pick one!"

Lula quickly tabulated the donuts. "Well now there are only twenty of them, aren't there, which means SOMEONE has already been stuffing her face. What kind were they, anyway?"

Connie could see my eye starting to twitch and shoved a twenty into Lula's hand. "Why don't you go down and grab us some coffee at the little shop down the street, okay? We'll save all of the remaining donuts for you to choose from when you get back."

"_Hunh!" _Lula sputtered, but obediently wobbled out the door and down the street.

Now Connie and I aren't exactly best friends, but she is the saner of my two female coworkers. I could tell she was looking me over intently, taking in the bags under my eyes along with the exhaustion. "Do you want to tell me what's really going on?" she asked. "At first I thought you were on a major fuck-fest with either Morelli or Ranger all weekend, but I can see now I was wrong. What gives?"

I waved my hand to indicate nothing was wrong, but found myself starting to tear up yet again. I'd cried more in the past three days than in the past three years. I consoled myself by blaming it on fatigue.

Connie immediately grabbed a Kleenex and shoved it into my hand. "What's wrong, Stephanie? Did something happen to your grandma?"

I shook my head miserably, still crying. When I could finally speak, I realized Connie wanted an answer, but found I really didn't want to give one. While I loved both her and Lula, my future was on the line, and I didn't have the kind of relationship with either of them where I felt like I could bare my soul. Hell, I knew what Lula's response would be anyway. She'd want me to go with Ranger. While she wouldn't admit it, she's scared to death of Joe simply because he's a cop. And as a former 'ho, she didn't exactly have good thoughts about law enforcement. On the other hand, Connie would listen, but it would be incredibly awkward and her advice probably wouldn't be that great. Her track record with men was worse than mine.

"I'm f-f-fine," I finally managed to get out. "I just haven't been sleeping well, and I'm tired."

Connie looked at me doubtfully. "If you say so." I knew she didn't really want to get into the real reasons for my meltdown either. "Here's a batch of leftover skips from the weekend. Vinnie actually had to do some work for a change, and he took the most serious offenders. This pile here should be pretty easy." She handed me the files and turned back to her computer. "I'll give you a call if anything bigger comes in."

I finished drying my eyes and pulled myself together while Lula walked in with the coffee. "Ready to roll?" I asked, grabbing my bag and heading for the door.

Lula noticed my red-rimmed eyes, but didn't say anything for once in her life. She snatched about half a dozen donuts from the box and followed me to my car as quickly as her boots would allow.

"Gawd, this thing still smells like some teenage boy's nirvana what with that nasty pot smell and shit," she complained, waving her hand in front of her nose. "When you gonna get a nicer car?"

"I _had _a nicer car, remember?" I said bitterly, thinking of the Rav4 I'd had to trade in the week before. "If stupid Buggy hadn't kept stealing the damn thing, I'd still be driving it too."

"Well, don't be blamin' me!" she shot back.

I opened my mouth to do just that when my mobile indicated an incoming text. Glancing down, I saw it was from Joe.

_Caught a case this a.m. Will be wrapped up most of the week. Sorry. I'll call when I can_.

My gut immediately wanted to seethe over the fact Morelli was once again going to bury himself in work. Fortunately, what was left of the rational side of my brain took over and reminded me he did have a difficult job with crazy hours—just like mine. He wasn't purposefully trying to hurt me. It was simply the nature of the game. I comforted myself with the knowledge this arrangement would allow me more time to think in peace.

Surprisingly Lula and I had success all day. After quickly collecting my share of the money we'd earned, I begged off going out with the girls and decided to head for home and some much-needed sleep. I knew I also needed to find time to talk with Ranger, but my mind and body were on overload. No sense in tempting fate. In my condition, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to fend off any potential advances by Ranger, and I wasn't about to blow my chance with Joe before really thinking things through.

My feet felt like bricks as I made my way down the hallway to my apartment. To my surprise another package was waiting on the floor. Quickly letting myself in, I threw my bag down and reached to tear open the box. I was stunned to find an old Trenton Police Department t-shirt of Joe's next to the most beautiful negligee I'd ever seen. It was cream-colored satin and fell above the knees, with molded cups covered by a gorgeous sequin appliqué. Once again there was a note:

_I had a break before we go into lockdown on this stakeout. I knew you'd be busy with work, so I went shopping instead—God help me! The case I'm on is moving at warp speed but not necessarily the way we'd like. I know I probably won't see you for a couple of days, Cupcake, so I wanted to have some nice images of you in my mind while I'm away. I don't think I've ever bought lingerie for you. I saw this and knew immediately it'd look beautiful on you—at least for the short amount of time it'd be on you. The t-shirt makes me think of all the times you've worn it when sleeping at my place. I miss having you curled up next to me every night, Steph. Whichever you wear tonight, I hope you'll dream of me. I know I'll be thinking of you._

_I love you._

_Joe_

I was such an idiot! Here was this incredibly smart, sexy and downright amazing man buying me gifts, professing his love and offering to share his entire world with me. Why couldn't I just tell him I loved him and live happily ever after?

I knew the answer was the fact I still wasn't completely convinced I might not have the same feelings for Ranger. Exhausted or not, it was time to quit pussyfooting around. I needed to talk to him.

Grabbing the phone before I could chicken out, I dialed his mobile.

"Babe."

And there it was—the same little lick of heat that ran through my body whenever I heard his voice.

"Yeah. Hi. So, ummm…I need to talk with you. Are you free tonight?"

"No can do. I'm in Miami for a couple of days on a job. What's up? You lonely?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

For the first time in ages, I actually felt uncomfortable with the flirting. "No. I just need a face-to-face discussion."

"Discussion?" Ranger sounded amused. "Would this discussion be held while we're horizontal or vertical?"

"D-d-d-efinitely vertical," I stammered.

"Well it'll have to wait until Thursday. My place. Eight o'clock."

"How about a restaurant?" I hastily offered instead. I was thinking being alone in his apartment wasn't exactly the best of ideas.

Ranger was silent for a moment. "It's your call. Pino's at the same time?"

"Do they have enough green food for you there," I couldn't help but tease.

"I'll risk it. Later."

We both disconnected. "Well Rex, it's you and me tonight, buddy," I said. "Let's see if we can try sleeping through the night for a change, okay?"

I kept up the one-sided chatter while heating the leftovers from dinner at my parent's house. I could tell Rex appreciated the attention, seeing as he ducked his head out of his tin can long enough to grab a bite of chicken before crouching back inside. After cleaning up, I headed down the hallway to my bedroom with my phone in one hand and the box from Joe beneath my other arm. It took less than five minutes for me to change into his t-shirt, clean up in the bathroom and collapse onto my bed. It wasn't even 7 p.m., and I could barely keep my eyes open. Determined to forget everything, I closed my eyes and was immediately out like a light.

In my dream, I was covered head-to-toe in the rich cream of a Boston Creme donut. Joe was on one side of my body and Ranger the other. They were in a race to see who could lick the most cream off of my skin. The winner would take the prize—me. Even in sleep, I could feel my body responding to both of them. I was writhing on the sheets wanting to see who would claim me first. Suddenly Lula and my mother were standing over the three of us. Lula had her dominatrix outfit on and whip in hand, while my mother was standing there slapping a rolling pin against her palm.

"Go, Batman!" Lula screamed. "Show that white girl why you're a super hero!"

"Hush!" My mother scolded Lula. "My daughter is getting a ring from Joseph. He may be a Morelli, but at least he has a real job. Stephanie needs to get married and settle down."

"_Hunh! _Why would she want to settle down when she can fly?" Lula scoffed.

"Because she wants to be like me," my mother snapped, clearly shocked she would be questioned. "She wants to be a good Burg wife."

"Don't pay any attention to them, Cupcake," Joe paused from feasting on my body to gaze at me in adoration. "I promise I only want to love you for yourself. I just wish this was chocolate pudding I'm licking. You know how I love your mother's chocolate pudding."

My head thrashed back and forth. "What about you," I panted at Ranger. "Do you really love me? I need to know!"

"Babe. I think you already know the answer," Ranger said. He was so intent on what he was doing he didn't even look up.

Both of them were getting closer to finishing off the job. My body was on fire. I was out of my mind with desire, but could feel one of them getting closer to the goal. Bells were ringing. The answer was there if I could only reach it. Subconsciously, I put out my hand for the one-

_RING!_

_RING!_

I sat up in a cold sweat, breathing like I'd run a marathon (or at least around the block). My phone. It was my phone. I glanced at the clock and saw it was a few minutes after Midnight. Slapping my arm around the nightstand, I finally found the phone.

"Hello," I said breathlessly.

"Hey, Cupcake. Sorry to call so late." I could visualize Joe slouched in a chair someplace. "They're about to cut off all outside communication here at the house where we're staked out, so I wanted to call while I still could. Did I wake you?"

"It's okay," I responded, running a hand through my bedraggled hair. "What is this case anyway? Why's everything moving so fast?"

"I wish I could tell you," Joe's voice sounded husky and tired. "There's some scary shit going on, and we found out about it way late in the game. We're playing catch up now."

I thought about our conversation at the restaurant the other night and found myself surprised to be concerned for his safety. "You're being careful, right?"

Joe paused for a moment as if stunned by the question. "Yeah. I'm being careful." I could tell he was pleased I'd asked. "Did you like your presents?"

I found myself blushing in the dark, thinking of the negligee. "I really did," I whispered. "Thank you."

"What are you wearing?" His voice turned deep and silky smooth.

"The t-shirt."

"Well now I'm going to have to wait a few minutes before going into the room with the other guys. The picture I have of you in my mind right now has seriously awakened another part of my body."

I couldn't help but giggle.

"Any decisions?" he asked hopefully.

I hated to dash his hopes. "Not yet."

"I shouldn't be pushing you, Steph. It's just hard being patient, especially when I can't see you."

"If it helps, I've made some headway."

"Good. Listen, I got to go. They're calling us in for another briefing. I'll talk to you when I can. Love you." He disconnected.

Flopping back against the pillows, I let out a huge sigh. My whole body was quivering with desire as a result of both the phone call and my dream. _What the hell had that crazy dream meant anyway?_ I was a mess and, worse yet, now I wasn't the least bit sleepy. _Great_. I closed my eyes and prepared myself for another night of sleepless misery.


	8. Chapter 8

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Eight<p>

Wednesday night. The week was crawling at a snail's pace, and I still didn't have much progress to show for it emotionally.

Lula and I had worked steadily for the past two days without any major hitches—likely a record for the two of us. She and Connie were avoiding asking any personal questions although I'm sure they were dying to pry. I found myself thankful for the hours at work where I could forget my personal life and just concentrate on the job. I could understand now why Joe had used his job to escape as well.

I was still only grabbing a few hours of sleep here and there. As a result, I was avoiding my family as well. My mother would have a coronary if she saw how disheveled my appearance had become and would assume I had cancer or something else worthy of a doctor's visit.

There'd been no word from either Ranger or Joe, so I really had been left to my own thoughts. The problem was my mind kept going in circles without any coherent connections. I really needed to talk with someone but the question was who? Connie and Lula were out. And my mother was _definitely_ out! Grandma Mazur loved me, but I knew it would be impossible for her to take my dilemma seriously. My sister Valerie would just rag on me for having slept with two different men.

Driving home from work, it suddenly dawned on me whose help I needed. _Mary Lou_! She was far enough removed from the situation to be objective; she knew me like a book and wouldn't be afraid to give me a kick in the ass if I needed it. The only problem was the two of us hadn't exactly been chummy for a while. We weren't fighting or anything. But while she was content being a housewife, I was busy being Wonder Woman and getting into trouble with two incredibly hot superheroes. We weren't exactly in the same stratosphere these days.

I took a chance and swung by her house around 7 p.m. She opened the door with a questioning eyebrow raised. "Well look who's here. Stephanie Plum. I haven't seen your sorry butt in ages. What's the occasion?"

I could hear bitterness in her voice and thought I'd better tread lightly. "I know I've been scarce, lately, Mare. I'm sorry about that, but do you think you might be able to talk for a while?"

She seemed to study me for several moments, taking in both my appearance and passive demeanor. Finally she turned and bellowed toward the living room where I could hear the television blaring. "Lenny! Steph's here. She and I are going out for a beer, okay?"

"Yeah fine." I heard him call back. Quickly detaching herself from the munchkins, she gave each a kiss and said, "Go find your dad. I'll be back in a little bit. Be good!"

She pulled the front door closed behind her and said, "You're buying."

"No problem."

We didn't speak much on the way to Pino's other than listening to Mary Lou complain about the smell in my truck. Once at the bar, we each grabbed a beer and made our way back to a booth in the darkest part the building. Sliding in across from one another, Mary Lou grabbed a handful of Chex Mix out of a bowl on the table and said, "So what's up?"

I suddenly felt the need to apologize to her. "Mare, I'm sorry I haven't called in a while—"

She waved her hand to cut me off and sipped at her beer. "Forget it. I understand my life doesn't compare with the excitement of yours. I'm sure it's hard to find things to talk about with me when we live in two different worlds."

I wanted to deny what she was saying, but she would have seen right through me. That's the kind of friends we were—honest and true. And it's why I felt like scum for having treated her so poorly. "Maybe, but I could have tried harder. How are you anyway? You and Lenny doing okay?"

Mary Lou smiled. "We're great. Lenny got a promotion last month, and he's really happy. I'm thinking about getting into selling Avon or Pampered Chef or one of those other home businesses. We don't really need the money, but I thought it'd be something fun to do just for me. Don't be surprised if I beg you to host a party soon."

_Avon? Pampered Chef? _I felt the same old anxiety building in my gut. How could women live like this? "Are you happy?" I asked doubtfully. How could she be when she was stuck at home all day?

"I LOVE my life, Stephanie." She eyed me shrewdly. "What's not to love? I've got a great guy who loves me. He's honest. Faithful. He's given me children whom I'd die for. We have a happy home, a good income—a haven in the midst of a crazy, fucked up world. Why wouldn't I be happy?"

"Don't you ever wish you had more freedom?"

Mary Lou was never one to mince words. "You know, Steph, you've always had a backwards understanding of women's liberation."

"How so."

"You think being liberated means running off to save the world, having a "fulfilling career" and working your ass off to keep up with the men in this world."

"And it _doesn't_?" My voice was dripping with sarcasm.

She shook her head and took another sip of beer. "Being liberated means having the CHOICE to do and be what you want without anyone telling you differently—and that includes being a housewife. I work damn hard, Stephanie. Just as hard as what you do out in the so-called real world. It's just different work. The point is _I chose _this life. And I love it."

"But—"

"There are no buts. Lenny doesn't dictate to me what I can and can't do because I stay at home. He'd support me one hundred percent if I wanted to go out and get a job someplace. I don't. My dream has always been to be a wife and mother. You know that. I talked of nothing else from the time we were fourteen years old and met Lenny. Your mother probably had the same dream, and so have a lot of other women—not only here in the Burg but around the _world._"

"My dream is different."

"Well, duh-_obviously_ you have a different dream, but the reason you're so miserable all the goddamn time is because you can't accept who you are and make peace with it. _Your_ dream has always been to have those adventures, to push the limits, and there's nothing wrong with that. Why can't you be happy with the choices you've made? It doesn't have to be one or the other—all or nothing."

"Tell that to my mother," I grumbled into my beer. "She wants _nothing _else but for me to get married and be like her."

"Are you sure about that? I think she wants for you to be _happy_ and to her being a housewife equates happiness. If she thought you _were_ truly happy with being independent, she'd probably leave you alone. The problem is you always have so much fucking drama in your life no one thinks you're happy."

We each took a few more drinks while I contemplated what she'd said thus far.

"What's with all this angst, anyway? Has Joe asked you to marry him again? Does he want you to become a housewife because that doesn't sound like Joe. He's not going to make you be what you don't want."

I had to agree. "No, he hasn't asked me to marry him, and he's already told me he doesn't expect me to be like my mother."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Oh Mare—" I suddenly choked up.

Sensing my agony, she reached across the table and grabbed my hand. "I'm not mad at you anymore, Steph. Tell me what's going on."

I told her about how I'd allowed Ranger into my life, about Joe's confrontation with me Friday night and his ultimatum I figure everything out by Sunday. I shared my belief that perhaps I was in love with both men, confessing my fear of lost independence if I committed to Joe as well as frustration over Ranger's inability to indicate I meant anything beyond an occasional bed partner.

"Help," I pled.

Mary Lou sat for the longest time thinking, her brow furrowed and her nails tapping against the wood of the tabletop. "Okay. Here's what you're going to do."

"What?" I asked hopefully.

"I'm going to ask you a series of random questions, okay? Then we'll discuss your answers. Don't think too hard about the questions. Just say the first thing that comes to mind."

I looked at her doubtfully. "Go on."

"Which of the two is more fun to be around?"

"That's tough to answer, because Ranger doesn't really hang—"

"Just answer the question."

"Okay, Joe. When I'm with him; it's always fun. Even when we're doing nothing, he feels like home."

"If you were in trouble, who would you call first?"

"Ranger. He'd laugh at me but wouldn't yell and would simply send help. Althoughto be fair, my answer is partially based upon my misconceived notion Morelli would think I was an idiot for putting myself in danger. I've since learned that's not necessarily the case. So I guess I could technically call it a draw."

"You're thinking too much," Mary Lou chastised me. "Next question. If something happened to Rex, who would you call?"

"That's easy-Joe. Ranger could care less about a hamster or any other animal. Joe understands what Rex means to me. I remember once I thought Rex had died. Joe was beside himself with trying to figure out how to comfort me. He even offered to get a friend of his to open his pet store after hours in order to get me a new hamster."

"Who's the better lover?"

"Jesus, Mare, you're all over the place here!"

"Just answer!"

"There's no comparison. They're two totally different but unbelievably amazing lovers. Ranger is slick and confident. He has all the moves and has this air of mystique that constantly surrounds him. He's a challenge. Joe's just plain hot. He's got all that Italian blood running through him, and he oozes sex. It hasn't been as powerful between us lately, because of what's happened with Ranger. But when it's good between us, it's AMAZING."

"Do you feel connected to either of them when you're together sexually?"

I had to stop and think even though I knew it was against Mary Lou's rules. "Ranger lets his body speak for him. Joe and I have such a long history it can't help but be a part of the equation. The trouble is he thinks if we're committed to one another the connection will be even stronger."

"You're talking about intimacy, and he's right."

"Yeah-intimacy," I repeated glumly. "I hate that word and commitment too."

"Intimacy's the most powerful feeling in the world. Making love to the one person you know you want to spend the rest of your life with is indescribably erotic and, in come ways, even liberating. I don't even know how to put it into words for you, Steph. You just have to trust me."

I pushed a lock of hair away from my face and sighed. _I was so tired._

"Okay. Next question. Who do you think supports you more in your career?"

"Up until a few days ago, I would have said Ranger—no question. But I'm beginning to see I've misjudged Joe's intentions. I think he sincerely wants me to be fulfilled with whatever makes me happy."

"Has Ranger given you _any _indication he wants more than a casual relationship?"

"No, it's pretty clear he doesn't. But I can't help but wonder if Joe wasn't in the picture, if he'd feel differently."

"And Joe?"

"You know Joe. He's matured and wants for us to be together permanently whether we're married or not, although I have a pretty good suspicion he wants the whole enchilada—a ring, a wedding, etc."

"So really what this all boils down to is your fear of commitment."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not necessarily the intimacy you fear but what happens as a result—commitment. You're so afraid of giving your heart completely to anyone for fear of being hurt. As a result, you're willing to lose out on the best thing that's ever happened to you. It's why you're so drawn to Ranger. He doesn't want commitment either; therefore, he's safe"

She took a breath and continued. "I think if Joe walked in here right now and told you he would never put a demand on you for marriage, you'd be with him in a heartbeat."

"But maybe I'd do the same for Ranger."

Mary Lou's accusing voice gentled. "You've been in love with Joe _forever._ When _hasn't_ he been the focus of your dreams?" She started ticking off her fingers. "You gave him your virginity even though you knew it was probably just a fling on his part. You tried desperately to forget him by marrying Dickie and look how that turned out. Your paths crossed years later, and it's been like watching a force field the way you two are continually drawn to one another. Even when you think you're done, you find a way back to each other."

She pointed her finger at me. "You think you'll be happy with Ranger, Stephanie, because there won't be any commitment. But when are you going to wake up and realize you've already made one to Joe."

"How so?"

"Hear me out. You use the excuse of not wanting to be subjected to the Burg, and yet, you would have been out of here a long time ago if that were true. You've got the brains and the talent to do anything. But your heart lies in the Burg—with Joe. It always has. It's why you're still here. And that, my dear friend, is commitment."

I sat back stunned. _Was _Joe the reason I was still in Trenton?

Laughing weakly, I said, "Wow, Mare—don't hold back. Tell me what you really think."

She snorted. "You asked for my help. And it's about time someone kicked your ass in gear. We've all been watching you flounder long enough." She paused, searching for the right words. "Steph, everyone who knows you wants you to be happy. I do. Your friends do. Your family does. Joe does. And I'm willing to bet Ranger does too, even though I don't really know him."

"I'm meeting him tomorrow night to talk."

"Good. I think if you open up your eyes and stop letting your insecurities rule your heart, the answer you're looking for is right in front of you." She stood up. "Now let's go. I want to be home to put my kids to bed. And all of this talk about sex has made me horny for my husband."

I rolled my eyes and stood up as well. "TMI—Mare."

On the way to back to her house, we gabbed about nothing of consequence. It felt so good to laugh and be silly with Mary Lou once again. When I pulled into her driveway, she leaned over and gave me a hug. "I've missed you, Steph. Don't shut me out again, okay?"

"Deal. Thanks, Mary Lou."

I watched her enter the house, and then turned around and headed for home. My head was still whirling, but for the first time I felt like I actually had some answers—or at least some thoughts to consider during the sleepless night I knew once again lay ahead of me.

It was time to prepare for my meeting with Ranger.


	9. Chapter 9

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Nine<p>

"Damn it. Damn it. _Damn it!" _I cursed, pacing in front of my closet. _Thursday night_. I was due to meet Ranger in twenty minutes. The day had started poorly with me oversleeping, and everything had gone downhill from there. Lula and I had run into trouble tracking down a skip that afternoon at a car wash, resulting in both of us leaving covered from head to toe in soap bubbles. There'd been no time to clean up before dropping the guy off at the police station, and naturally I'd run into just about every one of Joe's cop friends. I could only imagine the stories that would get back to him on the stakeout. I'd had just enough time to dash home for a quick shower, and now I couldn't find anything remotely appropriate for having the conversation of my life with Ranger.

For the umpteenth time, I looked into the closet and growled in utter frustration, finally just closing my eyes and grabbing the closest two articles of clothing. They turned out to be a pair of black leggings and an oversized, off the shoulder gray cashmere sweater-the latter of which I'd purchased when I was a little more flush with cash. Throwing the clothes on, I slipped on a pair of black, strappy sandals, ran a brush once more through my curls and headed for the door.

"See you, Rex. Wish me luck." I called to my buddy, opening the door to leave.

And there stood Joe Morelli—all six feet of his gorgeous, Italian body. His one hand was poised to knock and the other was holding a Pino's pizza box. He took one look at me and smiled dangerously. "Mmmm…you look delicious, Cupcake." He leaned in to kiss me thoroughly. "How'd you know I was coming?"

"Hey," I replied nervously. I glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall and realized I had exactly ten minutes to make it to Pino's on time. Ranger hated it when I was late.

Joe walked into the apartment and set the pizza box on my kitchen counter. Turning to me, he pulled me into his arms and started placing kisses along my neckline. "I like this sweater. _Very _sexy."

"I thought you were on a stakeout."

"Technically, I still am, but everyone was getting sick of my piss poor attitude. I got wind of the big bubble bath you and Lula took today and bitched enough that they let me sneak out of there for a few hours." Joe had his hands beneath the sweater cupping my breasts and his nose in my hair. "Mmmm…you smell so _clean_."

"Very funny," I said weakly. My voice was breathy, and I was having a hard time concentrating, His hands felt _so _good. "I thought you weren't sleeping with me anymore. You said it'd help us both to think more clearly."

"Yeah, that was a dumb idea," Joe was loving the fact I didn't have on a bra, due to sweater's design, and was busy teasing my nipple. "Are you hungry?"

_Damn, was I ever! _I started to wind my arms around his neck when my eyes happened to glance at the clock again. _Argh! _I stepped back and smoothed my sweater back in place. "Hungry? Yes, I'm hungry, but uh..."

Joe's eyes narrowed slightly. "What's the matter?"

I stiffened my spine resolutely. "I'm supposed to be meeting Ranger for dinner in a few minutes. I have to go."

"Oh."

Silence.

Joe's jaw clenched, and I could tell he was trying to keep his emotions in check. "Have you been seeing a lot of him this week?"

"No. He's been out of town on business and just got back today." I looked him in the eye. "I've spent my week doing what you asked, Joe. I've been thinking and getting _very _little sleep."

His hand seemed to reach out against his own volition to stroke the side of my face. "You do look tired, Cupcake. Have you made any decisions?"

"I'm getting close, but I don't want to get into anything right now. I have to get to Ranger."

Joe stepped back with a disgusted look on his face. "Of course. I wouldn't want to keep you from _him._"

"Don't do this," I pleaded. "I can't handle it right now. You said you'd give me a week, and it's only Thursday."

He gave a rather bitter-sounding laugh. "Yeah, I guess I foolishly thought it wouldn't take this long. I was hoping you'd see right away we belong together."

I opened my mouth to say something, but then shut it determinedly. "I'm not going to argue with you."

"Just remember your promise not to sleep with him," Joe warned through gritted teeth.

"Go to hell, Morelli!" I was suddenly angry. "You say you want a relationship, but you can't even trust me for a week? I don't need this crap!"

"Give me a fucking break, _Plum_. I'm human! Do you know how many times I've trusted you only to find out I've been made a fool of again?" He threw up his hands in frustration.

I grabbed my bag and pushed past him. "I have to go. Get back to your job."

Joe put his hand on my arm to stop me. "Wait." I looked back and could see him visibly trying to calm himself.

"What?" I snapped impatiently. I was really going to be late now. I could only hope Ranger would wait for me.

"I've got something else to say, and it's important." Joe took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "I've done nothing but sit around and wait on this job the past few days. It's given me a lot of time to think."

"Hurry up, Morelli." I really didn't want to hear him harp at me.

"Shut up and listen." He said softly. He took both of my hands in his. "I'm sorry I gave you crap again tonight, but hearing Ranger's name pushes all kinds of unhealthy buttons inside of me."

"I've got to go."

"While I was thinking, I realized something important."

"Oh dear God, NOT another epiphany! Haven't we had enough of those lately!"

Ignoring me, Joe slid his hands up my arms and cupped both sides of my face. "I love you, Steph. I am one hundred fucking percent head over heels in love with you. There is _nothing _I want more than to be with you for the rest of my life." I tried to pull away, but he held firm. "_But _there's something I want even more."

I raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I want you to be happy—truly happy. I mean it. And if that mean you decide Ranger is the right guy for you, it's going to kill me, but I'm going to support your decision. I'll be behind you-I promise. So you have to decide which of us is going to make you happy; it's as simple as that."

"Joe-"

"Find Ranger and do whatever it is you have to do. I'm headed back to work, and I won't be able to communicate again. I'll let you know when I'm done with the stakeout."

I swallowed hard. I couldn't even begin to imagine how hard that must have been for him to say, and I could tell he actually meant it. _Wow._

I reached up and caressed his face. "Thank you," I whispered. "I'm not sure what the heck's going on with this case you're on, but be careful, okay?"

Joe pulled me close for one last hug and kissed my temple before picking up the pizza box and leaving. I wasn't too far behind him, my cell phone already pressed to my ear with Ranger's number punched.

"Babe."

"I know I'm late. I'm sorry. I'll be there in ten minutes. Grab the table in the back corner if you can, okay?"

He disconnected without another word, and I quickly headed for my truck. It was time.

* * *

><p>Pino's was jammed, and I remembered it was Thirsty Thursday with dollar beers and free nachos. The place would be swarming with off-duty cops—not exactly conducive for potentially life-altering conversations. I had to circle the parking lot three times before I was able to wedge in between a motorcycle and an SUV. Heading into the bar, I scanned the room for Ranger and found him back in the booth where I'd instructed him to wait. I fought my way over to the table, acknowledging several of Joe's buddies on the way, and smiled at Ranger.<p>

"Hey," I said breathlessly, sliding into the same booth where I'd been just the night before with Mary Lou. "Sorry I'm late. How was your trip?"

Ranger eyed my sweater with a sly smile. "Fine. No problems." And there you had it—Mr. Talkative himself.

I took a menu and quickly scanned it. "What are you having?"

"Grilled Chicken Salad. I ordered one for you too."

A flash of annoyance swept through me. Ranger knew I hated eating salad. Before I could say anything, our waitress showed up with a couple of beers. "Your food should be up soon," she said with a harried look on her face. I grabbed her arm before she could leave. "Thanks. Could you do me a favor and add an order of fries and a meatball sub to that order? Thanks."

She hurried away, scribbling on her pad, and I turned back to Ranger. He had one eyebrow raised. "Babe. You should eat better. Your body's a temple."

"Yeah, well this temple is ravished, and rabbit food isn't going to cut it."

He shrugged and shifted in the booth, so that he could spread an arm across the back. "You wanted to meet?"

I was incredibly nervous. I'll be damned if he didn't look smoking hot sitting there all in black_. _My body couldn't help but respond to his sexual mystique. _Focus, Stephanie!_

"I did." I finally managed to say.

I sat there not knowing where to begin. Ranger waited a few minutes, but I could tell he was getting restless.

"Babe."

"Joe knows we've had sex!" I blurted.

One corner of Ranger's mouth curled imperceptibly. "And?"

"What do you mean _'And'_? He was majorly pissed!"

"I imagine. What'd he do—call it quits again?" He had a full-blown smile now.

"Would you like it if he had?" I snapped back.

"Not my business."

"Oh really," I drawled. "I should think having an ongoing sexual relationship with me would definitely qualify as your business."

Ranger eyed me more closely. "I take it you're upset."

"Are you always this ignorant? _Of course _I'm upset. I feel like an absolute shit for hurting Joe like that—especially since I know what it's like to have someone you trust cheat on you. No matter what you think of him, he's a great guy and didn't deserve to be treated with such disrespect by either one of us—me especially."

"I won't disagree with you. Morelli's a good cop."

"But an idiot, right?" I said dryly. "That's what you said to me a couple of weeks ago. You said he was a good cop, but an idiot for letting you get so close to me."

Ranger continued to look unfazed. "Well isn't he? Look at the result."

"I had a little help there, you know. It's not exactly like you were trying to fend me off. More like the other way around!"

"I would say we both found it mutually beneficial and satisfying," he smirked.

"Joe trusted me, and I shot that trust to hell."

"Again I ask did he call it quits?"

I blew out a breath of air. "No. He's being unbelievably mature. For whatever insane reason he loves me. _But _he's pretty much laid down an ultimatum. Either he and I are permanently exclusive, or it's permanent splitsville."

The waitress chose that moment to place our food on the table. Ranger paused to squeeze lemon on his salad, while I immediately dug into the fries. We ate rather uncomfortably for several minutes until he said, "Where exactly do I fall into this conversation."

I looked at him like had grown a third eye. "Are you purposefully trying to be dense, Ranger? Don't you think perhaps you ought to have a say in all this?"

"Not really. It's your business."

I threw up my hands in disgust. "Now doesn't that make me feel special! Has what's been going on between the two of us these past couple of years meant _anything_ to you? Or, was it merely a fun little challenge to try and get me to cheat on Joe. Are you that competitive?"

"Why exactly are we having this conversation here?" Ranger returned in a controlled voice, completely ignoring my questions. "I thought you wanted to meet to talk about one of your FTA's. It's why I picked a cop's hangout when you turned down the offer to come to my place."

I didn't want to tell him I had been afraid to be alone with him for fear I'd cave sexually. Instead I pushed him further. "Answer me. Have you cared about me at all?"

"Babe."

"Don't _Babe_ me. I want a goddamn answer!" my voice rose slightly.

Ranger's eyes flashed dangerously. "Don't embarrass yourself, Stephanie. And don't act stupid. Of course I care about you. I'm sorry that Morelli's finding out about the two of us has you so upset, but it was really only a matter of time, wasn't it?"

"I suppose." I agreed grudgingly.

"And as I said, this really doesn't have anything to do with me."

"How can you say that?" I was beyond frustrated. "Didn't you hear me say he's given me an ultimatum? If I choose him, you and I will never be together again. _Never! _Are you okay with that? Because I know I sure as hell have spent the better part of this week trying to figure out how I feel about it."

"I can't make your decision for you. You either want to be with him or you don't."

"Yes, but what about you? Do you want me to be with _you_?"

"I can't control what you feel, Babe."

"I'm asking what _you want_! Joe has clearly declared he loves me. Do you love me, Ranger?"

Ranger turned it around. "Do you love Morelli? Do you love me?"

_GRRR! "_Why can't you just answer a simple question? Fine-I'll answer yours. Yes, I love Joe. I've loved him all my life." Suddenly I was unsure of myself. My voice lowered, and I answered hesitantly, "But I think I might love you too. I don't know."

Sliding his plate to the side, Ranger leaned his elbows on the tabletop. "Babe, I've never led you to believe there was more to what's been going on between us than amazing chemistry and a hell of a lot of fun."

"I don't believe that," I denied, shaking my head. "I _know _you care. You're always looking out for me, providing me with protection—supporting my career. You don't do those things for just anyone. In fact, I don't think you do them for anyone else _but _me."

"This is true. At first it was simply because you were a danger to yourself and anyone else around you."

"Translated—I was inept."

"Your word, not mine." Ranger winked. "You intrigued me with your naïveté as well as your sense of adventure and even your lack of common sense. Remember when I used to consider myself Professor Higgins to your Eliza Doolittle?"

I nodded, calming down a bit. "I don't know what I would have done without your mentorship. It's because of you Joe actually thinks I'm capable of doing the job. I'm not sure I've ever really thanked you for that, Ranger. I owe you."

"No. You _did_ owe me, and I collected payment in full, remember?" He smiled wickedly.

My body gave a little shiver of desire at the tone of his voice. "Okay, so why the continued attention and protection?"

Ranger stared at me so long it became almost unbearable, and I found myself squirming in my seat.

"Alright, Babe, I'll bite. Somehow your crazy antics and passionate nature got beneath my defenses, and I've found myself caring for you."

"_Caring _for me?"

"That's all your getting."

"So you don't _love_ me."

"Stephanie, listen to me. You know _nothing_ about me other than what I've allowed you to know—which, believe me, is a hell of a lot more than I've granted most people. There are things about me I don't _want _you to know and some things you _can't _know. In addition to your work for Vinnie, your very association with me often puts you at tremendous risk which is why I've always made sure you've been adequately protected."

"Why all the secrecy?"

"It's for the best you remain in the dark."

"That's idiotic!"

"Call it what you want. It is what it is, and you can't change it. It was foolish of me to allow you to get under my skin the way you have, but I simply can't offer you the kind of relationship Morelli can."

"Be specific."

"Even if I didn't lead the life I do, I still wouldn't be willing to have a permanent, committed relationship. It's not something I want."

"I'm not sure I do either," I quickly interjected.

Ranger stared at me again, and then lowered his voice until it was like warm silk. "Babe, you can fight it all you want, but you were built for a long-term relationship. Everything about you screams 'hold me, love me-commit to me'."

"That's not true!"

He shook his head a little sadly. "It _is_ true. And I'm telling you I can't offer you that."

"So where are we left?" I questioned quietly.

"The same place we've been always been. It's none of my business. Only _you_ can decide what you want. If you're in love with Morelli, I suggest you consider pursuing that opportunity. If you truly don't think you want commitment, I'm more than happy to keep things going between the two of us. But you have to understand it's never going to be anything more than it is right now."

"You can't know that for certain," I pressed. "Things change. People change. Your feelings may change down the road."

He reached across the table and placed his hand on my arm. "I'm not going to change, Stephanie. Ever."

"If I were to call it quits with Joe, what would that mean to you?"

"I'd be a happy man, because it means we can continue what we've got going right now. You're an incredible woman, Babe, and unbelievably sexy. I'd be a fool to not want to be with you."

"And let's just say for argument's sake I decided down the road to go back to Joe, and he's willing to forgive me, would you be angry or hurt or jealous?"

"I wouldn't have the right to be any of those things. You'd have to do what's right for you. Look how many times you've been with him since we've known each other—living with him half the time. Have I ever told you to leave him?"

"No."

"Well there's your answer. I'm telling you the truth, Stephanie. If I could give you what you want, I'd make every effort to try, but I can't and I won't."

I sat there stunned. I didn't believe a goddamn thing Ranger was saying, or at least my heart wasn't allowing me to believe him. It all just seemed too cold and clinical for me. I couldn't believe this was the same man whose bed I'd shared as recently as a couple of weeks ago in Hawaii. _Oh, and the closet last week!_

I thought back to what Joe had said to me before we left my apartment tonight—how above all else he wanted me to be happy. Somehow I knew even though his methods were different, Ranger wanted the same thing.

"Listen, Babe. Are we okay here?" Ranger asked, motioning between us. "I have another meeting, and I really should get going."

"Sure." I said, unconvincingly. "I'll be fine."

Ranger stood and tossed some money onto the table. "What are you going to do about Morelli?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. You've both given me clear pictures of what you want. I guess I need to figure out now what it is _I _really want."

He leaned over and brushed his lips across mine in a whisper soft kiss, leaving me sitting in the booth feeling completely mystified—and perhaps disappointed. Oddly enough what I _didn't _feel was devastated.

I grabbed my bag and was starting to slide out of the booth when I noticed most of the cops racing for the door. _That couldn't be good! _With heart in throat, I dodged through the remaining people and exited into the parking lot where I could see all of them running toward their cars. I spotted my good friend Eddie getting into his police cruiser and ran to catch up. "Eddie!"

"I don't have time now, Steph."

His window was open, and I put my hand on the doorframe to prevent him from leaving. "What is it? Why's everyone taking off in such a rush?"

"Police business. I really can't talk about it. I got to go."

I noticed he wasn't looking me in the eye. "Eddie, quit playing around. Has there been an accident? A fire? Why does everyone have to leave at once?"

He quickly looked around and noticed most of the other squad cars were already exiting the parking lot. "Okay-I could get in big trouble for this, so keep your mouth shut. Word came over the wire that something big has gone down over on Elm Street. Shots have been fired and reportedly a couple of our guys are down."

"What!" I grasped the doorframe more tightly. "Where on Elm? Who's been shot?"

"It's an abandoned house across the street from the Comensoli Dry Cleaners. Several of our guys have been on a stakeout there this week."

_Oh, Dear God—Joe! _My knees threatened to buckle. "Who's been shot, Eddie? Is Joe one of them? Tell me right now." He looked uncomfortable. "Answer me, goddamn it!_" _I reached in and clenched his shirt in my fist.

"I don't know, Stephanie!" He protested, peeling my hand off of him. "I swear to God I don't know. Let me go, so I can find out more. They're not giving any names over the scanner." He softened his voice. "Let me go, and I swear I'll call you when I know more, okay?"

"You won't need to. I'm coming with you!"

"No! You'll just be in the way and get me into trouble. Now go home, let me do my job and I promise to call you as soon as I can." Before I could say another word, he put the car in drive and blasted out of the parking lot, the siren wailing in the night.

Had I been smart, I would've gone home and done as Eddie asked. I didn't want to see him get into trouble. But when had anyone ever known me to be smart? Dashing over to my truck, I punched Elm Street into my Garmin and within minutes I was on my way. _Please God, don't let it be Joe. PLEASE don't let it be Joe. _It was a nonstop Mantra I prayed-so frightened I could barely breathe. Somewhere between Pino's and Elm Street it dawned on me the terror Joe felt every time something happened to me. It was a sobering thought.

But nothing was more sobering than what I found when I drove upon the scene on Elm Street.


	10. Chapter 10

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Ten<p>

It was bedlam.

Everywhere I looked there were vehicles of some sort—police cruisers, fire trucks, ambulances and what seemed like an infinite number of media trucks. Two separate fires were blazing on either side of the street. One must have been the Comensoli Dry Cleaners and the other the abandoned house Joe and his team had used for their stakeout. You could barely hear over the sounds of the sirens, the various shouts of commands from emergency personnel as they ran about, and the rushing water being sprayed onto both fires.

After leaving Pino's, I'd tried to reach Joe's cell phone, but it kept going to voicemail—not that I had been expecting him to answer. He'd said he would be out of communication again. Still I was desperate. I kept hoping he'd know I'd be worried and call.

Climbing out of my truck, I frantically scanned the scene trying to find Joe or at least a familiar face. In addition to the emergency personnel and the media hounds, there were scads of typical disaster gawkers as well. Finding anyone in that mess would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Eventually I spotted Eddie and my other good buddy Carl talking with another group of cops and watching the firefighters battle both blazes. Running as fast as my heels would allow, I reached Eddie and grabbed his arm.

He turned and swore profusely. "Fuck, Stephanie! I told you to go home!" He looked well and truly pissed.

"Save your breath," I suggested assertively. "You'd do the same if you were in my shoes, and you goddamn well know it. "Where's Morelli?"

Carl and Eddie exchanged a look. "We don't know," Eddie replied, shrugging his shoulders. "He's not here on the scene, that's for certain."

My knees got wobbly again. "Does that mean he's been injured?" I couldn't bring myself to use the word killed.

Carl saw I was looking a little weak and steadied my arm. "We honestly don't know, Stephanie. This whole operation has been so secretive and fast moving the majority of the force has no idea what's been going on."

"Carl, I _have_ to get to Joe," I pleaded. "How many were injured and where would they have taken them?"

"At least five of our men were reported down over the radio. I heard they were on their way to RWJ."

Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital specialized in acute care. My voice shook as I asked my next question, "Did they say how many of them were killed?"

He shook his head regretfully. "I heard at least two, but that's pure speculation. Eddie and I aren't trying to give you the runaround, Steph. From what I've heard, this operation's been a major fuck-up since the beginning of the week. _Nobody's_ talking right now."

"You're _sure _Morelli's not here," I scanned the scene again hopefully, noting several people sitting on the side of the street being treated by paramedics.

"Positive."

"Then I'm headed to the hospital," I pivoted toward my truck.

"Wait," Carl commanded. "You aren't going to get within a mile of that place. Not only will they have it surrounded by cops, but you've no authority to be there."

"No authority?" I was dumbfounded at his attitude. "This is _Joe _we're talking about. There's nothing that's going to keep me from finding out where he is."

"Carl's right, Steph. You have no legal right to see Morelli. You're not married, and you're not related. Nobody's going to talk with you. You might as well go home. If we hear _anything, _I promise to call you. You got to trust us."

"Eddie Gazzara, how long have you known me?" I demanded angrily. "Have you ever known me to allow anything to get in the way of what I want? Now you two can either fight me or help me, but either way, I _am _going find out what's happened to Morelli."

Eddie and Carl swapped looks, along with side-by-side sighs of exasperation. "Alright. Follow us over to RWJ, and we'll see what we can find out."

"Thank you," I breathed, giving each of them a grateful hug. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>The hospital was equally chaotic upon our arrival.<p>

I put my head down and silently followed Carl and Eddie as they barreled their way through the crowd of media surrounding the building. Luck was with us when we hit the main doors. Big Dog and another of Joe's buddies, Flip Parker, were standing guard. They gave grim smiles when they saw us. "What's up, Gazarra? Costanza? And well, well, Ms. Plum too?"

Carl lowered his voice. "What's the word?"

"_No _word, and I mean nada," Big Dog shook his head disgustedly. "Every single member of the brass is here, along with the Mayor and half the City Council. It's a goddamn clusterfuck."

"Any idea of who's not accounted for?" Eddie asked, referring to the wounded.

Parker scowled. "Nah, and that's what sucks shit the most. This waiting is fucking crazy."

"What about Morelli?" I asked. "Has anyone seen him?"

"Not a sign of him or anyone else we know was assigned to the case."

"Can you get us inside?" Carl wondered.

"Negative." Big Dog shook his head again. "Sorry, Steph. I know it sucks. It does for all of us."

I was beyond frustrated and bordering on hysterical. _Where the hell was Joe? _It was time to take matters into my own hands. "Well, it looks like it's another dead-end. I guess I'll do as you suggested, Eddie, and head on home. Promise you'll call if you hear something, right?" I started moving backwards in order to slip away.

I could see all four of them looking at me doubtfully. I guess I wasn't too convincing.

Carl spoke first. "Don't do anything stupid, Stephanie. Do just like you said and go home, promise?"

"Sure," I lied through my teeth. "Thanks for trying to help, guys."

I gave a little wave and headed back toward my truck. As soon as I was out of their sight, I double-backed and made my way over to the side of the main building. Standing in the shadows about fifty feet from the door, I pondered what to do. Should I try to sneak in? Get a disguise? _Stupid, stupid, stupid! _None of that would work. I was thinking maybe I should just go and wait at Joe's house, when I felt a familiar presence behind me.

"Babe."

_Ranger?_

I swung around. "What are you _doing _here?" I demanded. "How did you know where to find me?"

"Your car's still being tracked, remember? I was in the middle of my next meeting, when Tank called with the news about what down on Elm Street."

"You've got to help me get inside. Nobody knows where Joe is, or at least nobody will tell me. What if he's hurt? Or what if he's—"

"Don't go there, Babe. He isn't dead."

I could feel tears threatening. "How do you know? I've got to find him. _Please_, Ranger!"

"Relax. I'll get you in." He motioned for me to follow him toward the side door.

"Not even the cops are getting in."

"I know. That's because the cops are a big part of the problem. I'm here partially to check on you, but mostly it's because the City hired Rangeman to provide additional security inside along with several other outside security agencies."

"You're working with the police?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Correction—the City Council. I don't know what the hell's going on, but it's big enough they don't even trust their own right now."

I was getting more worried about Joe by the minute. As we reached the side door, I recognized Hal on guard. He merely nodded at Ranger and me, opening the door to let us both inside.

"Come on, the Trauma Unit's this way." Ranger grabbed my hand and led me through a maze of corridors. Several minutes later, we ran into a logjam of people—lots of fancy suits and media people waiting outside the doors to the unit. Ranger flashed his security badge to another guard. "She's with me." He jerked his head in my direction.

I found a nurse standing at what looked to be the head desk and made my way over to her. "Excuse me," I put on my best smile, which wasn't much right now. "I'm looking for information on a possible patient."

The woman was probably in her late 50's and looked like she'd been around the block a time or two. I could see she was harried, and I knew immediately I didn't have a chance in hell of getting her to talk.

"I'm not allowed to give out information on _any _patient right now," she informed me crisply. "All questions should be directed to the Mayor's office. His representative is over there." She pointed at a small, nerdy looking fellow standing in the midst of the crowd.

Ranger grabbed me by the neck and pulled me to a corner of the room where we could speak amidst the craziness. "Just try to lay low and be patient, Babe. Don't do anything stupid that might get you thrown out of here."

"You don't understand," I shook my head, the tears I'd been holding back starting to fall. I didn't even care anymore. "Where _is_ he, Ranger? I have this feeling Joe needs me, and—and I need him too."

In that moment, I was struck by own epiphany-I loved Joe Morelli. But not only did I love him, I was head over heels IN LOVE with him_. Dear God!_

I was completely thunderstruck. "I'm in love with Joe." I murmured to myself in total awe.

_Uh-oh! Had I just said that out loud?_

Ranger had been rubbing my neck with one hand while constantly surveying the room. His head turned slowly toward me. "What did you say?"

I froze in embarrassment. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean to say that out loud."

"Say it again."

"Now isn't the time, Ranger," I shook my head.

"Say. It. Again." He repeated with his jaw clenched.

I wanted to hide. I needed time to process this newfound revelation, but Ranger's hand was gripping me in place. Taking a deep breath, I looked him in the eyes and declared, "I'm in love with Joe."

"_Because you think he's dead!"_

"Of course not!" I burst out. "But not knowing what's happened to him has made me realize I can't lose him."

"Maybe you just need to sit down for a minute. You're obviously overwrought."

"I'm not overwrought!" I protested angrily, and then paused. "Well, maybe I am-I don't know. But I'm not confused. In fact, everything finally makes perfect sense to me. I'm one hundred percent positive that I'm in love with Joe Morelli."

Ranger's face became an unreadable mask. "And what about your supposed feelings for me? Wasn't it just two hours ago you said you thought you loved me?"

"I do love you. It's just not the same kind of love."

"Babe, you're all over the place here. Maybe you need to concentrate on finding Morelli first before you make these over-the-top, life-altering statements."

I shook my head. Now that I'd finally admitted it to myself, it was like everything was falling into place in my mind.

"Tonight forced me to see what Joe's been feeling all along," I explained. "He worries about me because he loves me, not because he doesn't trust me."

"So you're ready to commit." I couldn't tell what Ranger was feeling. He sounded so matter-of-fact.

"I am." The tears had stopped, and I felt a little giddy. Mary Lou was right-I felt liberated.

Ranger stared at me for a long minute. "And if I were to commit to you?"

I was shocked he'd even posed the question. Yet, it solidified in my mind what I already knew—Ranger did love me. Surprisingly that knowledge didn't change my feelings.

I shook my head. "It wouldn't change anything."

We stood there silently for several minutes.

"Please don't hate me," I begged quietly. "It'll kill me if I can't count you among my friends."

"Don't be stupid. I couldn't hate you," Ranger chided lightly. "I told you at Pino's I would respect your decision if you wanted to commit to Morelli. I just wasn't prepared to hear you say you're in love with him so soon after our conversation-and right in the midst of this mess. Your timing sucks."

"I'm sorry."

Ranger pulled me into an awkward hug. "You're sure about this?"

"I'm sure." I searched his eyes. "You know, I consider myself pretty damn lucky to have been loved by the two best men in Trenton."

He didn't respond. My mind was still in a whirlwind over Joe's safety, but it felt good to see this chapter of my life ending amicably. Nothing else in my life was ever this easy.

I was just about to pull back when Ranger's arms tightened imperceptibly.

"Babe," he said, nodding in the direction behind me.

I turned slowly in his arms to see where he was pointing, and my breath caught in my throat.


	11. Chapter 11

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Eleven<p>

Joe was alive and in one piece—one shockingly perfect piece, considering there didn't seem to be a scratch on him. He was filthy from head to toe, and yet had never looked better to my eyes. Ranger released me, and I began moving slowly toward him. He still hadn't seen me-at least I didn't think he had. He was wearing his cop face, along with his Oakley's, the latter of which seemed odd for inside a hospital. I could see he was stuck in the middle of his superiors and the City Councilmen who had stepped from the Trauma Unit into the waiting room where we'd all been standing.

The Mayor, Marcus Bradley, was informing anyone who would listen he was going outside to begin a press conference. I was so focused on Joe, and how I could make my way through the crowd to him, the man's voice was merely a buzz in my ear. Joe turned toward me, and I could tell he saw me by the way his body jerked a little in surprise. Motioning with his head toward the nurse's station, we awkwardly pushed our way through the masses until finally we were face-to-face.

He pulled me into his arms and buried his face in my hair. _Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! _I was praying to anyone who would listen, burrowing deeper into his embrace. Joe wasn't one for public displays of affection, particularly while on the job, and I could see him struggling for control.

He turned to the nurse behind the desk—the same one I'd tried to get information out of earlier. Using his best Morelli charm, he slid his sunglasses up so she could see his eyes and said, "Excuse me, is there someplace private where I might have a conference for a few minutes?" He discreetly pointed to the badge he'd attached to his belt.

The nurse was clearly flustered by his good looks, despite his dirty appearance. She fiddled with the papers on her desk. "Of course, Officer. Right this way."

She led us around the corner to a private consultation room. "Here you go." She was actually blushing. _Good grief._

The door closed and we were alone.

Joe took off his sunglasses and tossed them onto the table in the room. Turning toward me, he seemed almost lost—like he didn't know what to say or do.

I didn't know how to begin either. "Joe?"

Instantly I was back in his arms and his warm lips were devouring mine, his tongue working its magic everywhere. I could barely breath his hold on me was so tight. It was as if he was trying to fuse our bodies. Not that I was complaining—I would have given him anything in that moment.

He released my lips and started placing kisses all over my face. "Shit, Stephanie, you have no idea how glad I am to see you. How did you know to come?"

"Are you okay?" I demanded, ignoring his question. "_How_ is it that you're okay, Joe? I _saw _the crime scene."

He began to tremble almost imperceptibly. Burying his face in my hair again, he mumbled, "I shouldn't be. I should goddamn well be dead right now like the rest of them."

His statement registered. "All of them?" I whispered in horror.

He nodded miserably. I could see he was about to crack. "Five of them, Steph. Five cops are dead."

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. "Who?"

He grimaced, ever the cop. "This isn't public knowledge yet, okay?" When I nodded, he said, "Hernandez, Walker, McKay, Hoose and Anderson."

"My God," I breathed. He'd just named half of the Vice Squad! "How could you not have been among them?"

Joe's eyes were tortured, and I knew now the reason for the Oakley's. "After I left the apartment, I decided to take advantage of the time the guys had given me, so I ran over to my place to take a quick shower and see Bob. My neighbor's been taking him out for the past few days, but I thought he'd like to see me. " He swallowed hard. "On my way back, I was heading down Maple, which is the street behind Elm. We were keeping our cars in a garage over there. It allowed us to enter the stakeout from the back of the house and avoid attention. I wasn't even to the fucking garage yet when both the house and the dry cleaners exploded."

I was speechless.

I was out of my car and to the house in seconds, but it was already a goddamn inferno. I tried searching for any survivors." His voice cracked. "There wasn't much left to find."

_Shit. _I had no idea how to help him—what to say. I knew Morelli had seen plenty of ugliness in his years on the force, but nothing like this. He'd carry this night with him for the rest of his life.

"I should have been there, Steph. Jesus, I should have been there." I could see Joe was fast losing control. I needed to get him out of this place.

"Let me take you home," I said, reaching for his sunglasses on the table. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I saw it was already close to Midnight.

Joe scrubbed his hands over his face. "No, I can't. There's still so much to do, and I'm not even finished being debriefed yet."

"What's this all about?"

He gave me a long, pointed look. "You know I can't tell you anything, but it's bad. When the media gets a hold of this, it'll be a wonder if anyone's left to run the goddamn city."

My eyes widened. "Who's involved?"

"The better question is who's not," Joe returned grimly. "We've got dirty cops _and _dirty politicians. How's that for starters."

"Can't the rest of this wait until morning? You need sleep."

"We took a break to allow the Mayor to do a press conference and so we could go see the families of the victims." Again, his voice hitched, "How are we supposed to face McKay's wife? She's fucking seven months pregnant with their first kid."

"They shouldn't expect you to go. Let them send someone else."

"No! Are you kidding me? I have to go." Joe paced agitatedly. "Those men are _dead_, Stephanie. They're my friends, my brothers, and by all rights I should've been there with them. The least I can do is go with my superiors to talk to their families."

He reached for me and kissed me again. Some of the fight must have left him, because this time the kisses were slower and gentler. "Just seeing you like this will help me get through the rest of tonight." He drew back a fraction with a puzzled look on his face. "How in the hell did you get in here anyway? I've been locked in a room for the past hour being debriefed, but I've heard this place is loaded with security."

Smoothing the hair back from his forehead, I said, "Ranger got me in. He was here, because Rangeman was brought in to help with security on the inside."

"Ranger, huh?" Joe looked almost dejected for a moment. "I'd forgotten you were meeting him tonight. Jesus, it seems like a lifetime ago already," He glanced at the clock. "I guess _that_ conversation will have keep for awhile, huh Cupcake. Right now I got to go."

"Wait!" I burst out in a rush. "I know you have a lot to think about right now, but I can't let you leave without telling you something."

"What's that?" he seemed distracted, like his mind had already moved on to what lie ahead the rest of tonight.

Despite the conviction I'd felt when I talked with Ranger only minutes ago, I was nervous. What I was about to say would change my life perhaps forever—the greatest commitment I'd ever made next to marrying Dickie Orr. And look how that had turned out.

Joe was stroking the bare skin at my shoulders above my sweater. "Hurry, Steph. They're waiting for me."

"I had no idea tonight what had happened to you—if you were hurt or even dead. I can't tell you what that did to me."

"Believe me, I know the feeling well," Joe quipped.

"Yeah, I thought about that too—about all the times our roles have been reversed. Anyway, when I was faced with the possibility you wouldn't be in my life anymore, I had an epiphany."

"You did?" His eyes widened comically at the use of the word. A smile crept dangerously over his face, and his hands were now beneath my sweater. Leaning close, he whispered into my ear. "What kind of epiphany?"

"A good one." I moaned, tilting my neck to the side so he could nuzzle his lips along my collarbone.

"I'm praying to God right now it's what I've been dying to hear." He looked up at me, his eyes dark with passion.

"I hope so too, because once it's said, I'm not taking it back."

Rising up, he molded his body perfectly with mine. "Tell me."

"I love you," I said quietly. "I am so in love with you, Joe Morelli. I'm completely yours."

"Only mine?" he questioned.

"Yes." I closed the distance and let my own kiss speak for itself.

Joe groaned in frustration. "You know you'll pay for this, don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Telling me what I've been going out of my mind wanting hear at the one time when I can't do a damn thing about it!"

"I know. My timing sucks. I've been told that once tonight already." I was still running kisses across his face. "Do you still love me?"

He kissed me softly. "Yes, I love you more than ever. When I think about what could have happened to me tonight—how I might never have had the chance to hear you say those words—"

His words brought reality crashing back. With one last kiss, we stepped apart and tried to regain control of our emotions.

"Will you go back to my place and wait for me, Steph? I have no idea when I'll get there, but when I go home, I just want to know you, Rex and Bob are all there waiting for me." He grinned wolfishly. "And I wouldn't mind seeing you in that negligee I bought."

"Get back to work, Morelli."

He actually laughed, and it was music to my ears. I knew it would take time, but I had hope he'd make it through the horror of what had happened tonight.

Pressing his forehead against mine briefly, he said softly. "Thank you for being here and for telling me what I've needed to hear. I'll be home as soon as I can. I love you."

He slipped his sunglasses back on and was out the door in a heartbeat. I stood there for a moment, absorbing all that had happened and realized I was completely at peace. I was ready to go home.


	12. Chapter 12

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Twelve<p>

It was pushing 1 a.m. by the time I pulled up in front of Joe's house, having stopped by my apartment to get Rex and a few other essentials like a change of clothing. The house was dark. I could hear Bob whining and scratching his paws, as I struggled to open the front door. Picking up Rex's cage from where I'd set it on the ground, I made my way inside and was immediately attacked by the orange monster himself.

"Good boy. There's my good boy," I made kissy faces at Bob, while setting Rex's cage on the counter next to the fridge. "What do you think, Rex? Shall we stay for good this time?"

I wasn't the least bit sleepy. Considering how little rest I had gotten that whole week, I realized I was running purely on adrenaline. I was also hungry. The contents of Joe's refrigerator were pretty disappointing, but I settled for a bowl of cereal before heading upstairs. Bob tagged along and made himself comfortable on the bed.

It didn't take me long to brush my teeth and change into the t-shirt Joe had given me. Climbing in beside Bob, I thought about how good it felt to be back in this house, in this room and in this bed. My thoughts turned to Joe and the unbelievable events of the night—his visit to my apartment, my two conversations with Ranger and my declaration of love to Joe. What transpired on Elm Street kept running through my mind as well. Something about the scene, in addition to something Joe had said, kept niggling in the back of my brain. _What was it?_

_Duh!_ Eddie had said at Pino's that shots had been fired and a couple of cops had been reported down. There _hadn't_ been a report of a fire, and yet Joe said both buildings had exploded. He hadn't said anything about a shooting.

Bob lifted his head and gave a barely perceptible growl deep in his throat.

"What is it boy?" I asked with a yawn. "Do you hear something?" I tilted my head and listened closely, but all was silent. "Probably just a squirrel, big guy. Go to sleep."

Yawning again, I felt sleep finally beginning to claim me as well. My last coherent thought was the hope Joe would be able to come home soon.

* * *

><p>"Steph? Stephanie! Wake Up!" I could feel my shoulder being jerked back and forth.<p>

"Unnnnn…stop," I muttered, snuggling deeper beneath the covers.

"Stephanie. Wake UP!"

I opened bleary eyes to find Joe hovering over me in the dark. Glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand, I could see it was 4:15 a.m.

"Joe?" I had been deep in sleep for the first time in a week and was confused. I mumbled something that sounded like, " Yur hme. Cum bed." And I was out again.

Joe lifted me to a sitting position, shaking me slightly. "Stephanie, you've got to wake up NOW. Come on, Cupcake. Open your eyes."

The urgent tone of his voice was beginning to seep into my brain. Trying again, I opened my eyes a fraction and asked. "What's wrong? Can't we talk tomorrow?"

"I've got to get you out of here. Wake UP! There's no time for this."

He literally dragged me out of the bed, down the hallway and into the bathroom. Turning on the faucet, he began splashing water on my face. _What the fuck?_ "Aarghh…_Shit! _I'm awake. I'm awake." I glared up at Morelli. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"No time to explain. Throw some jeans on, grab your shoes and your bag and let's go."

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on." I was becoming more alert by the second and was well and truly pissed.

"Stephanie, I'm asking you to trust me. We have got to get out of here. RIGHT. NOW."

Joe had his full-on cop mode going, but beneath the stony look on his face, I caught a glimpse of solid fear.

"Okay. Okay." I hastily did as he asked and noticed he had a gym bag as well. "What've you got there?" I asked as we hustled down the stairs with Bob at our heels. Joe walked over, grabbed Rex's cage and answered abruptly, "Clothes. Come on. We'll have to take your truck for now. Give me the keys."

Within less than a minute, he had the four of us locked in my truck and speeding off to parts unknown. I was stunned at the intensity on Joe's face and was afraid to speak. For several minutes, he seemed to be driving in circles, constantly looking in the rearview mirror. Glancing down, I noticed for the first time he had his personal gun laying on the seat between us. Bob and Rex were in the back seat with our bags, but Bob had his head hung between the front bucket seats. He looked confused too.

Joe finally turned onto Hamilton. He seemed satisfied we weren't being followed, so I thought it might be a good time to speak.

"Will you please tell me what's going on now?" I demanded.

"I've been put on suspension, pending a review of what happened tonight?"

"_What!" _He could have told me my mother was a lesbian, and I would have been less surprised. "For what?"

From the light of the dashboard, I could see Joe grimace. "It was crazy, Stephanie. The whole time I was being debriefed tonight, everyone acted fine—everyone meaning my boss, the Chief, the Mayor and all the other brass. I must have gone through my story a hundred times. After I saw you, I went with Chief Ferguson and Mayor Bradley to visit the victims' families. We had just left the last house and were on our way back to headquarters, when Ferguson told me I was being put on suspension. He said it was peculiar I wasn't on the scene when the explosion occurred."

"Didn't you tell them where you had gone when they debriefed you?"

"Of course I did! A hundred times. I told them I went to see you, then went home to shower and see my dog before heading back to the stakeout."

"Well, obviously I can vouch for you," I pointed out.

"That's what I told _them_! But Ferguson said I didn't have an alibi for when I left your apartment. He said my reasons for leaving in the first place were flimsy at best and perhaps I knew more then I was letting on. Mayor Bradley spoke up at that point, saying how the media was going to have a field day with what went down, and the City of Trenton was going to have to do an incredible amount of damage control. He said all avenues needed to be examined. Apparently I'm one of those avenues."

"I still don't understand why we're running like this. You've been put on suspension, but it's not like you've been arrested or anything. We'll get this squared away tomorrow and everything will be fine. Everybody's just keyed up tonight."

Joe shook his head. "I'm being railroaded, Steph. Ferguson also brought up how this wasn't the first time I've been in trouble and caused the department unwanted attention. He said I seem to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time—or in this instance _not_ in the right place when I should have been, meaning the stakeout."

"The wrong place at the wrong time? You mean the murder charge? That was years ago, and you were completely exonerated. He's just scared for his own butt."

"Bradley said I needed to be more careful of my actions. Said my mistakes were unhealthy for those around me—that the people who rely on me didn't seem to be faring too well."

"He meant the cops killed tonight?"

"Yeah, but I think he was threatening others in my life as well."

"The Mayor of Trenton threatened you?" I sounded doubtful. The whole thing was starting to sound a little far-fetched. Joe was obviously tired, overwrought and not thinking clearly.

"I really think we need to go back to your place and get some rest. We can put a plan together tomorrow on how to get you reinstated, and—"

"They threatened you, Stephanie."

I almost laughed. "What could they possibly do to me?"

"They said it might be a good idea for me to check on my girl—how they wouldn't want anything to happen to you because of me and my poor choices."

Realizing Joe was truly shaken but still thinking this was a huge misunderstanding on his part, I tried to appease him. "It's all just talk, Joe. But fine, let's grab a hotel room some place. The Holiday Inn by the airport isn't bad."

"I know you aren't buying any of this. You think I'm in a state of shock after what happened tonight. But I'm still a cop—and a fucking good one at that. I know when something isn't right, and this whole operation has been suspicious from the get-go. All week the guys and I had been trying to figure out what the hell was going on—why we were even on that stakeout. I haven't told you half of what's been happening."

"So let's get a hotel room and talk."

"No!" Joe snapped in frustration. "You're not listening. You've got to trust me. I'm not crazy. Believe me, someone is hunting for me. The suspension was to make things look all legal-like. They are either going to try and pin this whole thing on me or kill me—maybe both. By now they're trying to track my whereabouts using my car, my cell phone—which I left at the house along with yours—anything they can think of. I know how this game is played. Christ, I do it all the time."

"You took my cell phone?" I was getting more than a little aggravated.

I honestly didn't know what to believe. My instincts agreed Joe was the best cop in Trenton, but this whole thing seemed beyond unreal. The logical side of my brain was warring with my loyalty.

"Okay. What then exactly is it we're doing?"

"I need to find a safe place to put you, until I have a chance to figure out what's going on."

"So you're going underground again."

"Only this time, I'm not an FTA. Legally, I can come and go as I please. It just won't be safe."

"I'll say it won't, considering once they find out you've disappeared, they _will _think you're guilty and turn this into a hunt for your arrest."

"That's not going to happen." I could hear the determination in his voice.

I was beyond tired and frustrated and none of this made sense. I just wanted a bed—any bed.

"Where is it you think I'll be safe. Am I allowed to know where I'm going?" I asked sarcastically.

Joe gave a harsh laugh. "Maybe this will make you understand just how goddamn serious I am about all of this. I'm taking you to the one place where I _know_ you'll be safe."

My eyes widened. _He couldn't mean…_

Joe glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw the expression on my face.

"That's right, Cupcake. I'm desperate enough to deliver you straight to the door—but I pray not the arms—of Ranger."


	13. Chapter 13

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Thirteen<p>

My heart plummeted. This was the old Morelli talking—the one who wanted to encase me in bubble wrap for safekeeping. So much for him thinking I'm capable! There was no way I could stay at Rangeman after the things I'd said to Ranger—not to mention I was toting baggage consisting of a hundred pound dog and a hamster cage.

Joe slowed my truck in front of the Rangeman headquarters. "How do we get in?" he asked, looking around the perimeter of the building.

"You have to enter through the parking garage down below," I muttered. "And how are we supposed to do that when I don't even have a cell phone to call anyone inside? This is ridiculous, Joe. I'm not in any danger and Ranger's probably still at the hospital with the security team. If you're that worried and don't want to go to a hotel, let's go to my parent's house."

"Too risky for them and us. I'd send _you_ out of town completely, but I wouldn't have any way of knowing you're okay. At least here, I know you're safe. As much as it fucking kills me to say it, I know Ranger would protect you with his life."

"I thought you said I was capable of protecting my own life."

Joe kept circling the block slowly. "You are, except this is about me—not you. Until I can get up to speed on what we're dealing with here, _I_ need to know you're safe. I'm already worried about my other family members. I need to be able to concentrate, and I can't if I'm obsessed over your safety."

He stopped again in front of a garage door. "Is this the entrance?"

"Yes." I sighed. "Pull around the block again. There's a pay phone there. I'll try and call Ranger."

Joe did as I asked, and I hastily dialed Ranger's cell. It took several rings, but he finally answered in a gruff voice. He'd been sleeping.

"Babe. It's 4:45 in the morning. Unless you've changed your mind about Morelli, you'd better have a damn good reason for waking me up."

"I'm sorry." And I was for any number of embarrassing reasons. "Why aren't you at the hospital?"

"The need for security over there is done. We got back about an hour ago."

"Okay."

"Babe, please. Did I mention it's 4:45 a.m.?"

"Joe and I are outside the building right now, and we need to talk with you."

Silence.

"And I would want to do this because…" Ranger was not happy, and I couldn't say I blamed him.

I sighed again. "I have no idea. But Joe is pretty desperate right now."

I could almost hear Ranger thinking, the waves coming through the telephone were so strong. He surprised the hell out of me by saying, "Maybe he should be, and maybe it's not such a bad idea to talk. I'll open the door for you. Take the elevator up to my place."

_Hunh._ That wasn't what I was expecting. "Okay…thanks. See you in a minute."

I got back in the truck, and Joe finished circling the street again. By the time we returned to the front, the garage door was open, and we quickly went in and parked.

"What should we do about Bob and Rex?" I asked, as we got out of the car.

"Leave them for now."

Feeling more than slightly nauseous at the thought of Ranger, Joe and I being in the same room, I barely looked at Joe as the elevator rose to the apartment. Talk about awkward—this would be the first conversation between the two of them since the Hawaii fiasco. When the elevator doors opened, we were in Ranger's private living quarters. Standing in the middle of the room, wearing black cargo pants and a black t-shirt, Ranger was barefoot and looked like he'd just rolled out of bed. _How could anyone look that good when they'd been sleeping?_ I didn't even want to imagine how I looked.

"Babe," he acknowledged my presence. Studying Joe, his face held zero expression. "Morelli."

"Manoso."

"How's the nose?" Ranger's voice held a hint of a sneer.

"Better. Your hand?" Joe sounded equally as sullen.

"Healing."

_Good Grief!_ It was like our very own reality TV show—Testosterone Wars_. _"Well, now that we're all such good buddies again, let's cut the crap," I suggested dryly.

"Fine," Ranger agreed abruptly. "What's this about?"

"You know I'd rather cut off my own arm than be indebted to you," Joe stated the obvious, "but I really don't have any other option. Would you be willing to allow Stephanie to stay here for a bit? She needs protection."

Ranger looked at me pointedly, but spoke to Joe. "I thought I'd been informed you'd changed your opinion of trying to smother her—something along the lines of having a newfound appreciation for her abilities."

"There are reasons."

"Better start talking fast then."

I immediately put in my two cents. "I keep telling him he's overreacting. I think—"

Ranger cut me off and shifted his gaze to Joe. "It's possible he has reason to worry."

Both Joe and I caught the subtle shift in Ranger's attitude. Joe tried to remain casual. "Have you heard something?"

Walking toward a chair, Ranger motioned for us to take a seat on the couch. "I've been hearing lots of things lately. Doesn't mean it's necessarily true, but none of it's good."

"No shit," Joe muttered. "You willing to share?"

Ranger continued to measure Joe with his eyes, seemingly weighing whether he wanted to get involved or kick us out the door. He must have decided to give us the benefit of the doubt, because he said, "After you left the hospital, the Mayor's skinny sidekick stared mouthing off to anyone who'd listen."

"The nerdy looking one?" I interjected.

"His name's Luke Kennard," Morelli looked like he smelled something offensive. "He's a little shit and a real suck-up. Been working for Mayor Bradley for about two and a half years. We've crossed paths a few times when he's wanted to stick his nose in police business. What'd he say?"

"He was spouting off about how the Mayor was going to do everything in his power to avenge the deaths of those whose lives were lost; that he was on top of the situation and diligently working to discover the truth; and that it was clear the police department was out of control at the present time, thus he'd be working closely with Police Chief Furgeson to bring about order, safety and closure to the families of the victims." Ranger sounded as if he was reciting the evening news.

"I can just hear the little prick. He loves 30-second sound bites," Joe said derisively. "In the meantime, Mayor Bradley was in a car with me and Furgeson, claiming my absence before the fire last night was suspicious. They suspended me without pay until they can supposedly investigate further."

"I wondered, because Kennard also said the Mayor had a good idea who was at the source of the deaths and the process had been started to right the wrongs. Considering you were the only person to walk away unharmed, I figured it was a safe bet they'd start looking at you."

"Can someone please back up and give me a hint as to WHY they could possibly think Joe would be involved with cop killing? You're considered one of Trenton's finest." I felt as though I'd joined a play mid-way through the second act and was clueless to the plot.

Joe slouched back into the couch and closed his eyes. He was still filthy from searching through the fire and his face looked pale from nerves and fatigue.

"It started back about six weeks ago." Joe paused to touch my knee. "Remember how many hours I was working back then, Steph? You were angry because I could never get any time off, and in the end, I had to turn you down on the trip to Hawaii."

"Let's not talk about Hawaii," I warned.

"I'm not. I'm giving you background information. Listen, I'm pretty much hooked with Homicide now. Once in a great while Vice will bring me in when a case fits, but I haven't been working with them for some time. Starting six weeks ago, there were a number of murders that took place over the course of several weeks. This wasn't made public, because we discovered the killings were all similar. The murder victims had been shot in the forehead Mafia-style. They were low-level nobodies—seven all together. The only thing connecting them, as far as we could tell, was the way in which they were killed and the fact each of them had traces of heroin on his shoes."

"Any product on them?" Ranger asked.

"No. I took a chance and started asking questions with the guys in Vice to see if they were aware of anything big going down in Trenton regarding heroin."

"Let me guess. They said product and usage was on the rise. Correct?"

Joe opened his eyes a slit and looked at Ranger. "Correct. You been hearing and seeing the same?"

Ranger nodded. "But I haven't been hearing Mafia."

"Gang-related?"

"More like a specific posse."

"Who?" I jumped in, trying to keep up with the conversation.

"Striker."

_Striker. Striker. Why did that name ring a bell? _It hit me. "You mean the Jamaican gang out of Philly that Jimmy Alpha was messed up with?"

"The same."

Joe was looking a little more alert. "No shit? What are they doing back in Trenton? I thought their operation was hit hard after Alpha was killed."

Ranger shrugged. "They backed off for awhile, but they're too big to bring down permanently. After Alpha, I'm sure it took time for them to find a new source in Trenton and build up a way of doing business."

"So what does that have to do with last night?" I wondered.

Joe stood up and started pacing the room in a circle. "I don't know. Maybe nothing. I have to think."

"How were you able to suddenly get away to Hawaii?" Ranger asked, turning the conversation back to Joe's situation.

"It was the damndest thing. They told me I couldn't leave because of the murders, so I told Stephanie I wasn't going. A few days later I got word from Gus Dembrowski I'd been cleared to take a week of vacation. He said my superiors felt I needed a break. I didn't question it, so I took off."

"Dembrowski. Tall guy, thin hair, muscular build?" Ranger questioned.

"That's him."

"Wasn't he the one who investigated the Kulesza murder case that almost got you sent up the river the first time?"

Joe was already shaking his head. "Same guy, but don't get excited. Dembrowski got promoted about six months ago and is in charge of scheduling cases, vacations, etc. We go back all the way to high school. He hated being put in charge of investigating the Kulesza murder and me. There's no link there."

"Go on," I urged.

"When I got back from Hawaii, I wasn't as focused—"

"Can't imagine why," Ranger said sardonically. "Having a broken nose does make it difficult for a person to concentrate."

Joe ignored him and said, "I was trying to catch up with what had been happening while I was gone those couple of days. There'd been an eigth murder. I started working with Vice, because it seemed as though there had to be a connection somewhere." His voice got husky for a moment.

"Let me guess. The team consisted of the cops killed last night."

"Yeah."

I was getting seasick watching Joe prowl about the room. When he passed by again, I tugged on his hand and pulled him down next to me. "What was the deal with the stakeout?" I asked.

"When I went to work Monday morning, my boss called me into his office first thing."

"Brett Rogers is your boss, right?" I clarified.

"Yeah, Rogers. He's always been a straight shooter. We've never had any problems. He said it'd come down through the pipe I was to be reassigned temporarily to work with Vice on a new case involving drugs and money laundering. When I got to the initial briefing I found out the Vice Team consisted of the same five cops killed last night."

"So they were all pulled off the other case too?"

"I guess. We were told the Comensoli Dry Cleaners was a front for drug trafficking and money laundering. Victor Comensoli's on the City Commission, so it was all supposed to be hush-hush while we investigated. Reportedly, a big drop was going to happen sometime this week, so we were sent to stakeout the building."

"Nothing happened, right?" Ranger surmised.

"We spent Monday night through last night doing nothing but trying to figure out why were there. The dry cleaners was practically closed as far as we could tell and there was zero action of any kind. By yesterday we were all pretty much convinced we were being jerked around by our superiors, but nobody had any idea why."

"_None_ of this is making much sense." I frowned.

"Maybe more than you think," Ranger surprised us both.

"Go on," Joe nodded, as though he too was beginning to see some connections.

"Eight murder victims get linked by shots in the foreheads and heroin on their shoes. Striker is back in business in Trenton. Morelli gets told no vacation, but suddenly is given a reprieve after putting together a team with Vice to investigate. Could be he was getting close to something and someone wanted him out of the picture to cool down the situation. He comes back and, along with those five Vice cops, gets jerked around on perhaps a separate and most likely bogus case. All the cops are killed in an explosion. Morelli gets suspended and is being investigated."

"Go on," I repeated Joe's comment, because even I was beginning to see some connections.

"Sounds to me as though they expected Morelli to be in the explosion as well, and when he wasn't, they needed to do damage control."

"And so they decided to use my past problem with the Kulesza murder as leverage to show I'm a loose cannon capable of murder," Joe finished. "I was right. They're going to try to pin this whole thing on me."

"Without a doubt." Ranger agreed. "I hope you've got a fucking good alibi."

"Only for the first part," Joe grimaced. I went to see Stephanie before she met you at Pino's. After that I went to my house for a shower and to see Bob. No neighbors were out, so it's doubtful anyone saw me there."

"Who's Bob?"

"My dog."

"Speaking of whom…" I began tentatively. "He and Rex are still downstairs in my car. I know this is not what you want to hear, Ranger—"

"None of this is what I want to hear, Babe," Ranger interrupted irritably. "None of this has anything to do with me."

We all stood awkwardly.

"He's right," Joe agreed, his face showing how hard it was for him to be begging favors from Ranger. "You don't owe me a goddamn thing, Manoso. I'm asking if you'll let Stephanie stay here because I need to know she's safe while I try to figure out whom I'm up against. I still don't know if this is a police problem, a political problem or both." He looked Ranger in the eye and held out his hand. "I'm asking you, because I know you care about Steph, and you'll protect her with your life. I'm willing to pay you for your services."

"Don't insult me, Morelli," Ranger said in a low, dangerous voice, ignoring Joe's hand. "I don't need your money or your gratitude. Stephanie's made her choice. Her safety is no longer my concern."

That hurt—even if he didn't really mean it. Maybe I hadn't closed the Ranger chapter of my life as amicably as I'd thought back at the hospital. He really was angry about my committing to Joe. I didn't love Ranger the same way as Morelli, but I did love him—a lot, and I sure as hell didn't want to lose him as a friend.

"You're going to let what's happened between _us_ keep you from doing what's right for Stephanie?" Joe pushed hard. "Come on, you know you're the best person to do this."

"I didn't say I wouldn't do it," Ranger countered evenly. "I'm saying don't overestimate me—either one of you. She can stay here. I'll even offer my assistance in trying to figure this whole mess out. But it _won't _be out of some loyalty to Stephanie or helping you out or any of that shit. It's because Trenton's a fucking mess right now. If nothing else, I've always said you're a good cop and right now Trenton needs a few more of those. I'm going to do what I can to make sure we don't lose the ones we have—including you."

Joe studied Ranger for a few beats. He held out his hand again. "You may not want my gratitude, but you've got it anyway. Thanks."

The two of them did some funky little man-shake, then quickly dropped hands as if embarrassed they'd shown even that much consideration of one another.

"What about Bob and Rex?" I pleaded.

Ranger shook his head, "Babe you know how I feel about animals."

"_Please_, Ranger. They don't have any other place to go," I knew I was pathetically begging, but it was now 5:30 in the morning, and I didn't care."

Ranger rolled his eyes. "Fine. They can sleep in the file room _downstairs._ That's my best offer."

"Thank you!" I leaned over to give Ranger a hug. He looked at Joe and sort of half-hugged me.

Joe put his hand on my arm. "I'll get your bag and take care of Bob and Rex. You get some sleep, and I'll try to come by tomorrow to talk with you."

"Wait a minute," I stared at him. "What about you? You're staying here too, right?"

Both Ranger and Joe look at me as if I had lost my mind. "Uh no. That wouldn't be a good idea, Steph," Joe said. "I'll sleep in the truck for a couple of hours, but I've got to get a plan together and start moving."

"_NO!_" I think I surprised both of them with the intensity of my voice. "I won't stay here without you, Joe. If you're in this much danger, you need a safe place to stay as well. Plus, if we're all here it will be that much easier to formulate a plan and work together—not to mention the fact Ranger has all of this equipment and staff at his disposal."

"Steph—" Joe began.

"It's not negotiable. Neither one of you can force me to do anything. If you want me here, those are the conditions."

Joe threw up his hands in frustration. "Why do you always have to make things so goddamn complicated? Just once—can't you trust me to know what's best?"

"Evidently not," I said through gritted teeth, "because _those are the conditions_."

I thought I saw Ranger trying to suppress a smile.

"Manoso?"

Ranger rolled his eyes. "Fine. Take the second bedroom back there. Let's all grab a few hours of sleep and regroup at 9 a.m."

By the time Joe had taken care of Bob and Rex and brought up our bags, I was already in bed and half asleep. I was still wearing Joe's t-shirt, which made it easy to strip off my jeans and collapse. Wanting to get rid of the smell and dirt from the fire, Joe quickly took a shower before climbing into bed with me completely naked. Spooning his warm body around my mine, he whispered. "This is creepy. It's like being in bed with a girl at your mother's house."

"You think _you _feel creepy?" I muttered in amazement. "Just imagine how I'm feeling about now."

"You're not wishing you were in a different bed, are you?"

I rolled over to glare at him and hissed, "Of course not, you idiot. Do you really think I'd tell you I'm in love with you, and then turn around and want to sleep with someone else?"

"Well it sort of has happened like that before, Cupcake," Joe pointed out.

"Don't make me get pissy, Joe. I'm too damned tired. I've never committed myself to you before. If we're going to make this work, you're going to have to trust I only want to be with you."

Joe blew out his breath. "Okay, I'm sorry. Old habits are hard to break sometimes. I do trust you. I'm just scared out of my mind. The moment I've waited for what feels like _forever _finally happened tonight—you told me you want to commit to me. And then the rest of my life gets stripped away. Worse yet, I don't have a clue where to begin to fix it, and now I'm indebted to my biggest rival."

I reached up to stroke his cheek. "It's going to be okay, I promise. We'll figure this whole mess out tomorrow."

He looked doubtful but nestled his lips against the palm of my hand. "I wish this night could have been different. I wanted so badly to make love to you to celebrate."

"We still will," I assured him. "But right now, we both need to sleep. The one thing I know about Ranger is if he says 9 a.m., he means 9 a.m."

"It's because he's former special ops," Joe couldn't help but smile. "Most former military are time Nazis."

"You're former military and you're not like that," I pointed out.

He leaned over and kissed me. "Haven't you figured it out yet? I'm not like most men."

I rolled my eyes. "Go to sleep, Morelli."

He snorted. "I love you too, Cupcake."

* * *

><p>It was 8:50 when I opened my eyes, although I swear the effort alone took five minutes. It was if someone had attached 10-pound weights to each eyelid. I was beginning to have a healthy appreciation for the sleep deprivation tactics used in the military. Hearing Joe in the shower again, I decided to go find some breakfast. I threw my blue jeans back on and headed for Ranger's kitchen where Ella had already put out a healthy assortment of fruit, bagels and hard-boiled eggs.<p>

I was sitting on the counter top busy chewing a banana and wishing it were an Egg McMuffin when Ranger walked into the room. He eyed me warily and reached for an egg. We both ate in awkward silence for a moment. The tension between us was killing me, and I knew I had to do something.

"Thanks again for letting us all stay."

Ranger gave a slow eye roll and ignored my appreciation. "Have you recovered yet?"

"What do you mean?"

"From last night at the hospital. You seemed to be in some kind of bizarre time warp."

"Huh?""

"The way you were talking. It's like you thought we were in a war movie or something, declaring your love for Johnny before he heads off to war, or in this case your love for Joey before he heads off to prison."

"Very funny, "I said through my teeth. "I guess maybe I was a little over the top. Give me a break. I was overwhelmed."

"_Maybe_ you were a little over the top? Babe, I felt like I was in the middle of a fucking General Hospital episode."

"You're just full of funnies today, aren't you?"

Ranger stepped into my personal space, slipping between my thighs and lowered his voice. I'll be damned if I couldn't feel myself responding in the all the right places, which with him should now be all the _wrong_ places. I comforted myself with the knowledge I wasn't dead just because I was in love with Joe.

"You still good with your decision?" Ranger asked, twirling one of my curls around his finger.

"I'd be interested in knowing the answer to that question too," Joe remarked from where he was leaning against the doorjamb to the kitchen, arms folded.

_Shit._


	14. Chapter 14

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Fourteen<p>

"I suggest you take your hand off of her," Joe said in a controlled voice.

Giving Ranger a light shove on the chest, I glared at both him and Joe as I hopped off the counter and headed for the door to the living area. "We don't have time for this kind of crap." My cheeks were flushed with embarrassment.

Joe reached out and grabbed me around the waist, as I tried to pass him. He looked exhausted, frustrated and more than a little on edge. "Are you avoiding the question?"

"No, I'm ignoring it," I answered pointedly. "And if you two can't set aside your personal shit, I'm out of here—danger or no danger."

Ranger and Joe were still studying one another like two gunfighters in a Western. Growling with annoyance, I shoved past Joe and headed for the bedroom to gather a clean set of clothes. I didn't know which of the two was making me angrier, but I knew neither was being fair. Obviously Ranger wasn't quite ready to finish playing the game, and Joe was resorting to his caveman antics, proving once again he didn't trust me. Didn't either of them understand how hard this was for me?

I felt a little more in control after a shower, spending extra time on my hair and make-up. Heading back into the bedroom to toss my things into the bag, I was startled to find Joe sitting on the bed.

"I went down and checked on Bob and Rex," he informed me quietly. "They're both fine. I gave them something to eat too. Cal was down there and offered to take Bob around the block.

"Thank you," I returned coolly. I was still ticked.

Joe exhaled loudly. "Look Stephanie, I'm sorry," he offered, patting the bed beside him.

I gave him a doubtful look, but sat down.

"I could offer the excuse my life is totally fucked right now and stress is causing me to not think clearly, because it's true. But I don't want to use an excuse. The truth is I'm jealous. I'm also regretting the fact I've allowed myself to ask Ranger for help." He reached over and pulled me onto his lap. "I'm sorry I'm finding it hard to trust. I love you, and you've said you love me. I want to believe that—to trust in us. I need you right now more than ever."

Instantly my anger dissipated. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I whispered in his ear, "I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Can I be honest with you?"

Joe was distracted by the fact my neck was now in the perfect spot for his lips to snuggle against. "Hmmm?"

"If I wasn't part of the equation, I think you and Ranger could actually be friends."

Joe snorted against my skin. "No."

"I'm serious. I can remember when he first agreed to mentor me. He told me you were a cool guy, and he's never hesitated to say you're a good cop. Both are high praise coming from Ranger."

"But a lot has changed, hasn't it?" Joe reminded me. "You _are _a part of the equation. Listen, I'm grateful for what he's doing for you—hell, for me too. If the situation was reversed, I'm not so sure I'd be as willing—"

"You would," I interrupted confidently, "Because deep down I think you know Ranger is worthy of respect too."

"Cupcake, we don't even know half of what that guy does or if it's even legal. I'm a cop—at least until they tell me I'm not—and his mercenary ways matter."

"Fine." I slid off his lap. "I'm not going to argue with you. We need to get to work on figuring out who's behind all of this and what _this _really is."

"Agreed."

"All I ask is you try and remember I made my choice. I chose you, and I'm not changing my mind." I searched Joe's eyes. "However, I do love Ranger. He's been good to me, and if he allows me I want to remain his friend."

"I don't know how you're going to manage being just friends after being lovers. If the situation was reversed, I know I wouldn't want to be friends with you. The only reason we're here is because he _does _have feelings for you."

"Maybe. Maybe not." I shrugged. "All I know is right now I need you to try and get along with him. He's smart, Joe, and he has contacts you don't. You need all the help you can get, and we both have to remember he wasn't obligated to help us last night, let alone let us stay here."

Joe stood and slid his arms around my waist. "I hate it when you're right."

He took a moment to kiss me thoroughly, and then said, "Let's get to work."

We found Ranger in the living area talking with Tank. He acted like nothing had happened between the three of us earlier as he handed cell phones to Joe and to me. "They're prepaid wireless. All the correct cell numbers for each of us have been programmed. We'll get you new ones every day until this is finished. It's doubtful the cops can trace these, correct?" he asked Joe.

"Not as long as we keep changing them," Joe agreed.

"I've been briefing Tank. Unless it becomes necessary, I prefer not to bring in my whole team. The less people involved the better right now. So what's your plan?"

"I've been thinking it's no coincidence the name Striker is being mentioned on the streets and eight dead bodies were found in Trenton with heroin dust on their shoes. There's got to be something or _someone_ linking those eight men together. The problem is I can't show my face at the precinct. I need someone I can trust on the inside to start doing a little more digging."

"What about Eddie or Carl?" I asked.

Joe shook his head. "They're beat cops, Steph. This isn't what they do."

"Exactly," I argued. "You trust them, but nobody at the precinct is going to be looking at them too closely if they start asking a few subtle questions to the right people. And I know the first question to ask Eddie."

"What?"

"When I first confronted him at Pino's last night about why all of the cops were leaving in such a hurry, he said word had come from dispatch that shots had been fired and at least two cops were down."

Joe looked stunned. "Are you serious? _I_ was the one who called in the explosion. I was the first on scene. There were no gunshots."

"Where would Eddie have heard it then? Who'd you talk to in dispatch when you made the initial call?"

"Mona Meyers, but she's been in dispatch since you and I were kids. She's a goddamn institution at the precinct. She doesn't make mistakes."

"Call Eddie and have him talk to Mona," I urged. "And have him start looking into those dead bodies too."

Ranger and Tank had been listening attentively to this exchange. "I've been thinking too," Ranger spoke. "If Striker is involved, it wouldn't hurt to start doing a little more digging there. Why don't you let Tank and me make some inquiries with some of our contacts around town?"

Joe eyed Ranger for a moment, and then glanced at me. I gave him my best "Play Nice" look, until he turned back and said, "Sounds good. I'll work some of my contacts as well via phone. That way one of us is here to keep an eye on Stephanie—"

"Who can take care of herself," I reminded determinedly.

"Of course." Joe agreed not daring to crack a smile.

"We'll meet up this afternoon unless you hear from us sooner," Ranger said, as he and Tank headed for the door.

"I've got to make some kind of contact with Vinnie or else I'm going to lose my job," I commented after they were gone. "He's already pissed about how much time I've taken off lately. My parents must be going crazy with worry too."

Joe nodded his head. "I know. My mom probably is too. Don't call anyone though, because I don't want you to say anything the police could use if they try to get information from Vinnie or our parents. Send a text to Vinnie, telling him you're safe and helping Ranger with a project for a few days. Ask him to call your Mom for you."

"He's never going to believe I'm helping Ranger when your name is all over the news as a cop killer."

"Probably not, but there's nothing else you can say for now."

"Fine," I sighed with frustration. "What else do you want me to do?"

"Would you monitor the media to see what they're saying about last night and about me?"

"No problem." I walked over to turn on the TV, while Joe headed back to the bedroom to call Eddie.

My intentions were good, but that couch was big and soft and comfy, and I was still _so_ tired. Within minutes I was sound asleep, and when I awoke it was well after 2 p.m. I'd been sleeping for over four hours. Still groggy and also insanely hungry, I headed for the kitchen to see if Ella had left anything out for lunch.

I was surprised to see Ranger, Tank and Joe all silently eating as I entered the room. The counter was filled with sandwiches, salads, fruit and a vegetable tray. Grabbing a turkey sandwich, I sat next to Joe, who was chewing a carrot.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked, shaking my head to clear it.

"You needed the sleep," he said simply, running his hand down my back. "You haven't gotten much of it this whole week." He took a bite of his sandwich. "I was able to catch a little bit of the news. Word's out I've been suspended without pay and being investigated."

"What'd you find out from Eddie?"

"The precinct is quiet—almost eerily so, according to him. Everyone's sick about the guys lost last night and nobody's talking much, mostly because they don't know whom to trust anymore. They know if I can get railroaded, any one of them could get sucked in as well. They're looking for scapegoats."

"So obviously nobody believes you were responsible for the fire."

"Not the guys I work with, no. But I guess the brass is making a pretty damn good effort to try and get people to believe it—the Mayor's office too."

"Did Eddie talk with Mona?"

"Yeah." I saw Joe exchange a look with Ranger. Apparently, they'd already discussed all of this. "She said before I called in to report the fire, she'd _already_ sent out the dispatch about the alleged shootings."

"What? Who called that in?" I asked.

"Nobody _called _it in. It seems Jake Dorsey came in to dispatch and told her he'd heard from me about the shootings, and because I was so distraught, I'd asked him to have it broadcast."

"Jake Dorsey? Who the heck is—WAIT! Dorsey….are we talking the same Dorsey that was assigned to the Benito Ramirez case when he was after me?"

"Got it in one."

"How in the hell does he fit into all of this?"

"Babe," Ranger spoke up for the first time. "It's pretty obvious the past is repeating itself."

"Meaning?"

"Think about it," Ranger said as he continued to eat his salad. "There are now three direct links from this case to Morelli's past run in with the law—Striker, Dembrowski and now Dorsey. That's no coincidence."

"I still say you're barking up the wrong tree with Dembrowski," Joe shook his head. "We've never had a problem with one another. Now Dorsey on the other hand, that's a different story."

"How's that?" I asked. Looking at Ranger, I added grumpily, "Don't you have _anything _in this place with sugar in it—a cookie, a brownie, a sugar cube…something?"

"Your body's a—"

"Temple. You've mentioned that a time or two or _a thousand_," I groused, and then motioned my hand to Joe. "Go on."

"Dorsey and I went through the academy together. From the start he was real competitive, always looking for a way to get a leg up on the rest of us rookies. He'd suck up to the trainers and anyone else that would pay attention. At the time, I thought maybe it was because he wasn't quite as big as everyone else. He felt he had more to prove. He especially hated me, because I was stronger _and _smarter than he was."

"Have you worked together much?"

"No. We were assigned different beats when we first graduated, but he was always sniffing around everything I did. I was the first to get moved into plainclothes work. That really pissed him off. By the time he got moved over as a PC, I'd already established myself in Vice. Although he never said anything to me directly, word around the precinct was he was angling to be put in charge of the Kulesza murder and tracking me down. His nose was really put out of joint when Dembrowski got the call."

"What happened after you were cleared of the charges?" Tank's voice caught me by surprise. It was the first time I'd heard him speak today.

"He never said a word to me. A few months later he went to work for IA, and I haven't had much contact with him since."

"IA?" I repeated questioningly.

"Internal Affairs. They're the cops who police the cops. Basically they know everything about anything when it comes to the men and women on the force. Some people consider them to be rat-finks because you're never supposed to turn on a fellow cop. It's a brotherhood."

"What do you think he has to do with last night?"

"I can't imagine. Honestly, I've never thought him to be smart enough to do much of anything. Ranger's right though. There has to be a link. Why would he have said those men were shot?"

Ranger cleared his throat. "I don't know the answer to that, but I do know Striker has made a major comeback in Trenton. According to a number of our contacts, we're hearing regular shipments of heroin have been making their way back to Trenton for about six months now—maybe longer."

Joe drummed his fingers on the tabletop nervously. "How are they making the drops?"

"From what we're hearing, they're using the same pipeline as last time."

"You mean drop boats?"

"Yeah, because the stuff isn't coming through Kennedy, and it isn't at Port Newark either."

"Maybe it's time for us to take a little trip to the shore and start searching some of the marinas to see if we can find anything interesting," Joe decided.

"I agree. You want Tank and me to do it?"

"I want to go too," Joe nodded.

My cell phone chirped, indicating an incoming text message. "Nobody knows this number. Who in the heck would be texting me?" I asked, picking up the phone.

It was from Vinnie. He'd used the number from when I'd called him that morning. I read aloud: _Received visit from Vic Comensoli looking for Morelli via you. Says it's urgent. Meet at 4 p.m., Calhoun Street Park._

"Is this legit?" I asked, "or is Comensoli trying to lull you out of the wind in order to finish something off."

Joe sat there thinking. "I don't know. I hadn't even begun to imagine how he fits into the picture."

"What do you want to do?" Ranger asked.

"I guess I'll risk it. It may give us further information. I can see if there's a link to Dorsey somewhere. You and Tank go ahead and check out the marinas without me."

Ranger cleared his throat. "You're crazy to meet anyone without back-up."

"Take Eddie," I urged.

"I can't have Eddie risking his job over me," Joe argued.

"Take Tank," Ranger offered. "No one knows him, so it won't be suspicious. He can watch from the periphery."

"Can you handle the marinas alone?"

"He won't have to handle it alone," I said assertively, "because I'm going with him."

"Stephanie—"

"Deal, Morelli. Who checked out the marinas on the Kulesza murder? Me—Ranger wasn't there, remember? He'll be able to do it a lot faster and easier with me along."

Ranger and Joe eyed one another warily. I could see the muscle in Joe's jaw flexing as he fought an internal battle between his brain and his heart. "Fine," he bit off. "Do it." He stood and put his hands on the table, leaning toward Ranger. "I'd appreciate it if you'd try to keep your hands to yourself."

Before Ranger could respond, I stood as well. Taking Joe by the hand, I led him into the living room. "Promise me you'll be careful. I haven't gone through the hell of realizing I'm in love with you only to lose you."

Joe put his hands on either side of my face and used his tongue in a clearly possessive kiss. "No way. I wouldn't give Ranger the satisfaction. Be smart. I'll see you tonight."

I turned to find Ranger studying the two of us from the door to the kitchen. He lifted one eyebrow. "Ready?"

"Sure," I replied. _Just as soon as I find my anti-Batman lust repellant. _It was going to be a long ride to the shore.


	15. Chapter 15

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Fifteen<p>

Ranger chose to drive a black Cadillac Escalade with tinted windows. It was dark and quiet inside the vehicle, almost as if we were locked inside a casket. Neither one of us had said a word since we'd left Rangeman thirty minutes earlier. By now the silence had moved well beyond awkward into being downright unnerving. I didn't know how to act around Ranger right now, and he seemed lost in his own thoughts.

I found a map of New Jersey in the glove compartment and set about highlighting all of the marinas from Long Branch to Sea Side Park. Ten minutes later, I nearly jumped out of my skin when Ranger finally asked, "So how do you want to do this?"

After my heart stopped pounding, I answered, "I've been marking all of the marinas along the shore. We could start up in Long Branch and make our way down, stopping at each one. I can't imagine Striker and whoever else is behind this would be stupid enough to use the same marina as last time, do you?"

Ranger tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. "I'm not so sure they wouldn't. It seems whomever we're dealing with has pretty much made an effort to pick up right where Jimmy Alpha left off. It would make sense he'd follow pattern and use the same marina. What was the name of it?"

I found it on the map. "The Pachetco Inlet Marina and Cold Storage. I remember it was on a secondary road off of Hammonton Louis."

"What the hell," he muttered. "Let's take a stab in the dark and start there. But we need a cover."

"A cover for what?" I looked up from the map perplexed. I was still nervous and not paying very close attention.

"A cover story if we're caught poking around the place," Ranger clarified. He looked at me quizzically, "What's with you, Babe?"

"Nothing!"

"_Okay_…."

Silence.

We drove for another five miles before Ranger spoke again, "You never got a chance to answer my question this morning. Are you still good with your decision about Morelli?"

"Of course—why wouldn't I be?" My voice was shaking. _Why couldn't I play this cool like he was?_

"I don't know," Ranger shrugged a shoulder. "It just seemed like you made up your mind pretty damn quickly. It took you less than two hours to go from thinking you might love both of us to swearing your undying loyalty to Morelli. It's odd."

"I told you at the hospital. Seeing the possibility of a future without Joe made me realize what I want."

"If that's true, why are you so nervous about being alone with me?" Ranger tried to place his hand on my thigh, but I determinedly set it aside. "If you don't have feelings for me, none of this should be a big deal, right?"

I looked over at him. "I didn't say there wasn't still chemistry between us, but I'm not interested in cheating on Joe. Maybe in time our chemistry will fizzle."

Ranger snorted, letting me know his feelings on the likelihood of that happening. "I still don't get why you're acting so weird."

"Because I can't figure out why you're doing all of this!" I suddenly blurted, surprising both of us. "Why are you letting us stay at your place? Why are you even helping Joe? What you said last night was bullshit, and you know it—saying you're helping because Trenton's a mess and you want to make sure good cops like Morelli are kept around. Since when have you _ever _cared about Trenton or the police department? And what about your little comment regarding my safety no longer being your concern? What's that supposed to mean when you turn around and help us? I don't get any of it!"

"I guess we're both in the dark then, because I don't understand this sudden change of heart you've had regarding me," Ranger's control was slipping. "Christ, Stephanie, you never even gave me a chance to process what you were saying at Pino's last night. You walk in, slam me with the knowledge Morelli is aware of our relationship, demand to know if I love you, and then two fucking hours later tell me you're in love with Morelli and we're finished. I'm supposed to believe you?"

"You're helping Joe, because you think I'll change my mind about you, aren't you." I was stunned. The thought hadn't occurred to me.

"No!" Ranger denied hotly. "I'm helping, because, God help us both, I _do_ love you, and anything that affects you affects me."

I sat there in complete shock. He'd actually said the words. Ranger loved me. For several moments, I just sat there, not even knowing how I felt let alone what to say.

"Why are you telling me this now," I demanded. "Does it change anything you said last night? Are you changing your mind about commitment too?"

"I don't know! You shocked the hell out of me last night, and I haven't had time to think or prepare. I've never wanted to get entangled with someone the way I have allowed you into my heart. My life isn't conducive for commitment, Babe. And yet, I also can't imagine my life without you in it somehow."

I closed my eyes to absorb his words. He loved me. I suddenly felt sad, because I realized in his own way Ranger was hurting.

"You said that anything that affects me affects you. But what if the "anything that affects me" is Joe?"

Ranger blew out his breath. "Shit. You're set on this, aren't you?"

"I am. I hate hurting you, Ranger, but I'm not going to change my mind. I really am in love with Joe."

Ranger sighed again. "Fine. I'll quit trying to change it then—at least for now."

"And will you still help us?"

"Tank and I are deep enough into this thing we'll see it to the end." He paused," After that I'm not making any promises."

"You're going to end up hating me," I realized sadly.

He shook his head. "I told you at the hospital, I could never hate you."

"Do you think it's possible for us to still be friends?"

"I don't know," Ranger answered honestly. "Let's get through this mess first, okay? Give me some time."

"Fair enough. For what it's worth, I meant what I said at the hospital. I'm loved by the two best men in Trenton."

"Yeah, whatever." Ranger tried to regain his composure. "We're the only two men insane enough to want to pair up with someone as crazy as you."

I didn't want to push my luck with his attitude, so once again we lapsed into silence. Thirty minutes later, Ranger pulled the Escalade to a stop in front of the warehouse that was the Pachetco Inlet Marina. As we climbed out of the car, I looked around to refresh my memory of the place. It was hard to believe how much my life had changed since I was first there three years ago.

"What are we looking for?" Ranger asked, as we headed toward the boats. There were dozens of them scattered about—both in dry dock and in the water.

"Last time Joe and I found the drugs by accident in the trim drums from Sal Boca's Butcher Shop. They were on Sal's boat. It had some kind of cutesy little name." I snapped my fingers. "Sal's Gal."

"What kind of boat was it?" Ranger asked, scanning the docks.

"What does it matter?" I returned. "That boat was surely impounded by the police after Alpha was arrested. It's long gone by now."

"Humor me," Ranger suggested. "I'm still going with this theory of mine that everything relates back to the first go-round. What kind of boat was it?"

"How the hell should I remember?" I scoffed. "It was _three _years ago. It was a boat. A big fishing boat."

"Think, Babe."

I closed my eyes and opened my mind, trying to picture the night Joe and I had crept around these docks. "I remember it had a fly bridge, and the brand name started with an "H", I think."

"Hallberg-Rassy? Hallet?" Ranger started listing off boat manufacturers.

I was dumbfounded. "You know the names of boat makers?"

"I'm a man of many talents."

I rolled my eyes. "Never mind. It was a Hatteras. The boat was a Hatteras Convertible named Sal's Gal. See it anywhere?" I jokingly shaded my eyes as if I was looking for it.

"No, but it narrows down the search. Come on let's check out this next dock."

Halfway down the pier, Ranger pointed. "Does that look like the boat?"

"Seriously, Ranger, it was _three _years ago. I don't know. I guess it could be. Does it say Sal's Gal on it?"

Ranger looked at me. "No, but take a look. It's called KD's Lady."

"So?" I was lost.

"Seems a little too coincidental to me—Sal's Gal, KD's Lady"

"Whose KD?"

"May I help the two of you?" a voice came from behind us. We turned to find an older man, probably in his late 60's, wearing coveralls and deck shoes. His white hair was covered with a cap, and his wrinkled face was not smiling.

Ranger was the first to recover. "Hello. Yes, perhaps you can help us. My name is Emilio Estebar and this here is my wife Gitty."

_Gitty_? "Er…pleased to meet you," I offered weakly.

"What are you folks doing out here?" the man asked gruffly. "These are private boats."

"Yes, we can see that. We certainly mean no harm," Ranger held out his arms in a gesture of peace. "I'm what you would call something of a collector. I collect old boats and restore them. Boats of all kinds—sail boats, pontoon boats, fishing boats, charter boats, you name it."

The man continued to stare at us.

"I got it in my head I wanted to restore a Hatteras Convertible. Gitty and I have been up and down the coastline every weekend for damn near a month now searching for just the right boat. I got to tell you this one has really caught my eye."

"It's not for sale."

Ranger laughed indulgently. "Oh, I think everyone has a price if it's the right one. Do you know how I might get a hold of the owner of—" he glanced back for a moment "KD's Lady? Cute name."

"I just told you, it's not for sale." The man took a threatening step closer to us.

"Easy, mister," Ranger lowered his voice, "We're not looking for trouble. If you say it's not available, I guess I'll have to take your word on that." He pretended to look longingly at the boat. "Sure is a damn shame. You wouldn't happen to know where I might find one like it, would you?"

"Nope. Now I suggest you get a move on. Come see me again if you have a boat you want to store. Otherwise, I don't appreciate people wandering around."

"Fair enough," Ranger responded evenly. Taking my hand, he said, "Come on, Gitty. We might still have time to stop at one more place before dinner."

"Nice meeting you," I mumbled, as we hustled back down the dock and across the parking lot to the Escalade.

"Don't talk," Ranger hissed, as we climbed into the vehicle. "Write this down: **NJ**-1234-AB."

I hastily scrawled the boat registration number on the back of the map. "What now?"

Ranger had already pulled back onto Hammonton Louis. "Call Connie. She's got contacts at the Secretary of State and that's where you register boats. Ask her to track down the title."

"What do you suppose was up with that guy back there?" I asked, as I found the phone in my bag and started dialing Connie's cell phone.

"Obviously nothing good. He's probably on the phone with the owners by now. We should have prepared better and altered our looks."

"Where the hell did you come up with a name like _Gitty_?" I laughed.

"I dated a model in New York _City_ named _Gitty_. She was mighty _pretty_," he quipped.

I was still laughing when Connie chirped into the phone. "Vincent Plum Bond Agency."

"Hey, Connie."

"Stephanie! Where the hell are you?"

"I'm with Ranger and—"

"Ranger! I can't believe you're not out there trying to help Joe. It's all over the media he's responsible for the explosion last night that killed five cops. I know it can't be true, but the police are saying they're close to having a warrant for his arrest."

My heart jumped into my throat. "Oh really?" I tried to sound casual, "Well, you know how it is, Connie. Don't believe everything you hear. Joe would never do anything criminal. Listen, I can't talk long right now, but Ranger and I need a huge favor. We need you to track down a boat registration for us. Are you ready? **NJ**-1234-AB. Got it?"

"Yeah, got it," Connie responded in a rush. "Are you after a skip? How come I don't know about it? You've got some major explaining to do, lady. When will we see your sorry face here in the office?"

"As soon as I can," I promised. "Call me back when you have the information."

We disconnected, and I turned to Ranger. "The police are saying they're close to having a warrant for Joe's arrest."

"It's all smoke. They've got nothing."

I jiggled my knee up and down nervously. "I've thought of something else worth investigating."

Ranger was busy navigating the Escalade back onto the highway. "What's that?"

"Joe said he and Dorsey were in the academy together. What's weird is I remember Dorsey being in his forties when he was assigned to the Ramirez investigation. That would have made him an awfully old rookie. Joe's like a decade younger. What did Dorsey do before signing on with the police department?"

Ranger grabbed his phone. "I'll call Hal and get him started on a computer search."

"I thought you didn't want to involve the rest of the team, unless it became necessary," I reminded him.

"And now it's necessary."

My phone rang before he could dial. It was Connie. "What'd you find out?" I asked anxiously.

"It was sold to a Jake Dorsey two and a half years ago. Does that help?"

I tried to contain my excitement. "Any other names listed?"

"Nope. What's going on, Stephanie?"

"I can't talk right now, but I promise to give you a complete rundown as soon as I can. Tell Lula I miss her and to stay out of trouble. Thanks for the help, Connie."

I turned off the phone before she could question me any further. "It's Dorsey," I confirmed to Ranger, my eyes flashing with fury. "I can hardly believe it. Dorsey's running drugs for Striker?"

"I thought it'd be Dembrowski." Ranger remained calm. "Anyone else listed on the title?"

"No."

"There's someone else," Ranger insisted. "Who's the "K" in KD's Lady? Dorsey's first name is Jake."

"Maybe it stands for Killer," I offered, only half-jokingly.

"No," Ranger shook his head. "He's not in this alone, believe me." He grabbed his phone again to call Hal. "It's time to find out everything there is to know about Mr. Dorsey."

* * *

><p>By the time we arrived back at Rangeman, Ranger was barely speaking to me. I had forced him to stop at Cluck in a Bucket for two buckets of chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, biscuits and cole slaw to take back for dinner.<p>

"How can you put that crap into your body?" he bitched as we rode the elevator back up to his living quarters.

"I guess some of us just like living on the edge," I responded dryly. The doors opened and there stood Tank and Joe.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Joe smiled, taking one of the buckets of chicken from me and giving me a peck on the cheek. "We just got back too. You must have read my mind. I'm starved."

"Come on. We can debrief while we eat." I led the way into the kitchen and put everything else down on the table. "Call Ella and tell her not to bother with dinner," I suggested to Ranger.

"You don't really believe I'm going to eat this, do you?" he asked sardonically.

"Yep. Tank too. Grab some plates, Tank."

Tank looked from me to Ranger and back again, clearly unsure of what to do. Noticing Ranger shaking his head, he shrugged and said, "I like fried chicken." He went to get the plates.

Ranger sighed loudly. We were totally disrupting his sense of order and control, but honestly, he needed to lighten up once in awhile. He stepped out of the room to inform Ella, while the rest of us dug into the food.

"Have you checked on Bob and Rex?" I asked with my mouth full of fried chicken. _God, it tasted good!_

Joe nodded, his own mouth stuffed with a biscuit. "Cal seems to have adopted Bob. When I went down to check on him, he was underneath his desk sleeping."

"He hasn't destroyed anything yet, has he?" I asked worriedly.

"Nope. I guess he's on his best visiting behavior."

Ranger returned to the kitchen and eyed the food warily. I loaded up a plate and held it in front of him. "Live dangerously, Ranger."

"Don't press your luck with my patience, Babe. Just give me the damn chicken."

"What did you find out at the marina?" Joe asked, trying to get us all back on track.

Ranger and I quickly filled Joe and Tank in on our visit to the marina, finishing with my concern regarding Dorsey's advanced age when he was in the academy. "Ranger has Hal working to see what he can find out." I finished.

"It's true. He was significantly older than the rest of us in the academy. I'd forgotten that," Joe mused. "And after my meeting with Victor Comensoli, I have a damn good idea who the "K" in KD's Lady is too."


	16. Chapter 16

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Sixteen<p>

"Let me guess," Ranger drawled, "It's the Mayor's little Nancy boy, Kennard."

"I'd bet my life on it."

"You may very well be doing just that—or at least your job."

"What makes you think it's Kennard?" I asked doubtfully. "Just because his last name starts with a K? Did Comensoli say he was involved?"

"Not directly, but—" Joe interrupted himself, "I might as well start at the beginning and tell you what happened when Tank and I met up with him this afternoon."

Joe leaned back in his chair, stretching his long legs out in front of him. With his overgrown hair and five o'clock shadow, he looked more like a crook than a cop. He also looked completely exhausted and sexy as hell. I just wanted to wrap myself around him and forget all about this mess for a moment. I needed to focus on what he was saying, but my body's needs were begging to be fulfilled. Squirming uncomfortably in my chair, I tried to concentrate.

"Comensoli was right where he said he'd be when Tank and I got to the park," Joe began. "He appeared to be alone and clearly paranoid of being followed, because the first thing he demanded was for us to move to a men's bathroom on the other side of the park. I had Tank stand guard outside, while Vic and I went in and had a pretty unbelievable conversation."

"Was the stakeout this week something devised to get you off the eight murders?" I wondered.

"Yes and no," Joe replied. "Be patient and I'll lay it all out for you."

I sighed heavily. Patience had never been my virtue, which is probably one of the reasons why I ended up fooling around with two different men. Unfortunately, Joe had patience in spades—at least in his professional life. It's what made him such a good Homicide detective. His brain worked methodically through any situation, checking out every angle and analyzing each detail. I tended to lean more toward wanting the Cliffs Notes version of everything in life.

"Vic said he was appointed to the City Commission about two years ago. At first everything was fine and he got along well with the Mayor and the other commissioners. A year ago, however, Mayor Bradley asked Comensoli to a private dinner. At the meeting, he talked about his vision for Trenton and mentioned how adequate funding for city projects always seemed to be an issue. Bradley indicated he was in the process of doing research that would allow him to generate extra income both for the city and the commissioners as well. He told Victor he expected him to be part of what he termed "Trenton's Solution" when he presented his idea to the complete board the following month."

"I think I know where you're going with this, and you've got to be shitting me," Ranger scoffed. "The Mayor of Trenton decides to smuggle heroin as a way to supplement the city's revenue? That's ludicrous."

"_Just wait_," Joe urged. "Victor said at the next meeting Bradley laid out this plan to allow Striker back into Trenton, telling the commissioners there was nothing they had to do other than reap the rewards financially. Comensoli said he and two of the other seven commissioners were appalled and refused to have anything to do with the scheme. The other four apparently agreed with the Mayor. Vic and his supporters were warned to keep quiet or there would be repercussions."

"Do you hear how crazy you sound?" Ranger sneered. "Comensoli is playing you for a fool."

"Shut up and let me talk, will you?" Joe returned forcefully. "The truth is sometimes crazier than fiction. Victor said he met privately with the other two commissioners who agreed they needed to build an internal case against the others. Now what they should have done was go immediately to the state police, but they didn't."

"Obviously something happened," I surmised.

"One of the commissioners, Vera Langford, was allegedly called to take care of an ailing parent out in California. She lived alone here in Trenton. I had Eddie check on her after my meeting with Vic, and surprise, surprise, the family out west knew nothing about a sick parent and Vera's not there. She's been missing for five months now. Evidently the family isn't too close, because how the hell do you not know someone's missing for five frickin' months! Eddie and Carl are searching nationally to find unidentified dead bodies that match her description."

Joe's eyes turned even flatter. "The second commissioner, Richard Westrate, was struck by a hit-and-run driver three months ago. He's been on life support ever since."

"Hey, I remember hearing about that!" I exclaimed excitedly. "He's a member of the same lodge as my father. There's some kind of internal battle between his children as to whether or not to pull the plug on him."

Ranger was sitting up in his seat now, clearly more attentive.

"So that leaves good old Vic, who is now shitting in his boots, because he knows Mayor Bradley is seriously whacked and taking out people who oppose him one by one. Bradley meets with him again, suggesting once more that Vic support the effort. Comensoli claims he lied to Bradley, offering his unwavering support, but Bradley obviously didn't believe him."

"So the Mayor starts gunning for Comensoli." Ranger guessed.

Joe continued, "Six weeks ago, right when the mafia-style murders started, Bradley sent Vic a message saying his dry cleaning business was looking awfully suspicious—like maybe a little more was getting cleaned there than just clothing."

"Money-laundering," I assumed.

"Right." Joe nodded. "Victor swears his location is clean, but he has a brother who owns five other locations around Trenton and he _does _have ties to the Mafia. He got scared maybe Bradley would try to link him to his brother, so he went in and started auditing his own books to make sure everything was clean. He went so far as to give all of his employees an extended leave with pay to ensure their safety. That's why the guys and I never saw any activity over there all week."

"So how does the stakeout play into this?" Ranger asked, his voice sending less confrontational.

"And what's the link to Dorsey?" I added.

Joe shrugged. "I'm not sure about Dorsey yet, but the stakeout was set-up to get us away from the murder case. They put us in the house, making it look as though we're after Comensoli, all the while intending to kill of us, including Victor. They assumed he would be at his business because he frequently works nights. As luck would have it for Victor, his wife had a migraine last night, so he stayed home to take care of her. After he heard about the explosion, he sent his wife off packing to her mother's in Virginia, and, other than our little visit today, he's been in hiding."

"So the commissioners at the hospital last night are all in this with Bradley?"

"I'm assuming so, but your guess is as good as mine," Joe ran his hands through his hair. "It's all hard to believe, I know."

"It is," Ranger agreed. "And there's a hell of a lot of unanswered questions. What's the link to the police?" Ranger questioned. "Do you think Chief Ferguson is in on this?"

"I don't know," Joe admitted. "I can't figure out if Bradley's in cahoots with Ferguson or Dorsey, or both of them or somebody else entirely. He'd almost have to have _someone_ from the police in his pocket, because how in the hell are you going to hide a massive drug smuggling operation from the cops long-term?"

"And why do you suspect Kennard?"

"He's a weasel and Bradley's puppet." Joe muttered. "I told you I've had run-ins with him before. The last time was a few weeks after the murders started. He came into my office, demanding to know what progress I'd made, claiming the Mayor was going to ride me like a bull until I found out what was going on. He said Bradley wouldn't allow _me_ to bring another black eye onto the police department or the Mayor's office."

"So it _is_ personal," Ranger nodded. "There's an agenda directed toward you somehow. They intended from the beginning to either kill you or turn you into the fall guy."

"It looks like it," Joe agreed wearily. "There are all of these clues floating around in the periphery of my mind, but nothing is connecting. Maybe I'm too fucking close to the situation to see clearly anymore."

"Or maybe you're just plain exhausted," I suggested. Looking at the clock on the wall, I saw it was approaching ten thirty. "We're _all_ tired. Let's call it quits for tonight."

I thought Joe would disagree for sure, but he nodded. "I am tired." He stood and held out his hand toward Tank. "Thanks for going with me today. I appreciated the back-up."

Tank, who had been steadily working his way single-handedly through a bucket of fried chicken and hadn't spoken a single word until now, shook Joe's hand. "No problem." As always, the men of Rangeman had such a flair for the English language.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Ranger watching as Joe took my hand and led me from the kitchen. It was still incredibly awkward to know I was sleeping in the room next to where I had played hide the salami with him not too long ago. And even though I was hopeful we had taken another step toward closure today with our conversation in the car, I still didn't feel confident he was ready to allow me to move on without him.

"I'll go check on Bob and Rex," I volunteered, giving Joe's hand a squeeze. "You go on to bed, and I'll be right in."

Joe must have been tired, because he merely nodded and headed for the bedroom. By the time I joined him ten minutes later, he was lying on his back beneath the covers and sound asleep. I don't know what else I was expecting, given the stress he was under, plus the fact he probably hadn't had more than three hours sleep the previous night. Still, my body was strung so tightly with suppressed horniness, I had no idea how _I_ was going to go to sleep. Here I had declared my undivided love to the man, and we'd barely had a chance to talk, let alone get physical. _GRRRR!_

Quickly going through my nightly routine in the bathroom, I noted Joe's t-shirt needed cleaning. I was either going to have to do some laundry tomorrow or make a run home for more clothing. Now I had nothing to wear to bed and being naked was not going to help cool off my libido. I slowly eased into the bed next to Joe and stared at the ceiling. Then the wall. Then the ceiling again. Then the other wall, although that wasn't such a good idea because now Joe was in my sight, and he looked GOOD_._ I was completely obsessed with the fact we were both naked and only inches apart.

I really didn't want to disturb him, but there was no way I was going to be able to sleep without doing _something_.

"Hurry up," Joe suddenly whispered, causing me to nearly jump through the ceiling.

"Jesus, Joe!" I held back a scream. "I thought you were sleeping."

"Just resting. I'm waiting for you to decide."

"Decide what?"

"To decide whether you want to have sex with me knowing Ranger's in the next room."

There was a little moonlight coming in from the bedroom window, and I looked over to see if Joe was angry or making fun of me. But no, he was looking decidedly friendly—in fact, _really _friendly.

Joe tugged me closer, so that I was half lying beneath him, inserting one leg between my thighs. I could feel the hardness of his arousal pushing against me intently. "I'm serious, Steph. I'm about ready to explode from wanting you this whole past week, but I don't want to make you any more uncomfortable. This whole arrangement of us being here is bizarre enough without adding more stress for you."

I was stunned. Here he was about to be framed for a crime he didn't commit—by his own people no less, _and_ he was agreeing to stay in the home of my former lover. Yet he was more concerned about whether or not I was experiencing stress.

"Does it bother _you_ he's in the next room?" I asked, running my hands up and down the sides of his torso. His skin was warm, and I could feel my body heating even more in response to the knowledge of how much he really did love me.

"I'll admit it's weird. And oddly enough, I keep trying to imagine how I would feel if the situation was reversed. I don't want to rub his face in the fact you're with me, but at the moment, I want you so badly I can't control myself." He started placing light kisses across my face, getting closer and closer to my mouth. "Tell me now if you want me to stop, Cupcake, because I'm not going to be able to in a minute."

Reaching up, I cupped his chin in my hand, capturing the depths of his eyes with my own. "Don't stop," I encouraged.

"I love you, Stephanie. You have no idea how much I love you."

"Show me."

That was all it took. Joe's mouth was on mine, and were instantly on fire for one another. Using the same soul-searing kisses he'd used a week ago in my apartment—_had it really only been a week—_his fingers immediately slipped between my folds where I wanted them most. I was already dripping wet, which excited Joe even further as he slid first one, then two, then three fingers inside me. Thrusting them in and out of my slick passage, he used his thumb to circle my clit simultaneously.

Joe moved his kisses down my neck and across my chest, until his tongue found the nipple of my right breast. My body was already on sensory overload from prolonged abstinence, and when he started timing his licks with the rhythm of his fingers, I had no control. Within seconds, my hips were bucking off the bed. I was trying hard to be quiet, but, it felt so good.

I could feel Joe smiling against my skin, as he continued to lavish kisses across my belly. Sensing his intention was to keep moving downward to give me even more pleasure, I found I didn't want to be a part any longer. I wanted to be one with Joenot just physically but emotionally as well. The thought consumed every fiber of my being until I was half crazy with wanting to show him how much I loved him.

"I want you inside me," I urged softly, trying to pull his body upward.

Joe smiled again. "Be patient. I still have a whole lot of your body left to love."

"No," I shook my head wildly, trying to catch my breath between phrases, as Joe's mouth continued its path toward the promise land. "I need to be a a part of you right now. _Right now_. Please Joe. I—I love you."

His head whipped up like a wolf catching hold of a scent. He slid up my body, until the tip of his head was poised right against my opening. Even in the dark, I could see his eyes were filled with desire for me as they locked with mine. "Say it again, Stephanie," he whispered.

I pushed my hips down, hoping to help him slide in, but he held back. The muscles of his forearms were shaking as he held himself firmly in place above me. "Say it," he begged.

It was overwhelming. Suddenly everything I'd ever fought against was right in front of me—my fears of intimacy, commitment and loss of control. It was like standing on the edge of a cliff wondering if you should jump. Just as quickly my fears were gone, replaced by the knowledge I was totally consumed by this man. I really could be Wonder Woman if I wanted, strong and capable of anything, including loving and being loved.

And so I chose to fly.

"I love you, Joe Morelli," my voice came out strong and full of passion. It was followed by a gasp as, an instant later, Joe thrust himself completely inside of me.

His playfulness was replaced by an almost animalistic need to mate. The rhythm was fast and hard—and perfect. Our eyes never left one another, as we watched each other's desire. Within minutes we were both fighting for control—and failing—reaching higher and higher, until I begged, "Now."

Over the edge we flew together, unbelievable pleasure consuming us both.

"God," Joe uttered almost prayerfully. He was still poised above me, kissing my cheeks and eyelids. "You are amazing, Stephanie. I love you so much."

He slid off to the side and gathered me into his arms. We were quiet for several minutes, content to caress one another softly. Finally Joe asked perceptively, "Are you scared?" He knew I'd just given him more than my body.

I shook my head. "Hmmm—mmm. I feel liberated."

"Liberated?"

"It's a Mary Lou thing."

"Oh. When did you talk to her?"

"Wednesday. She tried to help me sort through my thoughts."

"And the liberated part?"

"She said when you give yourself completely to someone, it's the most erotic thing in the world—and truly liberating. She was right." I snuggled closer into Joe's warm body.

"Remind me to thank her."

I smiled. "As long as it's verbal thanks. I wouldn't want you to give her a physical demonstration of the way you liberate someone."

Joe snickered against my hair. "Deal. Stephanie?"

"Hmmmm." I could feel myself being pulled closer to sleep.

"Thanks for standing behind me in this mess. I swear I'll figure it out and keep you safe so we can go home soon."

I yawned. "_We'll _figure it out. There's not a doubt in my mind. Now get some sleep."

"I don't know if I can. You seem to have energized me." He ran his hand over my belly.

I opened one eye. "Morelli—Go. To. Sleep."

Wrapping his arms around me even tighter, we both succumbed.


	17. Chapter 17

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Seventeen<p>

It was ten o'clock by the time I made my way into the kitchen Saturday morning. Dressed in my last pair of clean underwear, jeans and a long-sleeved, scoop-necked t-shirt, I felt energized both from a good night's sleep and really good sex. I felt ready to kick some government ass!

Surprisingly, there was no one around when I wandered into the kitchen, so I quickly took the opportunity to stuff my mouth with a bagel and some fresh fruit. I was just finishing up when I heard the elevator and Joe's voice calling to me, "Steph, you up?"

"Right here," I replied, walking into the living area. "Where were you?"

Joe was already showered and dressed in jeans and a button-down chambray shirt. He looked tense, but was trying to play it cool. "I was downstairs with Cal and Hal. It's going to be a miracle if Bob is willing to come home with us. Those two are treating him like a friggin' prince."

"Something's happened," I sensed immediately.

He pulled me toward the couch and sat down. "A lot's happened. Ranger got a call early this morning from some low-level secretary in Mayor Bradley's office, saying Rangeman had been requested to provide security for the viewing tomorrow night at Stiva's and the funeral on Monday afternoon for our guys. He's down at City Hall right now having a meeting with the other independent security agencies hired and whomever else the Mayor put together for the job. I'm hoping Kennard is a part of the team, so Ranger can keep an eye on him."

"Why just one viewing and one service?"

"The official line from the Mayor's office is the officers died together, thus they should be honored together."

"Hunh. I wonder how the families feel about that."

"They're not being given a choice. Bradley is going to manipulate this event to suit his purpose."

"Which is?"

"To lure me out of the woodwork. He's counting on me wanting to attend the visitation and funeral to honor my fellow officers, and he'll use it as an opportunity to have someone try to kill me. My guess is if he's not successful, he'll use manufactured evidence to frame me for Thursday night's deaths and probably the other eight murders as well."

"He wants to kill you to keep you quiet." I stated the obvious.

"Sure. Victor Comensoli and I are the only two left who can implicate anyone. We didn't accommodate him by being in the explosion, so now he's doing damage control."

"Where's the Mayor getting the authority to run the show? He's not the police."

"That's my next little bit of news for the day. The police department is completely fucked up. Hal gave Ranger the work-up he did on Dorsey this morning. Get this— turns out this isn't Dorsey's first gig as a police officer. He was part of the Concord PD out in California for ten years under the name of Jacob Dorsee. Apparently, he was fired fourteen years ago for stealing drugs from the evidence room and selling them to moles on the street in exchange for information. While he was let go, he was never prosecuted."

"You're shitting me!" I was dumbfounded. "How did he fall through the cracks like that? Didn't the Trenton PD at least run a background check on him when he applied for the academy? And how the hell was Hal able to get the information?"

Joe grimaced. "I'm sure I don't want to know how knowledge is obtained here at Rangeman. It's embarrassing to know the TPD missed all of this, and I'm having to trust people who don't exactly operate within the law for reliable information."

"So Jacob Dorsee got fired and created a new persona—Jake Dorsey. He moved to Trenton, started over as a rookie here, and worked his way up through the system, until he was helping the Mayor to run a heroin operation in Trenton that no one knows about except us. We sound like lunatics, Morelli." I gave a nervous laugh.

"I know. But there are a lot more cops involved than just Dorsey," Joe said. "I've been rolling around different scenarios in my mind, and I've got a theory. Dorsey works in Internal Affairs, right? That's where they keep tabs on everyone on the entire force. If there's something to know about a cop, IA knows about it—whether it's personal or professional. What if Dorsey was purposefully put in IA to be used as a mole for Bradley?"

"Go on," I still wasn't quite getting it.

"Bradley gets Dorsey hired into IA. Dorsey starts digging through personnel files. He finds a little dirt on a cop—like maybe he's had a problem with alcohol, or a domestic dispute, or anything else for that matter. What if he uses that information to blackmail said cop into working with him on the drug operation for Bradley."

"Working how?"

"I haven't figured that out yet, but certainly the least of it would be turning a blind eye to what's happening. And in exchange, the cop gets a cut of the income."

"Who do you think he might have blackmailed?" I asked, still questioning whether this made any sense.

"It could be anyone. I don't know what's in personnel files, but I got to believe Dorsey has a separate set of files at home to keep track of those he's blackmailed. We need copies of those records to help prove who's in on this."

I looked at him scornfully, "And how exactly are you going to obtain those files? The police aren't going to give _you_ a search warrant, and you can't steal it because the evidence would never stand up in court."

Joe stood and started pacing. "I know it, but if we could get copies of the records and put together a case, we might be able to show it to the state police or possibly the FBI. If either organization believes us, a legal search warrant could be obtained to get the real records."

"You of all people aren't suggesting we do illegal breaking and entering, are you?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

The elevator opened before he could respond, and Ranger, along with Tank, entered the room.

Joe stopped pacing and immediately asked, "How'd it go?"

Ranger walked across the room and sat down on the chair next to the couch. He was in his professional attire, wearing black slacks, a deep purple silk shirt and a narrow silk tie of the same color. Tank stood at attention next to him, wearing his Rangeman uniform.

Ignoring Joe's question, he asked, "Have you brought Stephanie up to speed on what we learned this morning about Dorsey as well as the plan for the visitation and funeral services?" I noticed Ranger hadn't looked at me since stepping out of the elevator.

Joe nodded. "Was Kennard at your meeting?"

Ranger looked grim. "Yeah. His first announcement was to publicize the unfortunate and untimely death of City Commissioner Vic Comensoli last night."

"_What_!" I gasped, practically falling off the couch. Oh my God! My brain immediately started going in a million different directions—and none of them were good.

"Fuck!" Joe exploded, swinging his fist down on top of the couch behind which he was standing. "What happened?"

"He was found in an alley near where his dry cleaners used to be. Shot in the forehead."

Morelli had the same desolate look on his face as he had Thursday night—survivor's guilt. He started prowling the room again. "I should've known this would happen. I should _never _have allowed him out of my sight after our meeting yesterday. Now there's no one else to testify."

Shot in the head just like the others. I couldn't stop thinking about Comsenoli's poor wife. _That could be me if Joe's not careful. _I could be the one in mourning. I felt ill at the thought of how much danger Morelli was really facing. "I guess there's no question Victor was telling Joe the truth yesterday," I remarked in a rather shaky voice.

Joe sat down and put his elbows on his knees, clasping his head between his hands. "What about Kennard?" he asked dejectedly.

Ranger leaned forward. "He ran the meeting on the Mayor's behalf, laying out where the police wanted security at Stiva's tomorrow night and the church on Monday." He looked at Morelli intently. "I think your instinct about him being involved has merit—not because he's done anything necessarily suspicious, but because he seems to wield an awful lot of power on the Mayor's behalf. It would seem likely he'd be privy to anything involving the Mayor. Plus, we're still looking for the "K" in KD's Lady, and no one else seems to fit the bill."

"I'm sure he's involved," Joe said with an almost defeated-sounding sigh.

"I'm _not _as convinced however that your friend Dembrowski isn't involved too. I know you say you two go way back, but he's still a direct link to the Kulesza/Alpha case. You can't afford to overlook him. I've asked Hal to see what he can dig up on both him and Kennard."

"Alright," Joe agreed. He seemed to have lost his drive. I could tell he was feeling responsible for Comensoli's death, and I was starting to wonder what emotional toll this whole nightmare was going to have on him when all was said and done—if anything _could _be done. For the first time, I was actually scared the bad guys were going to win, unless we could start piecing evidence together faster.

Ranger sensed the shift in Morelli's mood as well. "What were you two discussing when we walked in a minute ago."

"Joe's got in his head we need to break into Dorsey's house to see if he has any files hidden there listing the police officers he's blackmailed."

"That's good thinking."

"You can't be serious!" I exclaimed. "He's a cop, Ranger. An illegal search like that could get him fired."

"Like he's not on the road to being fired already—or worse," Ranger challenged. His voice was matter-of-fact, and I noticed he still hadn't looked me in the eye. "Relax. Tank can take care of this, and I know the perfect time."

"During the viewing tomorrow night," Joe surmised immediately, perking up a bit. For two people who didn't like each other, they certainly seemed to be on the same wavelength more times than not. I, on the other hand, was always about two steps behind them both.

Ranger nodded. "Here's what I'm thinking. You should go to the viewing with Stephanie. With me, Hal, Cal and several of my other guys working security, we can watch your back. This will give you a chance to sniff around and see who rises to the bait of you being there."

"No way! He'll be like a sitting duck," I protested vigorously, knowing Joe would object to my being there as well.

"Manoso's right," Joe surprised me. "Between the two of us someone is bound to make either a move or a comment. We should take the chance."

"Exactly," Ranger agreed. "In the meantime, Tank will head over to Dorsey's place to do a search for evidence. If he finds anything, I'll have him take pictures."

Joe frowned. "I really hate having anyone do something illegal on my behalf even though I'm sure you all do it frequently when you're working. When I'm not involved, I can turn a blind eye, but now—"

"You're running out of options," Ranger said assertively.

Reluctantly I had to agree with Ranger, although I was still trying to figure out his sudden emotional detachment from me. _Had he heard Joe and me last night in the bedroom? _My cheeks flushed at the thought.

Forcing myself to concentrate, I realized Joe _was_ running out of options, and, like it or not, we needed to start taking some calculated risks before he was either arrested or assassinated. "We'll both need clothing," I remarked, showing my support for the plan. "I'm out of clean things already, plus I'll need a dresses for the visitation and funeral."

"I can sneak out tonight when it's dark," Joe said, taking my hand and squeezing it as a way of showing his appreciation. "I wanted to try and set up a meet with Eddie and Carl anyway. They're trying to see what they can dig up down at the police department. "We still don't know what the eight murder have to do with all of this. We also don't know where the drugs are being stored and about a million other details."

"I'll go with you for back-up," Tank offered, reminding us of his presence. I was always shocked when he contributed to the conversation.

"You also need to be thinking about whom you could trust at the state and federal level with all of this should you be able to develop a concrete case to give them," Ranger pointed out. "Do you have contacts with either?"

"At the state level, yes, but not with the Feds." Joe turned to me. "I'll call my buddy from the NYPD who gave us the Mets tickets and see if he has any ideas."

"I just thought of something," I announced uneasily.

"What?" all three men asked simultaneously.

"Grandma Mazur." I rolled my eyes. "You know she's going to be there tomorrow night. She NEVER misses a visitation. I don't want to put her in any danger."

"Fuck," Joe groaned. "You're right. Do you think if Ranger makes contact with your mom, he can convince her to keep your grandma at home somehow?"

I looked at Joe as if he was clearly insane. "First off, if _anyone _but me makes contact with my mom, she's going to freak out. I'm sure she's already convinced I'm dead. If anything, she'll be there _along with _Grandma Mazur. Secondly, this will be like the social event of the century for my grandma and her friends. That place will be crawling with old people, along with every cop and concerned citizen of New Jersey—let along Trenton. Quite frankly, I don't know what the Mayor is thinking having it at Stiva's. They're not going to be able to handle the crowds."

Joe and Ranger exchanged a sharp look. "She's right," Joe said tensely. "What do you think Bradley's up to there? Did you get any indication at the meeting today?"

"Kennard made it clear in the city's mind this is a local tragedy. Everything will be handled at the local level, including the apprehension of their prime suspect—you."

"He's marking his territory, because he's terrified another governmental agency is going to start sniffing. No wonder they're so intent on finding and eliminating me. They're doing serious damage control."

"We can refine our plan tomorrow after you've met with Carl and Eddie," Ranger suggested. "If I hear from Hal about Kennard or Dembrowski beforehand, I'll let you know. In the meantime, I have other Rangeman work to do." He stood to leave and motioned for Tank to follow him. He allowed his eyes to momentarily meet mine, but they were distant. Without a word, the two men left the room.

Joe was still sitting on the couch strategizing in his brain. It wasn't even Noon on Saturday. I couldn't imagine how the two of us were going to wait patiently until tomorrow night's viewing. I don't think Joe picked up on the awkwardness between Ranger and me. He was too upset over Victor Comensoli's death and the possibility of his own demise. And what in the hell was going on with Ranger anyway? Too many unanswered questions were making me antsy—and hungry.

"I'm going to bake," I announced, standing up.

"You're going to _what_!"

"Bake," I repeated. "I'm going to bake cookies or something."

"_Why_?" Joe asked incredulously. "And for that matter _how_? I don't think there's a drop of sugar in this entire godforsaken building."

"I'm sure Ella must have something," I reasoned. "I'm going to go find her and ask. I need to do something to keep my mind occupied, or else I'll go nuts by tomorrow night."

"Do you even know _how_ to bake?" he asked doubtfully. "The last thing we need right now is a visit from the fire department."

"Ha. Ha." I returned, my eyes narrowing. "Of course I can bake. Every girl in the Burg knows how to bake." Well at least most of the girls did. I'd unfortunately failed home economics in high school when the fire department _had _been forced to make a visit. I'd sworn then never to set foot in a kitchen again as long as I lived except to pull leftovers from my mother's kitchen out of the fridge. But I wasn't about to let that stop me. I wanted a goddamn cookie, and if the only way to get one—in what I was beginning to think of as my sugarless prison—was to bake one, then I would goddamn well bake one."

Joe stood up too and wrapped his arms around me, pressing his lower body against my own. "If you're looking for something to do…"

While _that _sounded like a mighty good distraction too, I knew Joe's heart wasn't entirely into it. He needed time to himself to absorb all that was happening in his life—the original murder cases, the murders of his fellow cops and his own possible termination. Besides I was having residual guilt over having slept with Joe while Ranger was in the next room. Whether he had heard us or not, it still seemed pretty tactless to be doing something so intimate in _his _home, while we had barely shut the door on our own relationship. I may not be in love with him, but I felt like I owed him some respect too.

Giving Joe a slow, lingering kiss, I followed it with a swat on the best ass in Trenton. "While it's tempting, go and do your own thing for awhile. Call Carl and Eddie—whatever. You've ignited my competitive spirit. You _will_ be eating some of my delicious cookies for dessert tonight, that I can promise."

* * *

><p>"I'm really, really sorry," I apologized to Ranger for what seemed like the millionth time. We were standing in his kitchen, staring at every possible surface now covered in foam from the three extinguishers it had taken to put out the fire in his oven. Thankfully, the fire department hadn't been called, but the oven was indeed toast, and it would take hours to clean up the mess.<p>

Ranger looked at me with a pained expression. "Babe, are you _trying _to push me over the edge?"

"No!" I protested fervently, and then added lamely, "I just wanted a cookie."

It was nine o'clock. By the time I'd found Ella for cookie-making ingredients, searched for a recipe, eaten lunch, taken a nap, watched the latest news on Joe and the cop murders and eaten dinner, I hadn't gotten around to baking until after Joe had left with Tank to meet with Carl and Eddie and to get clothes for the two of us.

Evidently, I was not meant to bake, because the dough had looked more like dog poo than anything remotely edible. And how was I supposed to know you couldn't leave the room to check on your animals when you're baking? Okay, maybe I'd been gone close to an hour. _But still…_

When I came up from downstairs, I'd found Ranger's living quarters fully engulfed in smoke and the man himself spraying the oven down with an extinguisher. The fact it had taken two more to completely eliminate the flames was probably not a good sign. Neither was the majorly pissed look on his face. He actually looked a lot like Joe used to look when he was upset with me for getting involved with a dangerous FTA. _Hunh!_

"And you needed a cookie, because…" Ranger was still frowning at me.

"Because there isn't a goddamn sweet thing in this _entire _place, Ranger."

"For Christ's sake, Stephanie. You can't live without sugar for a couple of fucking days?" Ranger was now glaring. "You have real food issues, you know that?"

"_I _have food issues," my eyebrows shot up. "This coming from the man who could barely choke down a piece of fried chicken last night because it wasn't green and leafy. And I said I was sorry for ruining your kitchen. I'll buy you a new oven, I swear."

"That's not the point. You couldn't accept the fact there's nothing sweet in this house. You couldn't just be patient and wait. You had to push and push until you got your own goddamn way, made a mess, and now once again I'm left to clean up after you."

I looked at him, realizing we weren't talking about cookies any longer.

"Ranger?"

He turned and really looked at me for the first time today. "You never gave me a chance, Babe, and deep down, I don't think you ever intended to give me one. You pushed me into admitting feelings for you and never even took the time to think about how hard it was for me to do." He looked annoyed with himself for admitting his feelings. "_You _may have moved on in your heart, but I'm still trying to process everything. It's hard to accept not having you as part of my future—worse yet to see you and Morelli in my face all the time right now."

"But you said you didn't want a future," I protested in frustration.

"I know what I said!"

My voice gentled. "You're right. I haven't handled any of this very well. I owe you an apology for not taking your feelings into consideration. I've always thought of you as having complete control of your emotions. It never occurred to me I might hurt you this deeply. Will you please forgive me?"

"I'd rather kiss you," Ranger's voice lowered seductively. "In fact, there are _a lot _of things I can think of I'd like to do with you right now." He actually laughed as I rolled my eyes. "Give me time, Babe. I want to forgive you. I want to be your friend. I just don't know if I can. I hate losing and _especially_ to fucking Morelli."

I wisely kept my mouth shut on that subject and instead offered, "I'll get started on cleaning up this mess."

Ranger made a motion with his hand. "Leave it. I'll have Ella arrange for a cleaning crew to come in Monday morning."

I reached over and gave Ranger a kiss on the cheek. "I really am sorry, Ranger—for everything. Thank you for still being willing to clean up my messes." I hastily retreated to the bedroom.

* * *

><p>Rolling over to squint at the clock, I saw through bleary eyes it was 1 a.m. A sense of panic overtook me when I realized Joe wasn't beside me. What if he and Tank had run into trouble tonight? Crawling out of the bed, I fumbled around for something to put on, since I had once again been sleeping naked. I settled for the blue jeans I'd had on earlier and a clean t-shirt from Joe's bag. I needed to find Ranger to see if he'd heard anything.<p>

Out in the hallway, I could hear voices coming from the living area. It was Joe and Ranger. Relief swept through me, as I continued to creep down the corridor. I don't know what kept me from barging into the room. Instead I held back and strained to listen.

Ranger's voice, "So Eddie thinks he can link Dorsey to every one of those men that were murdered—all eight of them?"

I could hear Joe shifting in his seat. I could also smell beer in the air. "Not quite all eight yet, but he's getting close. He's got at least five connected. Eddie's been looking through old files whenever no ones around. Turns out several of these guys that were murdered were arrested for drug possession by Dorsey during his first few years on the force."

"What do Eddie and Carl make of it?"

"Like I said they're still looking, but what _I _think is Dorsey has been stringing these guys for a long time. He's probably blackmailed them too by telling him he'd keep them out of prison in exchange for something."

"Why would he kill them now?"

"My guess is it has to do with the drugs from Striker. They were probably working for him somehow. Maybe transporting it? I don't have a read on that part of it yet."

They were silent for a moment, and then Ranger asked, "How do you want to run things at the viewing?"

"Not much we can prepare for, since I have no idea who all of my enemies are right now. It could be half of the police force for all I know."

"You're taking a hell of a risk showing your face there. You know that, right?"

"Sure, but we both agree it's the only way to start shaking something loose. I'm operating on borrowed time here."

"Yeah."

More silence.

"And Stephanie?"

Joe sighed. "My heart tells me I want her as far away from that place as possible, but my head knows she could be invaluable. They won't hesitate to use her to get to me. She's smart enough to sense danger now. I trust her."

I put a fist to my mouth to keep from saying anything; surprised by the sudden tears I felt burning in the back of my eyes. I'd never realized how important it was to me to have Joe's unconditional belief I was capable. If that wasn't surprising enough, I about fell over when Ranger said, "You really love her don't you? This isn't some game we've got going."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. They were actually talking about me and not using fists—at least not yet. I could only attribute it to the fact it was the middle of the night, and they were drinking beer. Fully expecting Joe to tell him to mind his own business, I was shocked when he sounded almost relieved to have been asked the question. "I think I've loved her for over half of my life."

A longer period of silence this time, and then Joe's voice again, "It kills me to even say this, but you love her too, don't you."

Ranger didn't answer right away. When he did, it was with a reluctant voice. "Yeah. I do."

"I've spent so much time hating your fucking guts lately, Manoso. I keep trying to remember all you're doing for me, but then I remember how I've felt all these months and even longer knowing you were with her. I don't want to like you."

"Understood," Ranger returned. "I hate that she's chosen you. I don't think you're the right fit."

Joe actually laughed. "And you are?"

"Maybe not," Ranger agreed. "But I want her to be happy."

"Even if it's with me?"

Long pause and a heavy sigh. "I don't know. Are you going to allow her to remain friends with me?"

Joe laughed louder and harder this time. "We are talking about Steph, right? Nobody _allows _her to do anything." Short pause. "Are you going to try and get her to cheat?"

"No, but I can't promise I'd stop her either if she wanted it."

"You're a piece of shit, Manoso," Joe accused.

"And you're an arrogant ass, Morelli."

_Oh man, here we go._

They both must have finished their beers, because I could hear the bottles clinking on the glass tabletop. "Maybe I am at that," Joe agreed. The leather couch made a squeaking sound as he stood up. "I'm turning in."

I quickly made my way back down the hall, stripped off my clothes and slid back beneath the covers, feigning sleep. Joe made his way into the room and did the same. Wrapping an arm around my waist, he wrapped his warm body around me. I was sure he'd try to initiate something to somehow stake his claim after the conversation with Ranger. Instead, he leaned in, gave a soft kiss on my shoulder and whispered, "I'm the goddamned luckiest man in the world, Cupcake. Don't doubt I'll ever forget it."

And with that he went to sleep, leaving me to ponder just what exactly had transpired tonight between the three of us.


	18. Chapter 18

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Eighteen<p>

"You were right. This place is a fucking zoo."

It was Sunday night, seven o'clock, and Joe and I were sitting in Ranger's Turbo down the street from Stiva's. The line of mourners at the funeral home was already snaking out the building and almost as far down as our car was parked, which had to be at least 500 feet away. The tinted windows gave us an element of privacy, and I was thankful for the brief moment of sanity before we made our way into that nightmare of people.

"You about ready," Joe turned his face away from the window and watched me check my make-up one last time. Despite the fact he looked like he'd just stepped off the pages of GQ magazine, he was in complete cop mode. Morelli always complained he looked like a casino pit boss when he put on a suit, but I thought he looked nothing short of gorgeous.

I, on the other hand, looked downright frumpy in a baggy-looking, blue knit dress. I hadn't worn it in years—and with good reason. When Joe showed it to me that morning, I'd pitched a fit, until he reminded me I'd be wearing a wire beneath my clothing. Ranger had secured wires for both of us and planned to have his man Hector out in a van in the parking lot both listening and recording all of our conversations that night.

"Just about." I swiped on more mascara. "This wire is bugging me though." It was glued to the skin just below my breasts, and I fidgeted yet again. "Why couldn't I just wear a suit jacket like you?"

"I told you I couldn't find one in that mess of a closet of yours," he said impatiently. I could tell he was nervous too, because his eyes kept darting back to look out the window at the crowd. "The bracelet fit okay?"

"Yeah, although I don't understand why you have me wearing this either?" I examined the chunky gold Scarab bracelet on my wrist.

"It looks nice with the dress."

"Whatever," I muttered, tossing the mascara wand back into my bag. "I'm ready."

"I don't suppose you'd consider taking the car and heading back to RangeMan, would you?"

My eyes narrowed to slits. "I don't suppose you'd consider giving up your caveman tendencies?"

One corner of his mouth curled slightly. "I just wish Hal had been able to provide us with reports on Kennard and Dembrowski before we all left tonight."

"If you're that uneasy, we should both go back."

"I have to start taking a few more chances, or else they're going to find a way to end this, and it won't be pretty however they choose to do it."

"Fine, then let's do it." I put my hand on the door handle, but Joe put his hand on my thigh. "Stephanie, you have to promise me if you even feel the slightest bit uneasy, you'll push the panic button on your phone."

Ranger had given us new cell phones that morning. They were programmed for us to be able to let the RangeMan team know if we were in danger.

"I will, Mother," I teased lightly. "I'm not the one you should be worrying about. They're after you—not me."

"And they'll stop at nothing to get me either." He leaned over and kissed me gently on the mouth. "That includes using anyone who means anything to me. No one means more to me than you, Cupcake. They know that. They're counting on it."

I kissed him back more forcefully, ignoring his words. "We're liable to get separated by the crowd in there. Let's plan to meet back here at nine if we lose each other."

"I don't want to lose you," Joe said with surprising intensity. "Not in there tonight. Not ever."

I tried to give him a carefree grin, but it came out looking more like a grimace. "You need to be careful too, okay?"

Giving my lips one more caress with his own, he said in a cocky voice, "Not careful—smart. I _am_ smart, and tonight I'm going to prove it. Let's go."

We got out of the car and made our way toward the funeral home. Taking my hand, Joe bypassed the long line of viewers outside and headed down the sloping service drive and around the back of the building to the employee entrance. The way the funeral home was laid out we were actually below ground level. We slipped through the door and made our way upstairs to the viewing rooms.

"I sure could go for one of those delicious homemade chocolate chip cookies of yours right about now," Joe teased as we climbed the stairs, trying in his own way to calm us both. He'd been teasing me about my cooking debacle all day. His hand was on the small of my back, and he lowered it a few inches to pinch my ass.

"Har. Har." I grumbled, although I couldn't help but smile. We made it to the main lobby area and stopped in awe.

To say it was wall-to-wall people was an understatement. I was surprised the fire department wasn't there to issue a violation of the fire safety code. There were cops everywhere—most in plain clothes, as they would save their dress blues for tomorrow's service. But a cop's a cop, no matter how you dress them. It's in their eyes and the way they carry themselves. Every one of them noticed Joe immediately, but not a single person came forward to greet him. A few nodded their heads or gave brief smiles of acknowledgement, but most were terrified to be associated with him. Even if they knew he was innocent, they weren't about to risk their own careers or safety. I could see Joe making an effort to meet the eyes of each person, quietly assessing each of his coworkers and letting them know he was strong both physically and emotionally.

Half of the Burg was in attendance as well as hundreds of people I'd never seen in my life. Neither Ranger nor any other member of his team was in sight, and I immediately began to scan the crowd looking for Grandma Mazur.

There were three viewing rooms at Stiva's, and they had the five murdered cops laid out among all three rooms. In addition to the viewing line, the people who had already gone through the line were still loitering causing more confusion.

"What do we do?" I leaned closer to Joe's ear in order for him to hear me above the noise of the crowd.

"Let's make our way into each room. I want to pay my respects to the widows and see who all is here."

Taking my hand again, he led me into the first viewing room. Joe's eyes showed a hint of sadness as he said, "They've got Hoose and McKay in there."

"How can you tell?" I asked. "All of the caskets are closed."

He nodded toward the two women standing in front of the side-by-side caskets. One of them—a tall redhead—was obviously in the latter stage of pregnancy. My stomach twisted when I saw her bravely shaking the hands of each person who had come to pay respect to her husband. The other woman, a petite blonde was busy doing the same. I couldn't even begin to imagine the courage it took to handle the horror and grief they must be experiencing.

Joe made his toward the two women. McKay's wife noticed us first. She politely excused herself from the person with whom she was talking and reached over to take the hand of the blonde, motioning toward Joe.

"Jillian. Kristy." He leaned in and gave each woman a kiss on the check. "I hate this. I hate standing here with you when I know I should've been there with your husbands." My body shuddered at his words.

Kristy took his hand. "We don't believe a word of this bullshit they're spreading about you, Morelli. You'd _never_ do the things they're saying."

"Who's doing the talking?" I asked, inching my way forward a bit.

Jillian raised her eyebrows at me, until Joe put his arm around my waist and said, "This is Stephanie Plum, my…" He looked aggrieved. "I never know what the hell to call you."

The two women actually laughed. "So this is Stephanie? Oh, we've heard _all _about you." _Hunh! What have they heard? _"She's your _everything_." Kristy teased with a grin.

Joe blushed. I would never understand the intricacies of being involved with a cop. It was so much more than a job. It was a way of life, and the people who lived it were more than coworkers. They were family. And families knew each other's business. The wives and girlfriends were an extension of that family, which was clearly evident by the way Kristy and Jillian were responding to Joe. It made me smile to know Morelli had obviously spoken of me among his people.

I shook the hands of both women. "I'm truly sorry about your husbands. Joe's told me they were good cops."

Kristy wiped a tear from her eye, nodding her thanks.

Joe tried to bring the conversation back on track. "Who _has _been talking to you?"

Jillian took a quick scan of the room before answering in a lower voice. "All of us wives have received several visits from the Mayor's office. He keeps sending his little lackey, Luke Kennard."

Kristy rolled her eyes. "He _says _it's to check on us and to make sure we're doing okay. But most of the time, he pumps us for information."

"Like what?" I interjected.

"He seems intent on finding out if the guys ever talked to us about the case they were on," Jillian offered.

"And then he always asks about whether or not Joe's tried to make contact with us. He _really _wants to talk with you, from what he's told us." Kristy added.

Morelli and I exchanged glances. "We'll let you get back to the receiving line." Joe gave them each a hug.

Turning to leave, we came face-to-face with Grandma Mazur and Lula.

"There you are!" Grandma smiled at us broadly. She was dressed in an old-fashioned cop's uniform—complete with cap, Billy club and gun holster, including the gun. I prayed the gun was a fake, but I had a sinking feeling it wasn't. The whole get-up must have come from a local costume shop because she looked like she was about to go trick-or-treating.

Clearing my throat, I tried to look casual. "Hey, Grandma. Lula." I looked anxiously at Joe. "Uh, Grandma…what's with the outfit?"

"I'm showing my cop solidarity." Grandma clacked her patent leather heels together and saluted Joe. "You doing alright, Officer? It seems you're in a heap of trouble." Then she looked at me with a frown. "Your mother is so shook up over all this; she's becoming an all-out lush. I had to call Lula for a ride over here tonight."

Lula was still channeling her inner-Ranger and wearing head-to-toe black, including her nail polish. "Girl, we've been looking _everywhere_ for you two. The whole Burg's been on the lookout. I've been telling them you're probably staying at Batman's, but—"

I shook my head and gave her a look that clearly indicated 'shut up'.

Joe tried to smile, but I could see he was busy looking around the room again. "Stephanie and I really need to make our way to the other viewing rooms."

"We'll come with you," Grandma offered.

"No!" Backing off, he added, "I mean thanks, but it would be best for us to do this on our own."

"Nonsense," Grandma shook her head and her cap slipped over her right eye. "It's a madhouse in here. I'm so short; I can't even see where I'm going. I can't even find the refreshment table."

She tried to grab a hold of Joe's belt beneath his suit coat in order to follow him through the crowd, but dislodged the wire hooked to his pants instead. It fell to the floor, and Lula accidentally put all two hundred plus pounds of her weight onto it, effectively smashing it to bits.

"Shit!" Joe exclaimed, quickly reaching down to try and retrieve it.

"Oops! My bad, Morelli." Lula looked frantic. She was nervous enough being around a roomful of cops and now had upset the biggest and baddest one in Trenton.

I felt another presence behind me and turned to find Mayor Bradley and Chief of Police Ferguson standing there.

"Ladies," Bradley acknowledged us pleasantly. "If you'll excuse Morelli here, the Chief and I would like to have a word with him outside. What's that in your hand, Detective?"

Joe immediately slipped the damaged wire into his suit coat pocket. "I've got nothing to say to either of you. I'm here to pay my respects, and then Stephanie and I are leaving."

Chief Ferguson shook his salt-and-pepper head. "It's long past time we've had a chat about your whereabouts the past few days. You can either come outside, or I can have you arrested and taken down to headquarters. Your choice."

Grandma Mazur had fury in her eyes. "I won't stand by and let you talk to Stephanie's man like he's some kind of criminal. Joseph Morelli's a good cop. You ought to be ashamed at the way you've treated him."

Lula looked ready to pass out but bravely added her two cents. "That's right. Leave him alone. Morelli's okay for a cop. Go bother somebody else."

Bradley stepped forward, trying to take Joe's arm. "Let's go, Morelli."

Lula pushed her way in between the two of them. "I _said _leave him alone."

"Listen, fatty." Bradley narrowed his eyes. "This is police business. I suggest you move."

Lula raised herself up to her complete height. "I know you didn't just call me fat, because I am NOT fat. I am a full-figured woman who is not afraid to beat your sorry ass into the ground. _You_ are not the police."

"Lula—" Joe and I interrupted simultaneously.

"_He _may not be the police, but _I _am," Ferguson said forcefully. "Now move." He bumped into Lula to get her to move to the side.

Grandma Mazur shook her Billy club in the air and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Police brutality! Police brutality!"

"Gun!" Another man's voice bellowed above the crowd. _Who was that?_

Suddenly everyone got panicky hearing Grandma's shouts and the threat of a gun. Not knowing what was happening, people started pushing one another toward the doors. It was like a stampede at Target on Black Friday. My body was pulled along with the masses. Looking back, I saw Grandma on the floor and Lula trying to shield her with her body. Joe, Bradley and Ferguson were nowhere to be seen.

"Stop!" I shouted at anyone who would listen. "I need to get back in there. Please!" _Where was Ranger? Cal? Hal? Anyone! _I tried to reach into my purse to hit the panic button, but the pushing of the crowd was so intense, I couldn't even move my arms.

They pushed me clear out to the lobby. Frantically I grabbed onto the newel post of the stairwell leading downstairs and held on while people continued to rush past me. _What the hell had just happened in there? _I let go of the post to try and fight my way back when someone grabbed my hand from behind and started dragging me down the stairs. _Dembrowski!_

"Gus!" I exclaimed, trying to make sense of why he was suddenly here with me.

"Shut up, Stephanie," he commanded. "Do NOT talk right now and don't you dare scream." He hastily pulled me out the back of Stiva's and shoved me into the rear of a waiting unmarked van. To my horror, Joe was already slumped on the floor against the wall with Bradley and Ferguson seated next to him. It was dim, but I could see Joe had a bruise on his temple and looked unconscious. Glancing up at the driver's seat, I was terrified to see Jake Dorsey behind the wheel.

"What's going on?" I demanded, trying to sound a hell of a lot braver than I felt. "What've you done to Joe?"

I tried to crawl across the floor of the van to him, but Dembrowski pulled me back. "Sit still and hand me your purse." When I hesitated, he shouted, "Do it, Stephanie!"

With a shaking hand, I handed my bag over to Dembrowski who quickly dumped the contents onto the floor. Using a flashlight, he quickly found my cell phone and tossed it up to Dorsey in the front seat. "Throw it out the window," he commanded.

"Gus?" I tried again, my throat dry from fear. "I can't believe you'd do this. What are you thinking?"

"Shut up!" Ferguson commanded. "Search her for a wire."

Dembrowski reached over to pat me down.

"Touch her, and I'll fucking kill you," Joe spoke in a deadly voice. _Okay, so apparently he wasn't unconscious_. "What the fuck are you thinking, Dembrowski? You're a goddamn drug dealer now?"

"I don't think you're in the position to be giving threats, Morelli," Mayor Bradley said coolly.

"And I don't think you have any idea what I'm capable of."

Ferguson laughed. "You've always amused me with that Italian temper of yours, Morelli. However, you'd be wise to shut up."

Dembrowski once again reached over and placed his hands on my body.

Joe was across the floor in a heartbeat and on top of Dembrowski, pushing him back so that Gus' head whacked against the side of the van. Before he could get in a punch, Bradley and Ferguson had him by the arms. Ferguson quickly whipped out a pair of handcuffs and slapped them on Joe's wrists. "I told you we should have cuffed him immediately," Ferguson huffed at the Mayor. "I guess we're going to be adding assaulting an officer to your list of charges, aren't we Morelli."

"Fuck you!" Joe spat in his face.

"Stop," I pleaded.

Dembrowski quickly slid his hands over my body, locating the wire. Reaching up under the dress, he pulled it from my skin, brushing his hand against my breast in the process. He smashed the wire against the floor rendering it useless.

I was mortified.

"I swear I'll kill you for that, Dembrowski," Joe seethed.

Gus remained silent, not looking Joe in the face.

"Where are you taking us?" I quickly interjected before anyone tried to harm Joe again.

"We're headed down to police headquarters, Ms. Plum. It's time we all had a nice long chat about what's been going on the past few days." Bradley stated calmly.

"Is Morelli under arrest?"

"Stephanie," Joe commanded quietly. He gave a subtle shake of his head, indicating I shouldn't say anything more.

Ignoring him, I persisted, "Why am I here? I have nothing to do with any of this."

"You just happen to wear a wire every time you go to Stiva's?" Ferguson sneered. "You're now in danger of being arrested for aiding and abetting a criminal."

"But he hasn't been charged with anything!"

Dorsey slammed on the breaks, and the van came to a jerking halt.

"What's going on?" Bradley shouted up to Dorsey.

The rear doors were yanked open to reveal Luke Kennard standing there in a grey, three-piece suit and pointing a Smith and Wesson Magnum 500 revolver. "Drop your weapons and get out—all of you. You too, Dembrowski."

"What the hell!" Bradley exclaimed. "What the fuck are you doing, Luke?"

"I said get out—now!" Kennard waved the gun. By now, Dorsey had made his way around to the back of the van and was standing next to Kennard.

Slowly the men slid their weapons to the floor of the van, and we all stepped out. I was shocked to find we were standing on Stark St. in front of Jimmy Alpha's old office. Dorsey led the way, opening the door to the building, while Kennard shoved each one of us through the entry into the dank and stuffy front room.

"Have a seat," Kennard invited threateningly. We each quickly found a hard plastic chair to sit upon, except for Joe who just stood there with his wrists cuffed.

"What is the meaning of this, Luke?" Bradley sounded insulted. "This is not part of the plan, and you know it."

"It is the plan, you asshole, and has been all along." Kennard scorned.

_What in the hell was going on? _I noticed Joe was inching his way closer to my chair.

"Your part in this business is done," Kennard snickered, "and you just lost." Taking the pistol, he walked up to Bradley and, without hesitation, shot him point blank in the forehead.

I screamed as blood and brain matter splattered everywhere.

Joe reached my chair and tried to shield me with his body. Another shot, and I opened my eyes to Ferguson on the ground next to Bradley. I felt like I was going to throw up and pushed Joe aside to put my head between my knees. Kennard had just killed the very people we thought were responsible for all of this!

"I'm sorry you had to witness that, Ms. Plum. It's not very respectful to you, but seeing as you'll soon be joining them, I guess it doesn't really matter." Kennard said calmly.

"If you're going to kill me, don't I at least deserve the right to know what this is all about?" I asked weakly, still bent at the waist.

Kennard pulled up a chair and sat down, carefully making sure not to crease his suit pants. "I'm glad you asked. My story is certainly worthy of sharing."

He crossed his legs casually, still clutching the gun. "When you understand what I've managed to procure in the past couple of years, you'll realize I'm nothing short of a fucking genius. For instance I'm sure you're dying to know I am indeed the "K" in KD's Lady."

My head jerked up, and my mouth dropped open.

"Surprised?" he laughed. "Of course I know you and Manoso visited the marina Friday afternoon. The manager was only too happy to let me know someone was snooping around my boat."

"Our boat." Jake Dorsey opened his mouth for the first time.

Kennard looked disdainfully at Dorsey standing beside him. "Of course. OUR boat."

"How'd you two get hooked up with Striker?" Joe asked, indicating his presence in the conversation.

"Shut up, Morelli," Kennard commanded coldly. "I'm not talking to you right now. I'm in a discussion with the beautiful Ms. Plum, although I must say that is an incredibly unflattering dress you have on, Stephanie. Every time I've ever seen you about town on the arm of either Morelli or Manoso, you've always had a bit more flair. You really are quite the sex bomb, aren't you?"

Joe made a move toward him, and I grabbed his arm to hold him in place. Dembrowski sat quietly, assessing the conversation.

"To answer the detective's question, we have to go back fourteen years ago to Concord, California. That's where I met good old Jake here for the first time."

"You were friends?" I asked in surprise.

Kennard laughed. "No. Dorsey here—or should I say Dorsee there—had arrested me for drug possession. I was a down-on-my luck former Marine, who'd been kicked out of basic training for not being big enough or strong enough to play with the big boys, despite being the best marksman they'd ever seen. Afterward, I got into a bit of trouble with drugs, and Dorsee took advantage of it."

I tried to engage Dorsey, "What did you do, Jake?"

Kennard interrupted angrily, "This is MY story. I don't need Dorsey to assist in the telling of it." I could see Dorsey looked pissed at being cut off like that. Joe too seemed to sense the discord between the two men and was assessing the situation, looking for a way to use it to our advantage.

"Dorsey offered me a chance to avoid prison by allowing me to serve as an informant for him on the streets. In exchange, he supplied me with drugs he stole from the evidence room at the CPD. It was a great deal until he got busted and fired. Luckily for him, I had an uncle who was a judge. He kept Dorsey out of jail. I guess you could say we've had a mutually beneficial relationship through the years."

"How'd Dorsey end up in Trenton?"

"Jake moved East to try and rebuild his life with a new name. I, on the other hand, cleaned up my act out in Concord and went to school, graduating with a degree in political science. I had big dreams for my future." Kennard smiled wickedly. "Three years ago, I read in the newspaper about the Benito Ramirez/Jimmy Alpha cases. I saw a quote in there from a Jake Dorsey, lead detective on the Ramirez case and wondered if it could possibly be Jacob Dorsee, seeing as they were so close in name. My curiosity brought me to Trenton."

Kennard looked at his fingernails momentarily. "Imagine my delight to find it was indeed my old comrade. At dinner one night, I pumped him for information about the drug ring Jimmy Alpha was involved with, as well as Detective Morelli's misfortune in the Kulesza case. Dorsey was pretty upset to think Dembrowski over there got the lead on the case. Evidently there's no love lost between Morelli and Jake."

"He always thought he was better than me all through the academy," Dorsey glared at Joe in disgust.

"I _was _better than you, asshole," Joe mocked.

Dorsey reached over and backhanded Joe across the face with his pistol, causing him to fall back against the wall behind us.

"Joe!" I reached for him.

Kennard merely laughed. "It didn't take much to find out Jake was dissatisfied with the way his career was going. A little research between the two of us, and we were able to learn all we needed to know about Alpha's organization, Striker, the drop boats—everything."

"So you stepped in where Alpha left off?" I surmised.

"Naturally it wasn't that easy. It took me almost a year to worm my way in with the Striker posse, getting them to trust me. I also had to find a way to launder the money once the drugs were sold. There was a notice in the paper indicating the Mayor was looking for a new political assistant, and it was as if God himself had opened the door for how I was going to do it."

"The "Trenton Solution" wasn't Mayor Bradley's idea?"

"Hell no!" Kennard snorted. "That imbecile wouldn't know his ass from a hole in the ground which is why he needed to hire an assistant in the first place. Once I was hired, I quickly set about investigating all of Bradley's secrets. Everyone has them, you know. Turns out it wasn't hard to find his biggest one. The reason why Trenton was having such financial problems was because the good old Mayor was skimming money from the city coffers to help fund a gambling addiction."

"You blackmailed him," I stated the obvious.

"Not only beautiful, but smart. I like that," Kennard acknowledged. "Once I "convinced" Bradley of the plan, the two of us arranged for Dorsey to be moved into Internal Affairs. From there he was able to find dirt not only Ferguson but other cops too, including the ones who were in charge of the evidence room, as well as Dembrowski here. We had our team in place and product started moving into Trenton via KD's Lady, which was a restored Sal's Gal purchased from a police auction a couple of years ago."

Joe moved forward and dropped into the seat next to me. I could see a bruise developing on his cheek and his lip was bleeding profusely. He opened his mouth and gingerly said, "What about the eight men you murdered?"

Dorsey raised his hand to strike Joe again, but Kennard stopped him. "I'll answer his question." He shifted his gaze to Joe. "You're a pain in the ass, Morelli. It was your meddling that set back my business. Anyone but you would have left those low-level nobodies and moved on."

"You haven't answered my question."

"The men were all former informants of Dorsey's. Once we got the heroin flowing, we needed people to operate the drop boat for us. Jake looked up those men one at a time, and using some of the product itself as leverage, convinced each of them to pick up the drugs for us."

"You gave them heroin in exchange for transporting the product?" I clarified, my eyes widening slightly.

"Correct. Once each man made a single drop, we killed him. At first I did the killing, then in the last couple of months I turned it over to Jake. It was simply a matter of keeping as few people as possible in the loop. Dorsey had more than enough people he could blackmail. It was efficient to simply kill them as we went along."

"There are others?" Joe assumed.

Kennard grinned widely. "Dozens. This operation has been going on for almost a year, Morelli. You're late entering the game." He turned to Dorsey. "Of course when I was handling the killing, we didn't have any problems because I took care to dispose of the bodies properly. If you hadn't been lazy and left them where they could be found, we wouldn't be in this situation right now."

Dorsey's eyes narrowed. "Like I had time to be doing the killing to begin with—that was supposed to be _your _job. You think it was easy working a full-time job in IA, digging out information on people, running watchdog over those idiots in Vice and supervising the drugs?"

"Where are the drugs stored?" I wondered.

Kennard laughed again. "Right in the evidence room at the police department. After blackmailing the cops who run shop there, it was easy to get in and out. I told you the plan was brilliant."

"What about the Vice cops you killed?"

Kennard looked at Dorsey with revulsion. "Jake was in charge of making sure the Vice Squad cooperated by blackmailing them and making sure they turned a blind eye to the operation. He succeeded in only getting to half of them."

Dorsey defended himself, "It's damn hard to blackmail people when there's no dirt to use against them!"

"So the cops you killed the other night were clean." Joe stated aloud what he already knew in his gut.

"Yes," Dorsey acknowledged bitterly. "McKay was the first cop to catch wind on the street that heroin was on the rise in Trenton again. He started trying to put together a Vice team to investigate. Naturally, the cops I'd already blackmailed tried to dissuade him, but he managed to assemble a group anyway. They started their investigation a couple of months before you found the first dead body."

"And you killed the three City Council members opposed to _your_ plan?" I emphasized the fact it wasn't Bradley's plan at all.

"I took care of them," Kennard agreed proudly. "The ingeniousness of my plan all along was I've been able to use others to do the bulk of my dirty work. By going straight to the top and forcing the Mayor and Ferguson to join forces with me and do a lot of the recruiting, along with Dorsey, my name has never been linked to any of this mess. I'm just a poor assistant trying to do his job and following orders from his superiors."

Joe angled his body toward Dembrowski. "Just how do you fit into this, you fucking traitor?"

"Don't answer him!" Kennard dictated to Gus, and then responded to Morelli himself. "Dorsey was able to discover Gus' penchant for shall we say, hooking with hookers." He snorted. "Dembrowski was more than willing to help us by scheduling things to suit our purposes—like your little Hawaiian vacation and your more recent assignment on the Comensoli case."

At the mention of Dembrowski's penchant for prostitution, Joe studied Gus for the longest time, and then oddly forced his body to relax completely. "It was you who had me assigned to that bogus operation?" he asked Gus.

Kennard was on his feet. "I said you talk to _me, _Morelli. I'm in charge here!" He was clearly losing control. "I had Dembrowski arrange for your boss, Brett Rogers, to assign you to the Comensoli case. I decided enough was enough. Seeing as Dorsey wasn't able to do his job right and get you all off of our trail, it was time for serious damage control."

"Hey!" Dorsey sneered. "Watch your mouth, Kennard. You aren't in charge of me."

Kennard turned and had his pistol against Dorsey's forehead in an instant. "You're an idiot too, Jacob—and so weak." He pulled the trigger, and I screamed again. Joe's body was across mine in a flash, his face turned toward mine. "I'm sorry, Stephanie," he whispered frantically.

We were in a mess. I started crying—hard. Dembrowski was sitting on the edge of his chair, clearly shaken.

"Shut her up!" Kennard ordered Morelli. "Now."

"Steph—" Joe pleaded with his eyes, trying to calm me down.

"What does it matter?" I sobbed hysterically. "He's going to kill us anyway!"

"This is true," Kennard agreed, sitting down again.

"Can you at least take these cuffs off?" Joe asked gruffly, jerking his arms. "If I hold her, maybe she'll stop."

He simply stared at Joe. "Do you think I'm stupid, Morelli?"

I took several deep gulps and tried to even out my breathing. Since working for Vinnie, I'd faced my own mortality more times than I cared to remember, but the terror gripping me now was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. We had all the wrong information about who was in charge of this nightmare. The police weren't going to be able to help, and Ranger had no idea where we were.

_Ranger_. God, if only Dembrowski hadn't taken the wire. He would have been able to track us. I knew he must be frantic, trying to figure out what to do and who to trust.

Kennard spoke again, "Well, now that we've all calmed down a bit, allow me to finish. I suggested to Mayor Bradley we needed to end this investigation of yours and the Vice Squad's once and for all. I saw an opportunity to eliminate Councilman Comensoli at the same time, so along with Chief Ferguson, we arranged for the bogus money laundering case. The plan, as you've probably assumed by now, was to have you all in one place, so we could kill you."

"Why did Dorsey tell dispatch shots had been fired?" Joe asked the question that had been bothering me since Thursday night.

"Because he's stupid!" Kennard burst out. "The plan was originally to have him go in and assassinate all of you in the same manner as the murders you'd been investigating. We'd then come up with a bogus case to explain why everyone had been killed, most likely pinning it on Vic Comensoli's mafia-tied brother. At the last minute, Dorsey chickened out. He was afraid one of you might get a shot off at him first. So he came back to headquarters, took explosives from the demolition unit, went back and set the explosion to go off thirty minutes later, giving him enough time to get back to headquarters."

"That still doesn't explain why he told Mona Meyers about shots being fired." Joe pushed.

"When he returned, he was still shaken by the change in our strategy and mistakenly mentioned to Mona the original plan by telling her you'd called in the report of shots fired. His mistake was even greater, because at the time, we thought _you _were in the explosion as well. He couldn't have been supposedly talking to you. Moments later when you called in the explosion, Dorsey realized the mess he made. He immediately called me, and that's when we put together the plan to use you as the scapegoat in all of this. You had all of those ties to Ramirez and Alpha. Unless we could find a way to kill you beforehand, we felt we could manufacture enough evidence to show how you had picked up where Alpha had left off."

"This is fucking unbelievable," Morelli muttered. "And you really think you're going to continue on with your operation?" It was more of a statement than a question.

Kennard raised his eyebrows. "Of course. Everyone that matters is dead or will be after you join these losers. I still have control over the cops whom we've blackmailed and the remaining City Council members—probably now more so than ever. It will be easy to prove the City is in a mess. Until they can find a new Mayor, whom I will once again blackmail, I'll be left in charge of running things. As I said before, I'm a genius."

"You're a fucking lunatic is what you are," Morelli said. With a mere glance at Dembrowski, they stood simultaneously. Joe shifted his body completely in front of me and said one word. "Now."

Before Kennard even had a chance to react, Gus screamed. "Gun!" _Wait! That was the voice from the funeral home!_

I didn't even have time to process my thought before the front window of Alpha's former office shattered and half of Kennard's face was blown off. He fell to the floor with a thud. Instantly, the room was flooded with state troopers and official-looking men in suits. Right behind them was Ranger, Tank and the rest of the men from RangeMan.

Joe yelled at Dembrowski. "Find the key for these cuffs."

Gus quickly searched Ferguson's pockets until he found the key, unlocking Morelli's hands. As soon he was free, Joe turned and pulled me into his arms, burying my face in his chest. Neither of us said a word.

Once he was able to get around all of the law enforcement people, Ranger made his way over to us. "Everyone okay?" he asked quietly, resting his hand briefly on my cheek. Even in my hysteria, I could see concern and love radiating from his eyes. I knew it had to be killing him not to be the one to offer me comfort. I tried smiling at him, but found I only wanted to hide my face against Joe's chest. I wasn't feeling very well.

"We need to get her out of here," Joe's voice sounded far away.

I knew there was something else I should be saying right now, but I couldn't even get my mind to work…something about Dembrowski.

_Wait! _That was it. Why had Gus helped us? He was one of them. Shouldn't they be apprehending him? I turned to say all of this, but my eyes fell upon the scene of Kennard, Dorsey, Bradley and Ferguson—all lying in their own blood. My knees became like jelly, and there were spots in front of my eyes. _Uh-oh! _I could feel my eyes rolling backward, and I was out.


	19. Chapter 19

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Nineteen<p>

"She's coming around," I heard Joe's voice say in my dream. "Could one of you grab the doctor out in the hallway?"

I felt his warm lips spreading tiny kisses across my face. _Mmmmm so nice…But why couldn't I see him?_

"Joe?" My voice sounded scratchy.

His hand brushed the hair back from my forehead. "I'm right here, Cupcake. Open your eyes."

It was an effort, but I finally managed to open them a slit and was immediately accosted by a bright light hanging from the ceiling. _Where was I? _They immediately closed against the offensive intrusion, and I turned my head to the side.

"Stephanie…honey, wake up," he shifted his body to block the light. "You're in the emergency room at St. Francis. Can you try and open your eyes again?"

_St. Francis? What the hell!_

They popped back open, and this time I could see Joe gazing at me with love and concern. His face was severely bruised from his temple down across his cheek, and he had three tiny stitches beside the corner of his mouth. _Stitches?_

It all came rushing back to me, and I immediately tried to sit up. "Hold on, Cupcake." Joe eased me backward against the pillows. Ranger, Tank and Cal stood off to the side of the small examination room, looking equally concerned.

The door opened and Hal ushered in the doctor, an older man with gray hair and wire-rimmed glasses. He pushed past Joe and began to raise the hospital bed in which I was lying. "Well, Ms. Plum, I see you've decided to join the land of the conscious once again," he remarked cheerfully. He pulled a stethoscope from his lab coat pocket and began to listen to my heart. I saw the badge on his breast pocket read Dr. Willow.

Clearing my throat, I managed, "I'm fine. Just embarrassed. I can't believe I passed out like that." In truth, I was mortified. How was I supposed to maintain the image of a tough bounty hunter if I fainted at the drop of a hat?

"Nonsense," Dr. Willow chided me. "It's a wonder you're awake already. Your system received quite a shock tonight, you know. Terror is a powerful weapon."

I turned to Joe, linking my fingers with his as the doctor continued to poke and prod me. "Are you okay? Your face is a mess."

The good side of Joe's mouth curled slightly and he said dryly, "Thanks for noticing. I'm all right. My cheek hurts like hell, but the lip is fine. Fine enough to kiss you at least." He leaned over and brushed his lips over mine.

Dr. Willow cleared his throat. "Detective, would you mind letting me finish my examination, please?" He smiled. "No sense in exciting my patient unnecessarily."

"Oh, it's necessary alright." I nodded my head seriously, and Joe laughed. Who would have ever thought he'd laugh again after what we'd been through earlier?

"Is she okay, Doctor?" Ranger asked from across the room. I looked over and saw him staring at me. His expression was unreadable.

Dr. Willow stood. "Ms. Plum is fine. Pulse is strong. Heartbeat's good. Nothing some food, liquids and a lot of rest won't cure."

Joe nodded. "I'll see she gets all of them, doctor. Thank you." He held out his hand to the physician. "Is she allowed to go home?"

"Certainly, but I think she should take it easy for a day or two," He eyed Joe more closely. "You should as well, Detective. You've been through a terrible ordeal tonight."

"I'm fine. I just want to make sure Stephanie is okay." Joe insisted, looking at me intently.

We all watched Dr. Willow leave the room and then looked awkwardly at one another. I had so many questions, but the two most pressing matters on my mind were Gus Dembrowski and Grandma Mazur. "Where's Gus?" I asked Joe. "Has he been arrested?" Turning my head toward Ranger, I added, "And do you know anything about my grandmother? The last I saw her, Lula was trying to protect her from the stampede."

Ranger smiled at me, "Your grandma's fine, Babe. Lula too."

Squeezing the fingers of my hand, Joe said, "I promise we'll tell you everything, Steph, but let's get you out of here first, okay? Hospitals are just too damn creepy."

I had to agree, and Dr. Willow _had_ said something about food. "I'm starving," I admitted to everyone. "I'd give anything for a Pino's meatball sub."

"I'll go down and have the Turbo brought around to the back of the building. Hector dropped it off awhile ago," Ranger offered. "You'll want to duck out of here fairly quickly. The media vultures have already caught wind of what went down tonight and are starting to swarm."

Tank added, "We'll stop and pick up some subs at Pino's and meet you back at RangeMan, if that's okay?"

Joe fixed his eyes on Ranger. "I appreciate both offers," he said.

Ranger gave me one last look and left the room with his men. I couldn't help but let out a huge sigh over how uncomfortable it had become between us. I was going to miss him terribly if he couldn't move past his feelings for me. To not have him in my life somehow would break my heart.

Misreading my sigh, Joe ran a hand over my curls. "I'm sorry I've put you in a position where you've had to choose between us, Stephanie. I know you have feelings for him. After the danger I put you in tonight, I'd understand if you want to change your mind about us. Maybe Manoso is a safer bet." He sounded dejected. He looked at the clock on the wall. "Technically, it's still Sunday. My ultimatum was for you to make a decision about us by today. Do you want to renege?"

"Are you kidding? After what we've just endured together, you think I'd walk away? That hurts, Morelli."

He slid the hand on my hair down my face and cupped my chin. "We're back to Morelli, huh." He grimaced. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt you. In my entire life, I've never been as scared as when I thought Kennard was going to kill you tonight. I only want you to be safe and happy."

"_You _make me happy, _Joe_," I reached up and grasped the wrist of his hand holding my chin. "I understand it's going to take time for you to trust me after all that's happened between you, me and Ranger, but I wish you'd try to believe me when I say I'm only in love with you."

He leaned in and kissed me as deeply as his sore face would allow. Even then, he was wincing when we pulled apart.

He looked tired. "I'll try. I love you too." He kissed me one last time. "Now let's get out of here."

* * *

><p>Ranger had left a new prepaid cell phone on the passenger seat of the Turbo. On the drive to Rangeman, I took the opportunity to call my parents to let them know Joe and I were okay as well as to check on Grandma Mazur. My mother was frantic and also sounded rather loopy. Perhaps Grandma had been right about the drinking. If I didn't start getting my act together, I may very well be responsible for sending my mother to AA. Joe quickly called his mom as well, and we both felt better knowing the Burg grapevine would be fed the news of our safety.<p>

Most of the team had elected to go home for the night by the time we reached Rangeman. Only Ranger and Tank joined us at the kitchen table. I noticed Ella or someone else had done a miraculous job of cleaning up my "cookie chaos", although the oven was still completely toast. Dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt Joe had brought me from my apartment, it felt good to stuff my face with junk food. Joe had said we could go home to his place tomorrow, but tonight we all needed a chance to debrief.

Taking another massive bite of sub, I mumbled, "Okay, so tell me everything."

Ranger picked at his salad, clearly looking upset he'd not been able to prevent what happened tonight. "We knew right away you were in trouble. Hector could hear it over the wire and immediately communicated with us. Kennard had arranged for us to be outside at the time, working the crowd. He obviously knew my connection to you and wanted us out of the way when they went for Morelli. Once the rush of people started coming out of the funeral home there was no way we could move for several minutes."

"How in the hell did you know where to find us afterward?" I asked in amazement, still terrified at how close we'd come to being killed that night.

Ranger responded. "You were wearing a tracking device in that bracelet of yours all night, Babe."

"I was?" I looked at Joe in amazement. Slipping the scarab off of my wrist, I examined the inside and found the tiny device glued to the metal.

"I knew you'd think I was being overly protective if I told you ahead of time," Joe explained, "so Ranger and I worked it out earlier in the day."

"Almost as soon as we knew you were taken from Stiva's we were following you," Ranger continued. "From the way you all were talking in the van—at least until Dembrowski smashed the wire—it sounded as though you were being taking down to police headquarters." He took another bite of salad. "It surprised us when Dorsey pulled the van up in front of Alpha's old place. Even more surprising was Kennard showed up. We knew something wasn't right, so I called in the State Troopers for backup. We were already in position across the street from the office building when they arrived along with all of the suits."

"Who were those men?" I wondered.

"FBI."

"How are they connected?"

Joe quietly picked up the story. "It was through Dembrowski, Steph."

"Huh?"

"Evidently, Dembrowski's been working for the Feds all along."

"Did you know that?" I asked, my eyes narrowing suspiciously. "You've certainly defended him from the beginning." I couldn't bear the thought of Joe having held back information from all of us, even though he'd been prone to do it in the past.

Joe shook his head. "No, I didn't know what was going on until I saw the FBI agents swarm Alpha's office tonight, but I knew Dembrowski was up to something. Remember when Kennard said they'd used Gus' supposed penchant for prostitutes as a way to blackmail him?"

"Yeah."

Joe smiled slightly, cautious of his lip. "I'm probably the only one on the force who knows this, because it dates all the way back to high school, but Gus is gay. He always has been. As soon Kennard made the comment, I knew something was up. Dembrowski and I made eye contact after the statement, and somehow I sensed he was trying to communicate with me to trust him."

"It's a hell of a risk you took," Ranger commented. I couldn't tell if he was criticizing or commending Joe for his action.

"No shit!" Joe agreed shakily. "Probably the biggest of my life. When the two of us stood up, and I said 'now', I had no idea if Gus had back-up or not."

"They had snipers all over the place across the street," Tank explained. "Evidently, the word "gun" was the key phrase Dembrowski was ordered to use throughout the night. The first time was to start a distraction at Stiva's, in order for Morelli to be taken. The second was to signal the snipers to shoot."

"So all this time, he's been a mole for the FBI?" I couldn't believe it.

Ranger responded, "When the Feds arrived on-scene, I explained my connection to the two of you and learned Dembrowski had caught wind of Bradley's heroin operation six months ago. He'd overheard a locker room conversation between the two cops who ran the evidence room. Not knowing whom to trust in-house, he went to the State Troopers for advice, who in turn called in the Feds. They arranged for Dembrowski to have a bogus past with prostitutes in order for him to be blackmailed by Dorsey and brought into the operation."

"Have you talked with him personally?" I asked Joe. "Did he tell you why he chose to bring me along tonight? Why he smashed the wire? He could have told me what was going on when we were alone on the stairs."

"I saw him briefly at the hospital before he left with the Feds. He said to tell you he's sorry about having to touch you inappropriately in order to get the wire off of your body." I could tell Joe was still angry about that little detail despite the fact Dembrowski was gay.

"What else did he say?"

"He said he was ordered by Kennard to bring you with us. He didn't say anything to you on the stairwell, because he was also ordered by the Feds to maintain his cover at all times. The thing is _he _was wearing a wire too, Steph. Everything said in the van, along with Kennard's confession are on tape."

_Thank God! _"What about physical evidence?" I directed toward Tank. "Did you find anything at Dorsey's house?"

The man whom I always thought of as a gentle giant, smiled shyly. "Oh yeah," he drawled. "I found the frickin' mother lode. Names, dates, plans—you name it. I showed the pictures I took to the Troopers and the Feds. Search warrants were immediately sought, and as far as I know, they're using the data I collected to go and hunt down the rest of the people involved in the operation yet tonight."

"I saw the list," Joe spoke quietly. "There's a hell of a lot of cops on it. Men and women I've known for years. I'm not sure if the TBD will ever be able to recover." He looked tired and depressed.

It hit me how hard this was for him. Not only had he been almost killed tonight, but he'd almost been framed a second time for a crime he didn't commit. He'd been betrayed by people he'd trusted. Joe Morelli may be a tough cop, but he was also human, and tonight he was hurting deeply. All his concern had been for my well being tonight. It was time for me to do the same for him.

"It's late, and I'm tired. I think we all could use some sleep," I announced. Taking Joe's hand, I asked, "What time is the funeral?"

"Eleven o'clock, but we can't go."

"Of course we can," I insisted. "I know the doctor said I needed to rest, but I'll be fine by tomorrow, I promise."

Ranger responded, "Babe, you and Morelli have to report tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. to meet with the State and Federal boys. They wanted to start interviewing you tonight, but Morelli insisted you needed to rest first."

"That's ridiculous," I sputtered. "Joe needs to be there for his fellow officers. This is a big deal. They'll have representatives from police departments across the state. For Christ's sake, he was _there _when it happened. After what he's been through, he should at least be able to mourn with his brothers."

"You don't get it, Stephanie," Ranger shook his head. "It's going to be a three-ring circus as it is with all of the media there. With Bradley out of the picture, they're bringing in the governor to lead the service. They can't risk having you two in attendance causing further distraction from honoring those men."

Joe stood up from the table, looking lost. "Steph's right. I _am _tired" He looked at Ranger speculatively. "There's been a lot of bad blood between the two of us, Manoso, and I'm not too stupid to know it's just as much my fault as yours." He included Tank in his gaze. "I'm indebted to you both for your help the past few days. I won't forget it, and if I can return the favor sometime, I hope you'll ask." He reached out and shook both of their hands—and not even the little funky kind of shake men sometimes do. This was a real man's shake.

After he left the room, I looked helplessly at Ranger and Tank. "I don't know what to say to him," I admitted guiltily.

Tank looked unnerved by all the sentiment. "I got to get going," he said to Ranger. "I'll see you in the morning." He quickly hustled out of the kitchen as well.

Ranger and I sat there uncomfortably for several moments. Finally, he reached across the table and took my hand. "I was scared to death tonight, Babe." His fingers ran across my knuckles. "I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to handle not having the right to care about you the way I do. It's killing me."

"And It's killing _me_ to know you've sacrificed so much for me the past few days, and I can't give you what you deserve in return. What you've done for Joe, because of your love for me, is humbling. Saying thank you doesn't seem nearly enough."

"But you're in love with him," Ranger declared bluntly.

I simply nodded my head, feeling my eyes water. "I'm sorry."

Ranger put my hand down. "He's going to need a lot of patience, Babe. There was I time when I was in a similar place in the military. Knowing you've been used and betrayed by your own brothers can really fuck with your mind."

I nodded uncomfortably.

"You'll be leaving in the morning?"

"Joe hasn't said anything, but I'd imagine we'll drop Rex and Bob off at his place before we head in to start the interview process." I felt the need to go to Joe. "I'd better turn in as well. Goodnight." I made it as far as the door before I found myself turning back. "I know it's not going to happen right away, Ranger, but I hope one day we can remain friends. I do still love you."

"Friends," Ranger spoke the word almost like a profanity. He paused for a moment. "I'm not promising anything, Babe—at least not right now. But I know I love you too. It's just a different kind of love, I guess."

Walking down the hallway to the bedroom, I tried to compose myself. I didn't know how the hell I was going to help Joe and the thought of having to endure questioning tomorrow from the police and the FBI terrified me. I just wanted to go back to my normal life of chasing skips, eating junk food, loving my family and friends—and loving Joe. Then it hit me. I wanted The Burg! Once again Mary Lou had seen what I couldn't see for myself. The reason I was still in Trenton was not only because of Joe, but because this was my home, and I wasn't ashamed of it anymore. I _wanted_ to go home.

Opening the door to the bedroom, I found Joe sound asleep in bed, and this time I knew he was indeed asleep. He looked like a little boy with one arm flung behind his head on the pillow and his long hair falling over his good eye. A wave of love and protection so strong swept through me at the sight of him lying there with all of his defenses down. I vowed right then and there no matter what it took on my part, I would help him find his way home too.

* * *

><p>It was late Monday afternoon, and I was exhausted. We'd met with the State and Federal authorities for over six hours. Although they were pleasant enough people and certainly apologetic to both Joe and me for what we'd had to endure, the questions were <em>endless. <em>At four-thirty, they finally had agreed to let us go, announcing my presence was no longer needed. Joe, however, would be involved in countless more meetings with them, along with the local police to determine his future as well as that of the TBD. The good news—at least in my mind—was his immediate reinstatement to the police force. They also reissued his gun and badge prior to our leaving. Oddly, Joe hadn't been nearly as enthused as I was when it happened. In fact, he'd looked downright depressed.

We really hadn't had any time alone since our time at the hospital the night before. When I'd awakened that morning, he'd already been in the shower. We'd ridden to his place with Bob and Rex in silence, both of us mentally preparing ourselves for the interview process. After dropping off the animals, we'd agreed to take our own transportation to the precinct in case Joe got held up longer than I did. And the rest of the day was spent in the company of State Troopers and Federal Agents. Despite not having had time alone, I could tell Joe was not himself. While still attentive to my needs, he'd been uncommunicative unless spoken to and had seemed to have a lot of anger simmering beneath the surface of his emotions.

We were standing next to our vehicles in the parking lot, and I didn't quite know what to say. Did he even want me to go home with him? He seemed so distant.

"So…when do you have to report tomorrow?" I asked cautiously, fiddling with the strap of my bag. I hated feeling ill at ease.

Joe ran a finger up the side of my arm. _That was encouraging! _Ignoring my question, he said, "I was wondering if you'd mind if I took off for a few hours by myself." He had his hand around my neck, pulling me closer to stand between his legs as he leaned against his SUV. "There's something I need to do, and I could use some time to think by myself, okay?" He gave me the best smile he could with his bruised face, but there was zero connection with his eyes. They were still dull.

My forehead wrinkled. "Of course! I don't blame you. It's got to feel good to be free to do anything you want without fear."

He pulled me closer and ran light kisses along my jaw line. "I still want to be with you tonight. Do you think you could stay at my place, or are you anxious to get back to yours?"

_Hunh? _"Oh!" I sounded startled—which I was. "I thought we'd already agreed to stay at your place. Permanently." _What was going on here?_

Joe looked relieved. "That's what I want," he said in a rush, "but I didn't want to push you either, Cupcake. This has been the week from hell for both of us. So much has happened emotionally. I don't want to take advantage of that and have you doing something you'll regret later."

"No regrets. I promise." I kissed him carefully, avoiding the stitches. "I'm going over to my apartment to pack up some more things. I'll meet you in a couple of hours. We can go get something to eat to celebrate your reinstatement."

Joe's eyes dimmed even further. "Yeah. Sure." He kissed me again. "I'll see you in awhile."

* * *

><p>Three hours later it was getting dark and still no Joe. I'd long since arrived at his house, unpacked my things, taken a shower and even played with Bob outside for ages. <em>Where could he have gone? <em>I couldn't decide if he'd go visit his mother, his cousin Mooch—a bar, or if he was driving around aimlessly. I didn't want to be one of those women who calls to check on her man, but somehow I knew with certainty I needed to find Joe, bring him home and get him talking.

By eight o'clock I was frantic. Grabbing the phone, I was set to call his mother when it came to me where he was—why I'll never know. I quickly called Mary Lou and begged the favor of having her come pick me up. I wanted to be able to ride home with Joe once I found him. Being the best friend she truly was, she was there in less than five minutes with her minivan. She gave me a quick hug and told me she was glad Joe and I were safe, and then didn't speak another word other than to ask where she was taking me.

"St. Mary's Cemetery," I responded.

It was getting dark by the time we arrived, but it didn't take us long to find Joe sitting on the ground next to the five graves of the cops they'd buried that morning.

"Thanks, Mare," I said quietly, putting my hand on the door handle. "And I mean for everything. You're the one who got me to stop being scared and to start thinking clearly the other night."

"Go on. I'll talk with you later," she shooed me out the door and drove off.

Joe either hadn't heard Mary Lou's vehicle or else didn't care, because he was still just sitting there with his legs bent, his forearms crossed over his knees. I carefully picked my way across the grass and between grave markers until I was standing behind him.

"Do you have room for me?" I asked almost shyly.

Startled, Joe raised his head and I could see the pain in his eyes. This past week Joe had shown me a depth of emotion I never knew he was capable of having. He was always so in control. This new side of him somehow seemed more approachable. Kneeling down, I touched his face gently. "Please talk to me," I invited.

He swallowed hard, and I thought for a moment he'd brush me off. Instead he allowed me to crawl between his legs, so that my back was against his chest and his arms were wrapped around me. We sat there silently for several moments, looking at the newly dug graves.

"I'm scared, Stephanie," he finally whispered.

"Of what?"

"I'm not really sure I can describe it. I'm scared I've lost my ability to do the job any more."

I was stunned, but decided to tread carefully. "Any particular reason why?"

His body tensed. "I'm just so fucking _angry_. Angry about what my job put _you _through, our families through, our friends, Tank—hell, even Ranger. I'm angry so many men and women I've trusted over the years could be bought out so easily by fear. And I'm angriest over the fact that _two times_ now I've been forced to endure the humiliation of being accused of a crime I didn't commit."

He paused to push a lock of his hair out of his eyes. "I'm a damn good cop, Steph. You don't know how hard I've had to work to rise above the Morelli reputation. I respect the badge and all it represents to people, and now I'm not even sure if I can wear it again. If those cops were willing to sell their souls to the Devil Kennard, then who's next? Is there the chance it could be me someday?"

"Never!" I squeezed the arms around me in assurance. "It's not in your make-up, Joe. Those cops were weak. But there are still plenty of good ones left—cops like Eddie and Carl, Flip Parker, Big Dog and your boss Brett Rogers. And look at the sacrifice Dembrowski was willing to make when he agreed to help the FBI. You're right; the TBD has taken a beating. All of Trenton's city government has, but you can't just give up."

Joe exhaled against my ear. "I'm just so fucking tired."

"You need some time off to rest and to regroup—and to grieve."

"How'd you know to find me here?"

"Instinct. You're torn up about not having been killed with these cops. And the fact you couldn't be there to honor them today has been eating at you as well."

"They were good cops," Joe said quietly.

I turned my head to look up at him. "You may not want to hear this right now, but the best way you can honor their memories is to do the job, Joe. The TBD needs your leadership."

He gave a little jerk of his head. "Maybe. I don't know. I'm supposed to report again tomorrow at 9 a.m. to find out who's going to be in charge until a permanent chief can be appointed. I'm hoping they choose Brett Rogers."

"Then you should be there to help ensure that happens," I encouraged.

"We'll see. Right now I just want to go out to dinner with you, and then go back to our place, have you model the nightgown I bought and make love with you all night long."

I picked up on his choice of words. "Our place?" I repeated, raising an eyebrow.

He nuzzled my neck with his lips. "Ouch!" he muttered. "Damn, my face hurts!" He hugged me closer. "I want it to be our place, Stephanie. I know you're scared of marriage, and I'm not asking that of you. But I want to have a home with you—to build something together."

"A haven in the midst of a crazy, fucked up world," I mused thoughtfully.

Joe actually laughed. "I think I was going for something a little more romantic, but whatever works. Where'd you get an image like that?"

"Mary Lou. She said that's another thing intimacy and commitment provide."

"When the hell did Mary Lou become such a wise sage?" He hugged me closer. "Never mind—don't answer. I don't even care, as long as you say you want to come home with me too."

"I do, and I will, but about the nightgown…" I stood up and put out my hand to help him up.

"What about it?" Joe asked, keeping his fingers linked with mine as we headed toward his truck.

"I'm thinking I might want to save it."

"For what?"

"For my honeymoon."

Joe stopped dead in his tracks. "Cupcake?"

I smiled teasingly. "Maybe not right away, but I'm thinking it's—"

"It's about time," he finished, "or at least _almost_ time. I hope so. I love you more than life itself, Stephanie."

"I know you do. I love you too. Let's go home."

The End

A/N - Thanks so much to all of you who supported my first attempt at Fan Fiction. I had so much fun writing this story!


End file.
